Look
by: gkeeper91
Disclaimer: This story is based on the anime show Kyou Kara Maou, which in turn is based from the series of light novels created by Tomo Takabayashi. Only the ideas – and some original characters – contained within this story are the property of the author.
A/N: Damien Schwarz is an original character who appeared in my first story, Soul Hunters. The story below follows the progression of events in Soul Hunters, continuing until the part where both Saralegui and Damien leave Shin Makoku.
Warning: Shounen-ai, Saralegui-centric, Strictly DLDR (Don't like, Don't read.)
Damien first heard of the young king of Shou Shimaron from his uncle – Greyheim Schwarz – who exceeded himself by using choice descriptions and swear words that had not been heard of in a million years, much less used so liberally on the ruler of a neighboring country. Damien could not remember everything now, but he did recall that the most polite of the descriptions were the words "bastard" and "manipulative freak."
The source of his uncle's irritation was clear – after days of careful deliberation about whether they ought to take a shot at visiting Shin Makoku to attempt to gain the Maou's support, news had reached them that King Saralegui of Shou Shimaron had also decided to do the same. Greyheim had nearly executed a trembling messenger, who admitted under intense interrogation that someone might have intercepted their letter to the demon kingdom's ruler. It was only Damien's timely intervention that saved the messenger's head from parting completely from his body.
Damien considered everything to be a waste of time. Although he had made it clear from the start that he did not want the throne of Dai Shimaron, his uncle had made it apparent that he did not care what Damien wanted. Damien was there as a front, a mere puppet to satisfy the Dai Shimaron noblemen while Greyheim continues to pull the strings from the shadows. It was not a very appealing set-up, but Damien had no choice.
"Come with me, and I will not let anyone know about what happened that night," Greyheim had said. "Once we have the throne, I will let you off the deal."
It was embarrassing to be blackmailed by somebody like Greyheim, but after weighing the pros and cons of the situation, Damien thought that he might as well give in. At least for the moment. Maybe something will happen along the way. Maybe something or somebody will eventually foil Greyheim's plans.
Damien found himself wishing that this bastard of a king whom his uncle kept talking about would do the foiling for him. If he was as cunning as his uncle made him out to be, then perhaps he could do something to gain the throne at the soonest possible time. Then Damien would be off the hook.
That did not happen though, as Damien found himself at the heart of the demon kingdom some days later. They were told that the Maou was not around, and between waiting for the Mazoku king's arrival and listening to everyone else around him scheme and plot of ways to further their own political agenda, Damien was left with nothing to do but roam the castle grounds.
It was then that he finally met him. Saralegui.
The Shou Shimaron king was seated in a stone bench near the castle gardens, an open book on his lap. A tall man, whom Damien assumed to be the king's bodyguard, stood vigilantly a few steps behind. As he drew near, the bodyguard's eyes quickly shifted to him, and Damien felt a chill run through his spine. The man eyes were sharp as a hunter's, and in that brief second of scrutiny, Damien felt as if the man had just assessed how best to kill him should he try anything untoward against his charge.
"Belias," Saralegui chided, as though he knew what exactly passed inside his bodyguard's mind. He smiled and said without even sparing Damien a glance. "Don't mind him. He looks harmless."
Harmless. Damien narrowed his eyes at the word, remembering a spate of similar comments from a long-forgotten life, when his parents were still alive and he was still one of the princes of Dai Shimaron.
"Prince Maximilian rode out to battle the other night…"
"I heard Prince Damien wanted to go too…"
"Prince Damien? He cannot even hold a sword properly!"
"Yeah, I've seen the kid in combat. He's pretty much—"
"—harmless? I thought so too. So unlike his brother at all…"
Damien could remember listening to such types of conversations, getting frustrated each time, knowing that at the end, everyone would just start talking about his brother. Nobody, not even his parents, even so much as looked at him whenever his brother was around. For the most part of his childhood, Damien could remember lurking in the shadows, watching his parents and everyone else fawn over his elder brother, thinking, "Look at me. Look at me. If you could all just look at me…"
But nobody ever did.
