Disclaimer: I don't own the sharacters just the plot…

Author's Ramblings: Okay so you need a lil' background info for this story. In my story being gay is illegal. It is told from Spencer's point of view thought sometimes I switch to Ashley's. They are already together but can't show affection unless they're completely alone. I bring several new characters in but mostly it's all about Spencer and Ashley! Enjoy!!


Chapter 1

The stares. It's one thing I just can't stand. The stares. The feeling of thousands of eyes on me, penetrating into my very soul and being. They don't know me. How can they say what I feel is wrong? That what I feel is indecent. For once I just wish they could feel some of the pain I am feeling. The pain of being an outcast in a society that expects everything to be perfect. I look over at Ashley. I wish I could just kiss her, hold her, but that would mean giving away our secret and spending the rest of our lives in jail. Why can't they just accept the fact that me and Ashley are in love? Shouldn't love be enough…

The club was packed that night with underage teens trying to act older but not necessarily more mature. Picking up my shot glass I studied my reflection. There must be something out of place…something different. I looked closely at my features. They seemed normal enough; blonde hair and blue eyes. Sure I was shorter and perhaps skinnier than a normal girl of sixteen but was that a reason to hate me? My eyes fell on my friend and girlfriend Ashley and saw a normal girl of her age; brown hair and beautiful brown eyes; eyes I could get lost in. So why were people so hateful towards her? Ashley and I came out to each other at the same time confessing our inner most feelings for each other. The memories collided with each other, exploding inside my head causing my senses to become inflamed.


Back then the walls in my room were still covered in that ugly pink color and pictures of Orlando Bloom placed there to convince others and me that my feelings weren't true. To convince them that I was not different, that I was normal. Thank God I painted it! My computer was turned on and I sat before it browsing through my email. Someone barged in through the firmly closed door causing me to fall back out of my chair. Snickering could be heard through my grunts as I tried to find a hand hold.

"You think that's funny, huh?" I asked a laughing Ashley through my struggles.

"Yes, yes I do!" The brunette walked over to me on the floor and offered me her hand. I took the hand with a grunt of disdain but could not ignore the electricity that shot through my arm. She smiled at me and I slowly felt my anger ebbing away. How could I resist that smile?

"So is there a reason why you felt the need to come in here and scare me to death?" I joked but watched as Ashley's face suddenly turned serious. I was taken a back. Ashley was almost never serious. She was the partier the up lifter; never have I seen her serious. Ashley sighed she seemed tired. But tired of what? She motioned for the bed. I nodded and together we both sank onto the end of my bed. The bed equipped with the ten pillows every teenage girl should have but doesn't necessarily use. I reached over and clutched one of the pillows, hugging it tightly. She sighed again and looked up at me. Her eyes were dark, all trace of merriment gone. She took a deep in take of breath and began.

"Spencer…I figured something…out about myself…and in this world my decision is not accepted…" I just sat there listening trying to figure where s he was going. Her voice, what she was saying sounded so rehearsed, practiced. Why did she look so worried?

"Ashley…what's going on?"

"In this society that expects you to be perfect…I am an outcast…"

I laughed, "Oh! You mean that prank you pulled last April? Ashley, no one cares about…"

"It's not that Spence!" s he interrupted me rubbing her hands against her eyes, "it's so much worse," she said in barely a whisper. I shook my head in utter confusion.

"I don't…"

"Listen to me Spencer," s he said grabbing my hand and placing it in hers, "you…need to promise me that this will never leave this room…" I nodded giving her my word. Once again s he took a deep breath, "Spencer…I'm…gay…and I have feelings…for you…" I got up from the bed and began to pace a celebration occurring in my head. 'she likes me and…she's gay…and' I cheered inside my head. If thoughts could jump mine would be soaring. 'and I…like her! YESS! Wait…' It took me a moment to realize that Ashley had moved and now was halfway to the door a look of pure sadness upon her face.

"Wait! Ashley!" I said finally finding my voice. I ran over and grabbed her arm pulling her into a fierce hug, "I like you too," I whispered quietly into her ear. She pulled me tighter to her. I enjoyed being in her arms but knew it couldn't last.

"Everything is going to change now isn't it…"s he didn't answer me. A knock sounded on the door and we quickly pulled apart separating to opposite sides of the bedroom.


Things were so much easier then…so less complicated…how did things go so wrong…? I thought to myself as I stirred my drink with my straw. I looked at in surprise not recalling getting up to get a refill. Shrugging I looked at the dance floor. Never had I seen Del Barrio so full before. Men danced with women, but no woman danced with a woman, no man danced with a man…it was…forbidden. I gave a deep sigh and gulped down the rest of the liquid wincing as the sharp liquid slid down my throat. We had no idea what we were getting into…

"Spencer…Spencer!" a loud voice broke through my thoughts as I looked up at Ashley. The happiness has still not fully returned to her eyes. They are still dark with worry…they never have been the same since that night…

"I'm sorry…what did you say?"

"I asked you what you were thinking about…"

"The meeting," I lied knowing that if I had told her the truth I would have received the inquisition and I was not in the mood to have my brain probed.

"Yeah…it's gonna be intense…in fact," she said glancing at her watch, "we should get going."

"Right," I mumbled not really thinking, "I'll get Marc and you get Darren." We separated going off in search of our friends. Pushing through the crowd my thoughts strayed toward the other two important people in my life our friends. Darren and Marc were fellow homosexuals. We worked well together. Darren posing as Ashley's boyfriend and Marc as my boyfriend. We were very close and had to be if we had to share kisses cementing the idea that we were together into people's minds. I spotted Marc. His black hair bobbing in the crowd.

"Marc! Can you hear me?" I yelled hoping that he could hear me above the pounding music inside of the club. The music was in fact very loud and the other people yelling trying to catch their companions' attention. Plus Marc is probably dancing with someone he never was a laid back kind of person.

"Yeah?" I let out a breath of relief as I heard his voice float to me across the dancing mob of people.

"It's time to go…"


Yeah okay so in the next chapter I will explain the meeting and what not. This chap was just to give you an intro! Hope you enjoyed!