Hey so here's part 4/5 of the Safe Series. So it's from Happy's point of view as he meets Agent Clinton Barton for the first time (in this alternate universe, not the comics or movies), as well as his kids.

Disclaimer: I am not a man, so therefore I'm not Stan Lee, I don't own anything Marvel, and I'm not Jon Favreu and I can't make Iron Man films - or if I did then they would be shit. I only own my OCs Nadia, Josef and Alyona (and yes that's a Russian name).

I'd like to give out a special shoutout to Quetsche for her help, especially with my French and naming baby Barton. So merci mon ami.

italics = thoughts or emphasised points.


Happy Hogan, bodyguard and chauffeur to a Mister Anthony Edward Stark, wasn't actually that bothered that he was working on one of his days off for the first time in his life.

Besides being paid an extra two hundred dollars to move an Avenger's belongings into his new home in Stark Tower (or Avengers' Tower as the residents liked to call it), he was also going to see the most beautiful woman in the world again. His beloved boss had informed him that not only would Natalie Rushman - sorry, Natasha Romanoff - be visiting, but she'd also be moving into the tower as well!

Hogan had finally decided to man-up and ask her if she wanted to go out sometime. Yeah, maybe that would work.

"I'm just giving you a heads-up Happs, she's not the woman you think she is. She's not the sexy, flirty, incredibly hot secretary, and she's definitely not as bitchy and cold around the Avengers as she used to be. She's lost her edge - slightly - and mellowed out a bit, but that's mainly due to her learning how to properly socialise with her friends. So what I'm trying to say Happ, is that she just won't be interested in y-"

"Look Tony, I'm just gonna ask her out. Probably to an expensive restaurant using the money I earn today, you've got to treat a woman to luxury."

Tony just gave him a pointed look before he shrugged his shoulders like he was giving up. "Suit yourself." He muttered dejectedly before he exited the tiny steel elevator (A/N: or lifts as us Brits call them).

He's probably just jealous that I'll get to tap Nat, Happy smirked. Yup, Stark was definitely jealous of him.

"I'm just gonna warn you Hogan. Hawkass maybe about to treat you like an inferior bug, and trust me, he will squash the metaphorical bug you if you try to cross him, but he's just a little overprotective of his family. So don't piss him off buddy, I like you too much to replace you."

"Yeah right, I'm 400 pounds (A/N: okay I'm English, I work stuff out in kilograms, so I hope that's an accurate enough figure for you Americans out there) of solid muscle like he could actually take me on."

Stark actually had the nerve to laugh, both at the thought of Happy exaggerating about his muscles and at the thought of Barton wiping the floor with him.

"You're funeral," he stated as they reached the end of the hallway to stop outside a maplewood door. The hallway around them looked relaxed with it's milk chocolate coloured sofas and accenting red cushions. Potted ferns stood on either sides of the two sofas, and modern replica Picasso's hung off the walls of the corridor to create a comforting, homely atmosphere. The door wasn't painted to stand-out against the rest of the hallway, so the person living behind it wasn't trying to draw attention to himself.

Tony knocked three times like he was attempting to put across some kind of Morse code before he gave up and started hammering on the door yelling "Open up Legolas!" after he didn't get a response within three seconds of knocking.

Impatient brat, Happy thought to himself just before the door opened.

An unimpressed looking blonde guy yanked the door open and glared at Tony for a second as he strode into the apartment. Blondie rolled his eyes before gesturing for Happy to come in too.

Happy studied the supposed assassin for a minute before following him in.

Hawkeye was relatively tall, and aside from the sandy blonde hair, he had pale blue-grey eyes and he was built like a personal trainer. He was wearing a black Bruce Springsteen tour shirt with black work-out pants (A/N: urgh, trousers, pants are underwear). He looked like more of a rugged Hollywood model with his five o'clock shadow and bare feet to Happy.

Hogan followed him down a short corridor that opened up into a cream-walled living room with a 64-inch flat screen t.v. screen attached to the wall and two soft, gun metal grey sofas.

Hawkeye rushed over to pick something up off the floor upon arriving in the room. He turned around, rocking his arms slightly to show the sixth month old baby girl in his arms.

"Alyona Romane Barton what did I tell you about leaving those big boxes alone?" He cooed as the little girl began to giggle at the sound of her father's voice. Her short blonde curls bounced whilst her father tickled her, and the sound seemed to make Happy's heart melt a little.

"Hate to break-up the family moment Robin Hood, but I'd like to introduce you to my bodyguard slash chauffeur Happy Hogan. Happy, Agent Clint Barton and mine and Pepper's goddaughter Alyona. Green Arrow and Rapunzel, meet the Happ-ster."

Ally laughed happily and began wiggling in Clint's arms until he gently put her down on the floor. She pushed herself up and tottered over to Tony who picked her up and swung her around once before settling her on his hip. Alyona then began to claw at his arm to try and get a grip before she climbed up his side and started pulling Tony's hair.

"Chri-key Barton you training her for spy school already?" Stark winced after Clint's littlest angel delivered another swift kick to the ribs in an attempt to pull herself closer to her uncle's hair.