Damien shoved all those memories to the back of his mind, held his nose up high, and marched away. From that moment, he decided that he did not like the Shou Shimaron king at all.
A day later, they received word that the Maou had arrived, and it was at Shinou's Temple that Damien encountered Saralegui again. Only a few people were allowed inside the sacred place – Saralegui and his bodyguard, Damien and his uncle, and a group of the Maou's closest friends and advisors.
Damien crossed his arms sullenly, mutely bemoaning the wait. Didn't Greyheim have any sense of self-respect left at all? Didn't he realize that being at the beck and call of the ruler of another country was demeaning?
Then he heard Saralegui's voice.
"I am so glad that you managed to come, Lord Greyheim."
"I am too," said Greyheim with a slight sneer. "You will not win here."
"Indeed?" said Saralegui, smiling a little. "Yuuri considers me a friend, if you must know…"
And that was when it hit Damien. In Saralegui's mind, he was not competing with Damien at all, but with Greyheim rather. Damien was nothing but a pawn, completely negligible and – to use the Shou Shimaron king's own word – totally harmless.
Although Damien knew that that was exactly what he was, it was unbearable to know that the enemy – his rival for the Dai Shimaron throne – knew it too, and even brazenly flaunted that knowledge in front of his face. It was infuriating, the way that Saralegui disregarded his presence, not even according him a second look.
'Look at me,' Damien thought with growing anger. 'Could you just look at me!'
He was so overcome with resentment that when Saralegui finally turned to offer him a smile, Damien could only see pity and condescendence in that gesture. He scowled in return.
Damien's next encounter with the Shou Shimaron king happened at dinner, later that night. He was already in a sour mood, having been literally dragged into the lavish dining area by his uncle's men, and he was not at all inclined to make small talk or even eat.
Damien found that glowering at the Shou Shimaron king was as good a pastime as any, and for the duration of the dinner, he did nothing but that. Saralegui seemed initially confused at all this animosity directed at him, but he seemed to have gotten used to it in a few minutes. He ignored Damien's glares and focused all his attention at the Maou.
In the end, Damien guessed that it was inevitable that the evening culminated into a bitter exchange of words between him and Saralegui. The latter kept his composure for the most part, and this only spurred Damien on, eventually pulling out the greatest insult he could think of – half-breed.
It worked, and Damien enjoyed a few minutes of vindictive delight at the expression of hurt on the king's face. Damien had known everything about Saralegui's lineage from Greyheim's tirades, and although he felt guilty for using it now, it did not overcome his anger at his own helplessness – at being forced to stay in the one place in the world that he did not want to be in right then.
Damien had had enough.
"I'm going back to Dai Shimaron," he declared, much to everyone's surprise, and the childish part of him rejoiced at all the attention. He marched out of the room without further ado.
He should have known that fate had other plans for him.
Overall, it was a very eventful night, for it was then that he met Wolfram. He had seen the Maou's fiancé before, and though Damien noted that the boy was indeed as beautiful as the rumors indicated, he was none too impressed. Saralegui was also beautiful in his own right, but well…beauty in itself should not be a measure of a man's worth.
Perhaps that was the very reason why he immediately felt drawn to Wolfram. The boy had saved him from that rampaging dragon. He had looked at Damien as if his life was worth saving.
As though Damien meant something.
He should have known that Wolfram had done everything he did with the Maou's approval in mind. Damien eventually realized it, but by then, he had fallen way too far for any hope of recovery. And besides, his uncle agreed. Greyheim, who had expressly forbidden him to strike any sort of relationship with anyone, had egged him on, telling him to stay close to the Maou's fiancé.
And Damien obeyed. Damien adored Wolfram. After all, it had been so long since someone had given him so much attention – so much understanding. And although it was clear that the boy was only offering him his friendship, Damien could not stop himself from hoping for something more.
Of course nothing else happened. Even after Wolfram fell ill, even after their unprecedented journey out of Shin Makoku together, even after everything…the boy only had eyes for one person. That person he had accidentally been engaged to. The Maou.
