"Hey," Andrea answered, knowing from her caller ID already who was on the other end.
"Hi," Sharon responded softly, "is this an okay time?"
Andrea chuckled, "Yeah, I'm just lazing around on my couch." She stretched out, the sound of her lover's voice was soothing after the last couple of days that they'd had. "Sharon? You still there?" she asked after a prolonged silence.
"Um, would you mind opening up for me?" Sharon asked sheepishly.
Andrea stared disbelievingly at her door, until she heard Sharon's knock. She opened the door to reveal Sharon Raydor, still dressed impeccably for work, standing on the other side.
"Hi." Sharon held out a bottle of wine, which Andrea took gratefully. Sharon leaned forward for a brief kiss, which Andrea returned happily. "Rusty is at the library for a little bit. He's been a bit reserved since I told him about Daniel yesterday, and I think that he really just needs some space to gather his thoughts, rather than do homework," she said sadly. Andrea nodded her understanding. "So I thought I'd stop by here while I wait for him to finish up," Sharon said brightly.
"You're the only woman I know who'd call while standing right outside of my door," Andrea said, chuckling.
Andrea retrieved two wine glasses from her kitchen and brought them, along with the now uncorked bottle of wine, back into the living room. Sharon kicked off her pumps and made herself comfortable opposite Andrea on the couch. "I didn't want to presume you were free tonight," she responded. Andrea poured them a small amount in each glass and settled them on the coffee table.
"And if I had said that it wasn't a good time?" Andrea asked as she wound an arm around Sharon's waist, pulling her closer. Sharon snuck a sip of wine while they rearranged themselves on the couch so that they were snuggled up in one corner.
"I would have gone back home," she sighed as she leaned into Andrea's embrace. "And enjoyed the wine all by myself after I picked Rusty up."
"Liar," Andrea said teasingly, "you saw my car in the driveway, you knew I was home, and if I'd said to go away you would have known something was wrong and broken the door down."
Sharon tried glaring at her, but gave up and shrugged her shoulders in semi-defeat. "I was worried about you, you've seemed off for two days now, and that's not like you," she said.
Andrea didn't respond, instead she trailed her fingertips up and down the length of Sharon's arm; both women were silently replaying the tragic events of the Barlow case from yesterday in their minds.
"When I saw that boy's tattoo, I thought of John if that had been him on that table…" Sharon trailed off, the thought of her youngest child meeting the same fate as Ben Barlow was far too painful to contemplate out loud.
"When they called me and asked me to come in yesterday, I thought of my sister," Andrea said quietly. Sharon turned in her arms, frowning. "Sandra was kidnapped when she was fourteen. We never found her body, we never found out who took her," she explained.
Suddenly Andrea's uncharacteristically aggressive reaction to Gerald made sense, as well as at times, her standoffish attitude with Rusty. While she always put forth a genuine effort to engage him when the three of them shared a meal, Sharon could always sense a sort of discomfort; she had just assumed that this stemmed from Andrea's inexperience with children. Sharon kicked herself mentally for not piecing it together sooner; this hadn't simply been a tough case, this had been intensely personal to Andrea.
"I am so, so sorry," Sharon said, horrified, "I sent you in there, oh my God, Andrea – "
"You didn't know," Andrea said reassuringly. "I know you'd never do anything like that had you known."
"But I should have known," Sharon insisted. "I could sense that something was off but I didn't ask. I should have asked."
Andrea took a healthy sip from her glass, fiddling with the stem to buy some time; talking about her past, about this was not something she could do easily, even after all of these years.
"I don't like talking about it," she said after some time, "people always expect that you'll eventually get over it, but you can't. My sister was more than just a murder victim, but that's what she'll always be remembered as."
A heavy silence fell between them. Sharon was caught between wanting to give Andrea her space, and wanting to help her talk through her grief. She remembered Rusty's adamant insistence that she not force him to see a psychiatrist following his many months of working the streets. She suspected that Andrea might be equally against talking out loud about her past trauma.
"If you want to, you can tell me about her," Sharon said after a while, hoping that Andrea wouldn't feel pressured either way.
"She was outgoing," Andrea replied quietly. "She loved musical theatre, when we were kids she'd always put on little plays for our parents. She was kind, smart, compassionate." Andrea began trembling and Sharon wrapped her arms around her more securely. "For years I felt like I'd been denied closure because we couldn't have a proper burial, but after yesterday, after seeing the photos of what those men did to Ben, I think, I think that we were lucky not to know. In my mind, she's still fourteen, whole, healthy, and smiling; that's how I'll always get to remember her."
Andrea smiled sadly. "My mother still calls me almost daily and checks up on me, I can't get annoyed with her because I understand. She's already lost one daughter, she wants to make sure that she doesn't lose me," she said.
Sharon kissed the deepening lines in Andrea's forehead and sighed. "Children are the greatest joy and the greatest pain that you could ever experience. You never stop loving them, and you never stop fearing for their safety. With Rusty now, I'm such a nervous wreck. Everyday I fear that he'll run off, or get into another fight, or that Stroh will break free and come after him. And I worry that he'll sense my anxiety and think I am overreacting," she said.
"You're a good mother," Andrea said. "I don't know how or where you find the patience, but I admire you for having such an abundance of it. Rusty is a great kid and he's lucky to be a part of your family."
Sharon was touched by her words and smiled broadly at her.
"Which library is he at?" Andrea asked. She sighed contently as Sharon continued to play with Andrea's hair, running her fingers through the thick waves and depositing kisses along her hairline every so often. The headstrong Captain had been a much-needed constant in her life this past year; Andrea adored her caring nature, and even her incredibly stubborn streak. She was grateful that despite the very full and complex life that Sharon had, she never made Andrea feel like she was second best to anyone, or anything.
"Central Library," Sharon responded. "Why?" Andrea grinned in that way that was clear to Sharon that the blonde was plotting something.
"I know you just got here, but there is a great little desert place a few blocks away, we can pick Rusty up from the library and then all go there." Andrea waggled her eyebrows at her lover. "They make incredible cheesecake," she said suggestively, knowing of Sharon's fondness for the rich desert.
"Huh," Sharon pretended to consider her offer for a moment, "that sounds alright, I suppose," she drawled. But Andrea was already untangling their bodies and dragging Sharon up and off the couch with her.
"Come on," Andrea urged. "You'll love it, so will Rusty, let me take you both out tonight, give both of you a bit of a break."
Sharon was touched by the gesture and allowed Andrea to guide her to their shoes, which lay next to the door. "Thank you for telling me about your sister," she added as Andrea offered Sharon her arm.
Andrea smiled warmly. "Thank you for refusing to let me sit around in an awful mood on my couch tonight." Sharon pulled the younger woman closer to her and kissed her soundly; relief flooded through her as her fingertips caressed the scar on Andrea's upper arm, forged from the bullet that had tried to end her life over one year ago.
As they exited Andrea's townhouse, arm in arm, Sharon said a silent prayer of gratitude for the hundredth time since yesterday that her family was both safe, and within her grasp.
