Roger, the persuasive corrosive charismatic caustic bubbling mass that he was, was strolling down the corridor on his way to the rose garden to meet his beloved. He liked the red roses best. They reminded him of bloo- uh, roses!
For no reason, Kel decided that herself and Roger were not properly acquainted. She decided to fix this fact. "Oh Roger," Kel exclaimed in a tone that was just right to use when exclaiming something. " I do not believe you and I are properly acquainted."
"Such a surprise to see you here my daring!" he cried with almost no hint of malice in his voice (quite a feat for one such as he!).
"Oh can the carp sugar plum, lets get it up!" Kel cried with excitement!
Squelch! The heel of Kel's dainty slipper connected with one of the many snails that inhabited the rose garden. Wiping her shoe on the grass, Kel turned to Roger, "do you not think it obvious what should happen now?'
"Germany? Are you mad?" Kel shook her head. "Anyway, look! I got these for you!"
Roger really looked quite smashing in his brand spankin' new glittery thong. "Oh yeah!" he cried in exultation. "So hot right now!"
Roger stared blankly for a moment. "Hey! A Butterfly! I like butterflies do you?"
Roger looked up from his scrutiny of Kel's hot, hot bod. "Wow, look! A TRUCK!" Every boy loves trucks, especially more than partially insane aspiring egotistical dictators. But even more than partially insane aspiring egotistical dictators need pretty things…
Half way through braiding several pretty roses through his hair, Roger remembered the other pretty thing he was really there for.
Kel stared pensively at Roger for a moment, "do you not think it odd that until now, we have never been aquatinted?"
Yes, the desire for lustabation really was too much to take, and before long Roger and Kell were once again all over each other. Hurriedly, Kel broke away.
"We can't keep seeing each other like this!" she whispered. "After all, you're old enough to be my grandfather, and you're dead!"
"In answer to your earlier question Keladry, no I do not think it odd that we have never been acquainted before. This is due mainly to the fact that for most of your life I have been dead. In fact," Roger stared at his mouldy yellow hand. "I should be dead right now. How very odd…"
"Here," there was a softly seducing note in his low cal dressing voice. "For later, in your… bed…"
"Farwell, my erotic mammoth," Kel whipered, and with a swift parting kick, they left, never to see each other again. And the world lived happily ever after, for they had no children.
A/N: Not as good as Under the Bedcovers, sorry Doctor. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!