Damien remembered stealing glances at Wolfram every now and then, thinking those same words – Please look at me –over and over, the plea reverberating inside his head like some desperate mantra. Indeed there were moments when Damien thought that Wolfram almost looked at him in the way that he had always hoped he would, but those instances were relatively few and far in between, and in the end, Wolfram still chose the Maou.
Damien knew when to give up, and when that moment finally came, he did so with a very minimal feeling of antipathy. Somehow, at the end of it all, he was happy for Wolfram. And consequently, he could be happy for the Maou.
Damien decided then that he would do everything to ensure that Wolfram would remain happy, so much so that he actually plucked the courage to confront Saralegui and warn him to stay away. The Shou Shimaron king had looked at him with a rather amused expression, and Damien was suddenly struck by the fact that this was the first time that Saralegui had looked at him – really looked at him. And what was more, behind the sheen of the latter's eyes, Damien saw respect.
Damien felt…satisfied. Glad even. It was confusing to feel that much about such a simple gesture, but Damien rather enjoyed being noticed. Especially by one who has such a discriminating taste in the people that he keeps company. One like Saralegui.
Since then, Damien found himself looking at Saralegui in return, and he started noticing small things that did not register into his brain before. He started seeing compassion behind the young king's overflowing sense of ambition, loneliness behind all the arrogance, and a strong desire to be accepted behind that indomitable façade of indifference.
Damien looked, and to his surprise, he found that he understood Saralegui more than he had ever understood anybody else. Understanding bred tolerance, and tolerance led to acceptance, and acceptance paved the way for an unusual alliance. Alliance gave way to friendship, and now friendship had led to—
A war erupted, leaving no time for Damien to examine his feelings.
With Wolfram and the Maou busy with their own affairs, Damien found himself spending more and more time with the Shou Shimaron king. By then, he had gotten a clear understanding of Saralegui's moods and behaviors, and in due time, he found the boy's company much more tolerable than before – enjoyable even. It wasn't long before he started entertaining the idea that perhaps…they could be good together. But he scrapped the thought, knowing that there was no space in Saralegui's life for someone like him.
The days that followed were pure chaos. Wolfram was brought back from the battlefield, wounded and unconscious, and Damien decided that he could not just watch him waste away. He needed to do something.
He wasn't able to see Saralegui much after that. He only saw him once, talking to the Maou, and the expressions on the two boys' faces gave Damien pause. He knew that Saralegui had feelings for the Maou, and for a fleeting moment as he looked at the two, he felt like he was dealing with Wolfram all over again. How did he manage to end up being attracted to people who were clearly after somebody else? After the same person in fact.
Damien stopped, shocked at his own feelings. Wait a second…attracted?
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts after that, that what happened next took him completely by surprise. Saralegui withdrew his candidacy. The ambitious king actually gave up his claim on the throne of Dai Shimaron.
Damien was stunned. He could not believe it. More than anybody else, he understood the repercussions of what Saralegui had done. Saralegui had just given up a portion of a long-held dream, just for him. For Damien.
Damien ran up to the boy afterwards, asking anxiously, "Are you sure about this? Haven't you always wanted to—?"
Saralegui cut him off, "Rebuilding two territories in the next year is too much work. I don't have time for that."
It was a pragmatic reason, one that held a lot of logic, but Damien knew somehow that it was just a front. Besides, he could clearly see the real reason in the other boy's eyes.
Damien laughed. "Of course you don't."
Saralegui looked away, but as he turned, Damien could have sworn that he was smiling.
When it was time to leave Shin Makoku, Damien felt very reluctant to go. He had already bade farewell to Wolfram and Yuuri, and while looking at the two of them together still evoked a twinge of pain somewhere inside Damien's chest, he knew that giving up was the right thing to do.
No, if he were to be honest with himself, what was bothering him was the fact that he had to say goodbye to Saralegui too. He did not even know whether he was going to see the other king again. And if he does see him…what then? They were…what were they? Friends? Sort of?
