Although not being my first ever fanfiction, this is my first fanfiction in the Once Upon a Time fandom as well as my first ever story written in English. So please be clement.

I do not own Once Upon a Time. Too bad.


But even if everything else turns to dirt
We'll be the one thing in this world that won't hurt.
I can't fix what's fucked up
But one thing I know I can do
I can be perfect for you

Perfect for You, Next to Normal


After all, Regina Mills was nothing but broken. A woman, having lost control of her life. A mother, craving for the love of her son. Fallen queen, discharged mayor. She had nothing left, nothing to hold on to anymore. Except for grief, of course. Grief, anger and pain had been her companions ever since; the relationship sometimes just hanging loose, acting like acquaintances, but mostly being as close as one could possibly be. They – and people who knew how to use them against her – had made her who she had been, who she probably still was and most likely always would be. A monster. A monster, that had taken hearts just for the hell of it, that had ruined so many lives; including her own. The illusion of the curse giving Regina her happy ending had worn off pretty fast, leaving only emptiness behind. She hurt. And no matter how hard she tried, she could not make it stop.

Alone in her impressive mansion, she was kneeling on the floor of the big entrance hall, not exactly crying, but rather whimpering silently, hands tightly clenched around an old, nagged plush toy. That was all Henry had left behind. All that remained of him. For her, at least. What she had feared since the day a certain blonde, who turned out to be her son's birth mother, had stumbled into her life, had finally and ultimately happened. Henry was gone to live with the Sheriff. Apparently losing her mother – or rather being used to kill her mother – wasn't enough already. Not that she had had a problem with killing someone before. And, granted, Cora had treated her rather poorly her whole life… but she was still her mother. That did not give anyone, especially not her former perfect little stepdaughter Snow White, the right to set her up to murder her own mother. Of course, as always, it all was Snow White's fault. Again, she had somehow managed to take everything Regina held dear away from her. Again, she had successfully ruined Regina's life all the way down to its roots. Suddenly Regina had trouble breathing, trouble not to panic completely. Her brain went blank and all that there was, was fear. Fear of what was going to happen, fear of what she might do; fear of herself.

At first, the sudden knock on the door went unnoticed. It was barely even audible and in her despair she had bigger things to think about right now anyway. It got louder in time, though; more demanding. Regina chose to just ignore it. She was far from being in the mood to wanting to see anyone. "Regina, seriously! Stop playing stupid games and just open the fucking door! I know you are home!" The former queen's jaw tightened as she clenched her teeth. Out of all people she did not want to see – which basically included everyone she had ever gotten to know, right now - this was the person she least desired to. The person, who had just recently quite merely helped with the further destruction of Regina's life and was the one and only reason she lost her son. Never in her life had she met another human being as maladroit, ignorant and basically just head-to-toe dumb as Emma 'idiot' Swan. She could feel the anger boiling in her guts; the anger about how this woman could even dare to show up at her door after what she had done. Most probably she was here to rub the victory right into her face, Regina thought; kicking someone who was already down. Hating Emma all she wanted, she would not have thought of her to be such a person. After all, she was the Savior, the product of true love, good at heart. It disgusted Regina.

She did not hear the footsteps behind her, so she was fairly surprised as she felt strong arms wrapping around her torso. The impulse to scream was there, to send a cry for help; but who would come to rescue her anyway? "I'm right here, everything's alright", Emma's voice said, as she pulled her closer, finally having Regina on her lap, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. Nothing was, though. Five seconds passed without a single word of any of them. All Regina did was close her eyes. The heat radiating from her enemy conquered her, she could smell coffee and earth and sweat; intoxicating. Safe. The scene was almost idyllic. Until the brunette started to fight. Fight against Emma, against their contact, against the intimacy she had allowed herself to savor for only a brief moment, before the Evil Queen kicked in. A sharp elbow hit Emma's ribcage, leaving her breathless for a split-second, a fist missed her jaw by only thousandth of an inch, fingernails left ugly marks on her forearm.

"Regina! What the fuck!?" Emma cried out as she tumbled backwards, falling over and landing right on her derriere. For a moment she just watched the other woman in complete bewilderment. Her slender fists were punching the air around her, her feet kicked in various directions fighting invisible demons. With all that she had, all the strength she could find, she tried to get rid of them, she tried to forget. But she couldn't. She couldn't escape her past, couldn't escape her emotions. When a cry left Regina's mouth, goosebumps crept up the blonde's back. It almost seemed like a cry for help. She needed to be saved. Saved from herself. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined to ever see the former mayor in a state like this; so frail, so deep down vulnerable. It made Emma want to do nothing but protect the picture of misery in front of her.