Clint just laughed in response as he picked up a box labelled "Heavy crap" from beside the sofa.

At that moment, a slender red-head strolled into the room clutching her head in pain.

"Shut up Uncle Tony, my head's pounding already, and I don't want this hangover getting any worse," she moaned.

"Well that's what you get for drinking so much Naddy," Clint smiled in amusement. His grin immediately slid off his face upon seeing his daughter's reaction.

"Green Arrow, why the hell does my seventeen year old niece have a hangover?" Tony growled.

"The wife opened a bottle to remember all the years we've spent living here and to celebrate us moving on, so as a special treat, we let Nadia have some. It was a one-off, so she's not getting anymore 'til she can buy it for herself."

"It still doesn't change the fact that it was Russian vodka," Nadia groaned as she felt pain rush to her temples again.

"Well, it was a bottle your mother had saved from the year we got married, and your body just can't handle liqueur the way mine and your mother's can."

"Urgh..." she sighed in defeat as she slumped onto the sofa and dragged a cream pillow over her head to block-out the light that was streaming in through the windows.

Tony put Alyona down carefully on the floor and began to step over the teddy bears and tea set on the floor to sit down beside the sofa to rub Nadia's back; he'd had his fair share of hangovers when he was only a few years older than she was, so he was trying to show his support by trying to remove the tension she was feeling.

Happy just stared at the girl as a sense of déjà vu started to seep into his brain. The girl may have had her father's blue yes, but her vibrant curled red hair was beginning to make him feel a sense of unease.

Within a minute of being put down, big, fat tears began to pour down Ally's delicate face. Her inherited blue eyes gained a pale red rim and she began to shake uncontrollably.

She began to whimper and her father put the box down gently before sweeping her up into his arms and cradling her against his chest. Her quiet crying then turned into a screaming session as she pounded her tiny fists against her father's broad chest.

Nadia began to yell at her dad, threatening to castrate him if he didn't stop her blubbering, which in turn made her weep even more.

Happy felt the urge to leave the room; he was standing at the edge of the living room by the entrance to the hall when a familiar voice began to echo through the apartment.

"Barton just feed her already!" The feminine voiced shouted.

"I fed her ten minutes ago, and changed her diaper (A/N: Urgh, the American dialect is so ugly, no offence, so it's 'nappy' in my head) ten minutes before that. She's not tired so what the hell am I supposed to do?!" He screeched back.

At that moment, Natalie Rushman strode into the room and swiftly removed the child from Agent Barton's chest and settled her against her own breast. Twenty seconds later, the only sound that came from the baby was a series of sniffles and a yawn.

Tony, Barton and Nadia simultaneously let out sighs of relief.

As the baby Barton drifted off to sleep in the elder of the two red-heads' arms, she stepped gracefully over the three teddy bears and the cuddly black spider and hawk toys to hand the child back over to the archer. Happy should have paid more attention to the situation before.

"I know you're trying Hawkass, but sometimes a little girl just needs her mom," (A/N: MUM !) she whispered as she squeezed his bicep.

Happy visibly deflated and felt like he was trespassing on a private moment.

Natasha leant up on her tiptoes and brushed a stray stand of hair behind her ear before leaning forwards to peck his lips.

Clint smiled and stared unashamedly at her ass as she left the room to attend other matters elsewhere in the home.

"Dad, that's disgusting. I'll be scarred for life. Just don't do that with me in the room. "Beurk, c'est dégoutant, je vous rappelle que he suis là," Nadia whined.

"Nice to see her French lessons being put to good use," Tony snickered.

Nadia just threw a plastic teacup at his head in response to prevent her dad from doing something more drastic. The assassin smiled back at her gratefully, and he began to laugh quietly at Tony's winces every time he touched his forehead.

Four hours later, when everything was stored in the bullet-proof trailer attached to the Barton's atomic bomb-proof Range Rover, Tony was about to climb into his Tesla Roadster when he remembered something.

"Hey Spidey, aren't you forgetting something?"

The stoic assassin just shrugged.

"Let's do a head-count," he stated slowly in an un-Stark-like, creepy, childish voice. "One mamma spider, one daddy bird who's watching over the hatchlings, one teenage ninja Katniss impersonator and a blonde who should be used to make money in commercials (A/N: or adverts). What's missing?"

"Boo!" A young voice called out behind him. Tony jumped a foot out of his seat in a mixture of fear and shock before he turned around slowly to look at the child behind him.

Happy's eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"He was hiding all afternoon in the 'Heavy crap' box waiting to scare his uncle weren't you Josef?"

"Yup," the nine year old agreed as he hauled himself out of the otherwise empty box to jump out of the hot rod red car.

"But-but-" Tony stuttered. Clint just walked over to the stunned billionaire and slapped him - hard - on the back before bending down to kneel in front of the blonde-haired green-eyed boy to whom he gave a high five.

Happy just felt his heart shatter into even tinier pieces when his brain fully realised that Natalie - no Natasha - would never be his.

It was time to move on.


Thanks for reading. I hope you liked the fic. Bye now.