They did have an alliance together, along with Yuuri, but that did not say anything much. They were about to go off their separate ways, but Damien remained troubled by the fact that he did not know where he stood in Saralegui's life.
Wolfram's suggestion kept intruding into his thoughts too:
"If unifying Shimaron is the problem, marriage between the rulers is as effective as any."
The more that Damien thought about it, the more that the he found the prospect quite…appealing. It will definitely put an end to all their political dilemmas, plus Saralegui would finally get his wish of a united country.
As soon as he thought that, Damien's face fell at the realization that Saralegui would never agree to such a petty arrangement just to acquire Dai Shimaron. He had made it clear, hadn't he, that he might try to take Dai Shimaron again? Which goes without saying that he could, anytime he wanted to.
"Heika?"
A voice interrupted his ruminations. Damien turned towards the speaker and saw that it was the captain of the ship.
"We are ready."
They are leaving. He is leaving. For Dai Shimaron. For his kingdom.
Damien dawdled by the plank, making up all sorts of excuses inside his head to delay his departure even just for a little while. But everyone was looking at him, waiting, and reluctantly, he took a step towards the vessel, half-glancing at the Shou Shimaron delegation at the opposite end of the port. There was no sign of Saralegui.
"You're not leaving without saying goodbye, are you?"
Saralegui's voice stopped him on his tracks. He whirled around, determined – but failing – not to look so eager. The Shou Shimaron king was smiling at him.
Damien grinned, not exactly knowing what to say. He almost blurted out that he had been looking out for the latter the entire morning, but he decided that it sounded too embarrassing. In the end, he settled with, "You're here."
Saralegui extended his hand. "I wanted to see you off. I guessed that we might not be able to see each other as much, and I just want to wish you the best of luck."
It was all so formal, so polite. Quite exactly the sort of thing that you would hear from a monarch bidding goodbye to another. Damien, however, knew better. He took the proffered hand in both of his and shook it warmly.
"Thank you." Thank you for entrusting Dai Shimaron to me.
"You're welcome. Please do extend my warmest regards to the people of Dai Shimaron."
"Of course. I shall let them know." I will try my best to be a good king. I won't fail my country again. Won't fail my people. Won't fail myself. Won't fail you.
"It was truly a pleasure. Making your acquaintance."
"It was my pleasure too." I've learned so much from you. And…I really liked being with you.
Slowly, Saralegui took back his hand. He was quiet for a moment, then he said, "Goodbye then…Heika."
Damien nodded. "Goodbye. I wish you the best too…Heika." I wish I could see you again.
Standing by the prow of the vessel some minutes later, Damien looked back at the harbor. Saralegui remained standing where he left him, the wind blowing against his face, his long hair flying behind him like a golden banner, his face half-hidden by the glare of the sun…
He was talking to Belias, his expression almost…sad. Damien clasped the wooden railings of the ship, and unintentionally whispered under his breath:
"Look at me…"
Damien could have sworn that Saralegui heard him, for at that exact moment, the boy turned and met his eyes. Damien waved, not caring that he looked incredibly foolish and decidedly un-king-like. Saralegui seemed bemused, then pleased, then…embarrassed? But after a pause, he raised his hand and returned the gesture.
Damien looked and looked, finding himself unable to turn away.
Saralegui first heard of his would-be opponent for the throne of Dai Shimaron from Belias, who exceeded himself by giving a long, rather insipid account of the said opponent's disastrous childhood. Saralegui could not remember everything now, but what struck him the most then were the words "orphan" and "reluctant candidate."
The source of Belias' obvious disapproval in the matter was clear – it was simply because he did not see much sense in following the Dai Shimaron candidate right into Shin Makoku. Though he might not admit it, Saralegui knew that his uncle-cum-bodyguard trusted the Mazoku, but it was a bit of a stretch to ask him to trust the politicians from Dai Shimaron as well.
