Disclaimer: I'm in no way related to any person to do with the OC-damn!

Summary: A second person POV, ramblings on Julies life set at the wedding.

Rating: PG-13 just to be safe

A/N: I bet you're all thinking "Finally a Julie-centric fic!" Well, OK at least its something different eh?

Thank you: to JaquiJaq-my brilliant beta (I strongly advise you to go read her stuff) and to Josh Schwarz Obviously for creating such a brilliant character, and of course to Melinda Clarke for pulling her off so incredibly well.

You stand in front of the mirror and admire how the red satin dress curves and drapes around you, sexy and sophisticated. The fabric brushes against your skin, smooth and rich. The ring glints in the sunlight pouring through the drapes, classy and expensive. And you think you may finally be getting everything you want: the pearls, the riches, the respect. After years of waiting, years of being married to... him. You never wanted him, really, or never wanted the people; just wanted what they had, and what you didn't.

Or so you try to tell yourself. But the thing is, you can see him happy now, his deep shinning blue eyes, that with you were sunken and hollow; and his smile – God, his smile. You can see who the person you were sixteen years ago fell in love with. Because you did, you let your guard slip, and let him in, and you fell in love with him. Something you swore you'd never do, not with someone like that at any rate, but you thought he was in love with you too. You were blind, until she, her perfection was introduced to you. The way he looked at her when they danced, and the way she looked at him - it was intimate, far too intimate; intimacy is not something that should exist with anyone else on your wedding night. But it did and you knew what you were taking away from him, because of what you were giving him. He had to choose, and he had to choose you, there was no decision. After all, he was Newport's golden boy - a baby out of wedlock - oh no! A marriage would make it look like a planned agreement. If there were a decision, he would have chosen her. Some part of you tried to like her, tried to respect her, but you couldn't. There were always their unspoken feelings that kept pulling you apart. There was always the hidden barrier of jealousy that blocked any effort, any attempt.

It seems to be ironic that you're now going to be marrying her father. Both your husbands would be in love with her, want to love her, only they can't because of her love for one man. You know they're both trying to replace her with you, and you wonder what life would be like if your weren't some form of replacement. Even Luke, dear Luke, was trying to replace your own daughter with you. But you're used to it, it's become a way of life, it's helped include you in the fake, forged atmosphere that cloaks this small town. And you do like it here, even if you weren't given everything you wanted; you were taken from the spoiled dungeons of Riverside by a white knight that offered you jewels and riches, even if he wasn't in love with you, alone.

You look outside the shinning window, watching your an-hour-to-be husband stare out into the depth of the ocean. You can read his vacant expression even from behind all the barriers. You can see the emptiness even before the wedding ring holds the two of you together, and you wonder if you should pull out now, stop from hurting yourself all over again, and just walk away. But you can't, because as much as this place, and the fake outsiders who live in it, hate you, and refuse you complete emergence, you like this place. It feels right that you should be here, even if you're only tied here by an old man and a thin slice of gold.