My eyes scope out the mall's landscape that is decorated in pink for the holiday. This is it, I tell myself, Kurt will finally know. He had every right to know. It really worries that I haven't told him sooner. Why I never thought to mention it to him one of the times at Breadstix, or during one of our two hour long phone conversations. "Kurt," I begin, "there is something I want to tell you and… erh… show you-" I am cut off as John strolls up to us and kisses me on the cheek.

"Hi honey," John chimes while wrapping his arm around my waist. Kurt's new expression says it all. His eyebrows once raised in interest are bunched in confusion. His lips that were previously in a smile are now what seemed to be a hidden frown. Please Kurt, don't make that look. I can't do it. I can't just stand here pretending that John is the only one who makes my heart go weeee. In fact, you make my heart go super-

"This is John," I explain to him. "My lovely boyfriend."

"Oh…," Kurt begins as he looks at us. He's confused. I can tell. I begin to regret telling Wes, David, and everyone else to go wherever they please in the mall as I introduce Kurt to John.

"Kurt," John jumps in, interrupting the silence. That's something I've always fancied about him, breaking the awkward and all. "Blaine has told me so much about you. I feel like I already know you."

"Funny," Kurt says, "he's never told me about you." That stings. I can see how annoyed he is. Whoever said that 'eyes are windows the soul' were too true now. He looks so upset and all I want to do it throw John off me and crush Kurt in a kiss. I want to pin him up against the pillar he is standing in front of and kiss him mercilessly.

"Then we have a lot to talk about," John laughs.

"Yes," I say as I peel John's hand from my waist and tangle it with mine. "Coffee anyone?" They both agree with me. We stroll over to the small coffeehouse near us. It plays Valentine's Day songs as we order. We all sit at a booth and John gets closer to me than I'd appreciate at the moment. I don't have the heart to tell him to move over. I don't have the heart to tell him to do anything that would start conflict which I why I'm in this mess.

Which is why I'm sitting at a very romantic coffeehouse, in the middle of the mall, that is blasting love songs, with the boy who I'm suppose to mentor yet at the same time I constantly fantasize about doing un-mentor-y things with, and a boyfriend who is lovely and gorgeous and funny and sexy and completely oblivious of all the thoughts I'm trying to not think about.

"So," Kurt mumbles. "How'd you two meet?" If this was under and other circumstance I'd jump on this question. It's a hit at parties. Who doesn't want to hear about the romantic and yet funny story of how an improv class brought two gay teens together? It's a real crowd pleaser as we tell about how John asked me out in front of the entire class and how I was ever so happy to accept it. The story is usually accompanied by a 'I love him so much I could never think of being with someone else because he is so wonderful and charming and' other adjectives that do describe how great we think each other are.

If this was a different situation, I'd tell the story in a heartbeat. However, it's not. It's telling the boy I love about how I got together with the boy I also love. John doesn't feel the tension in the conversation and jumps at the opportunity to tell about us.

It is starting to aggravate me how John says us. He exaggerates it as if we are engaged or official. Like we plan to spend our lives together forever. I hope he doesn't feel that way. I obviously don't because if I did I don't think I'd be fighting the urge to kiss Kurt's neck in the middle of this romantic coffeehouse. At least, I hope not.

Kurt acts like he cares. He is really convincing and if I hadn't already seen him care about anything I'd be fooled. I wonder if he took an acting class. I wish he was at that improv class. It probably wouldn't have helped, just made things more difficult faster. Kurt laughs on cue and I do too. We laugh away this tension until Wes and David and everyone appear and save the day. I see Kurt scamper away to Michelle, Wes's current girlfriend as quick as possible. I wish I hadn't invited John. I wish I could tell him to bug off too. I don't want to lose Kurt. I can't lose Kurt.

I've decided it, soon, I will lose John. In the meantime Kurt… I love you.