From the start, Saralegui had made it clear that he wanted the throne of Dai Shimaron. He wanted everyone to recognize him as the rightful ruler – that the land was his by virtue of his lineage.
"You have to be careful," Belias had warned. "Everyone knows by now that you have Shinzoku blood in your veins."
It was truly problematic to be burdened by that fact, but after weighing the pros and cons of the situation, Saralegui thought that he might as well use that to his advantage. At least for the moment. Maybe something will change along the way. Maybe humans will learn to accept half-breeds like him to rule over the entire Shimaron territories. The Mazoku had accepted a half-human for a king, hadn't they?
Saralegui found himself wishing that this reluctant candidate that Belias had told him about would just give up without a fight. If he was as unwilling as his uncle made him out to be, then perhaps he could just retract his candidacy at the soonest time possible. Then Saralegui need not go through all these political nonsense.
That did not happen though, as Saralegui found himself at the capital of the demon kingdom some days later. Yuuri was not around, possibly still in the other world, so Saralegui spent all his free moments lounging by the gardens of Blood Pledge Castle, waiting, passing the time by reading a book.
It was there that he finally met him. Lord Damien Schwarz.
The Dai Shimaron candidate was roaming the castle with a pitiful number of guards, a sullen look permanently stuck on his face. Saralegui had seen the boy from a distance, and he was quickly struck by the latter's youth and the fact that his entire body language screamed with the wish to get away from everything.
Saralegui returned his attention to his book. Some time later, he felt Belias tense beside him and guessing what had caused his guard to react that way, he quickly said in reprimand, "Belias. Don't mind him. He looks harmless."
Harmless. Saralegui did not know what made him say that word, but it unintentionally conjured images of a long-forgotten existence, when his father was still alive and he was still living the life of a sheltered prince.
"Saralegui-sama is so beautiful, isn't he?"
"He must have gotten that from his mother…"
"I think so too. The king isn't much of a looker after all…"
"Hey! At least our king is strong and powerful. Saralegui-sama is so delicate. He looks pretty much—"
"—harmless? I thought so too. So unlike his father at all…"
Saralegui could remember listening to such types of comments, feeling so inadequate that the people around him thought that he could never measure up to his father. For his part, his father never so much as looked at him. The kingdom always took precedence in his father's book, and for the most part of his childhood, Saralegui could remember watching the man quietly from his corner, wishing, "Look at me. Look at me. If you could just look at me…"
But his father rarely did.
Saralegui resurfaced from this wave of memories, suddenly aware of Damien Schwarz's sigh of disgust, followed by the sound of the boy's boots against the pavement as he stalked away. From what he saw, Saralegui decided that the Dai Shimaron candidate was not a threat to him at all.
A day later, they received word that Yuuri had arrived, and it was at Shinou's Temple that Saralegui encountered Damien Schwarz again. There were only a few people inside, all standing by the fountain with various degrees of anticipation.
Saralegui readied himself for Yuuri's arrival, silently rehearsing how to keep the Maou away from Greyheim Schwarz's clutches.
He turned to the man.
"I am so glad that you managed to come, Lord Greyheim."
"I am too," answered Greyheim with a slight sneer. "You will not win here."
"Indeed?" He couldn't help but smile. "Yuuri considers me a friend, if you must know…"
Saralegui liked to taunt his opponents, but he did not bother to do the same for Damien Schwarz. He knew that he was not competing with the boy at all, having realized from the very beginning that it was Greyheim who was truly pulling the strings from the shadows.
Saralegui turned his attention back to the fountain, where Yuuri emerged along with the Great Sage, both boys panting slightly from the lack of air. Yuuri greeted everyone with his usual cheerfulness, and while his retainers crowded around him, Saralegui stepped forward, trying to make himself as visible as possible.
'Look here,' Saralegui thought, 'Look at me.'
Yuuri finally noticed him and the boy beamed at him, clearly pleased. Saralegui smiled in return. Two intensely resentful pairs of eyes suddenly bore into his face – Wolfram von Bielefeld's and Greyheim Schwarz's. Saralegui couldn't have cared less.