"I am sorry." Even if Regina heard what Emma said, she did not respond. She just sat on the floor, tears still visible on her cheeks. Emma was not sure what exactly she was sorry about in the first place. That her mother was the reason Cora was dead? That Henry was living with her now? That she had come by to check on Regina not knowing why she had had the urge to do so? Thinking about it, there were a lot of things she didn't know. Why she cared about Regina as much as she did, for example. Or why she felt slaphappy every time the mayor snapped at her or insulted her, even if she should probably be mad or maybe even hurt. And why did she think she knew exactly what was going on in the head of her alleged enemy? That they were much more alike than she had ever thought to be possible. And most likely more than they should be. But that was something Regina did not seem to notice, Emma realized, hopes deceived. Suddenly she felt a slight embarrassment creeping its way up her body, making her as uncomfortable as one could be.

It had been a stupid idea to come here. Of course, Regina wouldn't let her walls down even an inch, especially not in front of her nemesis. Emma wanted to slap herself right in the face for even assuming she might be able to offer the other woman a little bit of comfort. Regina did not long for comfort. She was way too proud; way too scared. It hurt Emma to see her like this. Yes, she was actually fond of the brunette who had cursed a whole world and doomed her to a life in the American Foster System. Though basically that particular detail was solely her parents fault, Emma thought. They could have just kept her, they did not have to send her through that stupid tree stub. Regina, after all, was just lost. Having gone through more pain and misery than someone ever should, she simply did not know another way. Just like Emma. When being forced into a corner, she lost it completely. If only Regina would get that. Emma was not Regina's enemy, she was not here to hurt or humiliate her, she was here to help. To help both, Regina and herself.

"Alright. Apparently you don't feel like talking. Well, whatever then. I know I can't reverse the clock and undo all the shit that happened. But I… I just thought I could help you anyway. I want to help you; because I care about you. You might not believe it, but I get you, y'know. Whatever. It was a stupid thought. Just forget I've even been here…" Since this was a complete catastrophe already, it could not possibly get any worse, Emma figured, so she gathered her courage, leaned forward to invade Regina's personal space once again and gently pressed her dry lips to the brunette's cheek, before she got up, turning to leave. Fighting to feel hurt, she took one step at a time, hoping that Regina might stop her. But she already knew better. This woman's walls were higher than the goddamn Empire State Building. It was not going to happen.

The Sheriff's hand was already at the handle, about to open the big white door, when she felt someone gently tug at the back of her shirt. Instantly, a slight smile made its way to her lips. She slowly turned around, afraid to scare the other woman away; afraid, she might have second thoughts already. For a moment she just looked at her. Even with tears on her cheeks, her eyes puffy from all the crying, she still was the most beautiful person Emma had ever laid eyes on. Hopefully she could somehow manage to make the handsome face lighten up again. "I'm a mess, Emma." Regina whispered, looking right into the beautiful green eyes in front of her, before she finally surrendered and let herself collapse into strong arms which instantly wrapped around her. The blonde's heart actually skipped a beat hearing her first name out of the other woman's mouth. She knew how cheesy it sounded, how cheesy it was, but she just could not help it. All she wanted to do was protect the woman that, anxious and exhausted, clung to her chest; keep all pain and hurt away from her. Hoping it was the right thing to do, she brought her lips to Regina's hairline, hesitating only a second, before she gently pressed them on top. She could feel the body in her embrace distinctly tense and already feared it had been too much.

It had been, apparently, because the brunette started to draw back a little. Although this time she did not exactly fight the contact and instead remained in Emma's embrace, the Sheriff felt a slight disappointment. As always, she expected too much too fast. But that was basically how her whole life went; fast. Most relationships with other people, no matter if platonic or romantic, were over again before they had even begun. And the majority of times it was her fault alone. Because she ran. She had tried to run from Henry as well, to run from Regina, but in the end she had somehow managed not to. Turned out to be one of the best decisions of her life. For a torturously long moment all they did was stand in front of each other, look at each other, understand each other. Until one of Regina's hands made its way up to gently cup Emma's cheek. She leaned into the touch, savored it, afraid it might be over any second. But it wasn't. Instead, the former queen first took a breath, then a step forward, before slowly bringing her lips to the other woman's. The kiss was careful and coy; perfect.