Saralegui's next encounter with the Dai Shimaron representative happened at dinner, later that night. The boy was regarding everyone with a sour expression, his stormy face a clear indication that he did not want to be there.
The Dai Shimaron representative glowered at him for the duration of the dinner, and although Saralegui was initially confused, he decided to disregard it in the end and instead opted to focus all his attention at the Maou.
Saralegui was not really expecting the evening to end in a heated argument between him and Damien Schwarz, but that was exactly what happened. He could not even understand what he had done to evoke such intense dislike from the other boy, so severe that the latter actually had the gall to utter that word – half-breed.
Saralegui was not expecting that from the person that he had initially thought as non-threatening. The boy appeared as though he even enjoyed watching Saralegui's pained expression.
Saralegui had had enough.
"I'm going back to my room, Yuuri," he said quietly, and the selfish part of him briefly rejoiced at the worried look on the Maou's face. He exited the room, his retainers trailing behind him, thinking that he could perhaps get back at the Dai Shimaron representative tomorrow.
He should have known that fate had its own plan.
It turned out to be a very eventful night. Apparently, Damien Schwarz had attempted to leave Blood Pledge Castle and was thwarted when his carriage was attacked by a dragon. What was more surprising was the news that it was Lord von Bielefeld who saved the Dai Shimaron candidate's life.
Saralegui then saw Damien Schwarz's fascination towards Yuuri's fiancé, and he knew that instant that his stay at Blood Pledge Castle would turn out to be very interesting. He understood Damien's situation very well, having been there before. Saralegui himself had been fascinated with Shibuya Yuuri. Still is. The Maou had saved him after all. He had looked at him as if his life was worth saving.
As though despite his faults, Saralegui meant something.
He should have known better than to allow his feelings to get the best of him. Saralegui knew – even if Yuuri did not – that the latter had already fallen for Lord von Bielefeld. The boy just didn't realize it at the time.
But Saralegui allowed himself to hope. He liked Yuuri. The boy was one of the few who had given him so much attention – so much understanding. And although it was clear that Yuuri was already starting to come to terms with his feelings towards his accidental fiancé, Saralegui could not stop himself from thinking that something more could happen.
But of course nothing else did. Even after Lord von Bielefeld's flagrant display of affection for Damien Schwarz, even after the two left Shin Makoku together, even after everything…Yuuri only had eyes for one person. That person he had accidentally been engaged to. Lord von Bielefeld.
Saralegui remembered stealing glances at Yuuri every now and then, thinking those same words – Look at me –over and over, the entreaty echoing inside his head like some cry for help. There were moments when Saralegui thought that Yuuri almost looked at him in the way that he had always hoped he would, but those instances were relatively few and far in between, and in the end, Yuuri still chose Lord von Bielefeld.
Saralegui could recognize defeat when he is confronted with it, but his innate stubbornness just wouldn't allow him to give up without a fight. Somehow, he could not just watch the man he loved pursue somebody else. At least not without trying again.
Saralegui decided then that he would try – for the last time. Getting the opportunity was difficult, but to his surprise, it did come. That one peaceful night in Yuuri's world, when the Maou had fallen asleep between Damien and him on the kitchen table, when Damien had confronted him and warned him to stay away from Yuuri and Lord von Bielefeld… Saralegui had taken his chance, just barely admitting out loud that he was – and still is –in love with Yuuri.
As soon as Damien left, Saralegui sat by the table, waiting. But after a few disappointing minutes, he pushed his chair back and left. He had known all along that Yuuri was still awake, and that the boy had heard the entirety of his and Damien's conversation. Saralegui wanted to see whether the other king would have any reaction now that he knew that Saralegui had feelings for him. To his disappointment, Yuuri did not even stir.
Since then, Saralegui put all his efforts into shifting his attention away from Yuuri. Damien Schwarz was conveniently beside him, and through constant exposure, he found himself looking… Suddenly, Saralegui started seeing kindness in the boy's reluctance to seek any sort of political position, warmth behind all the moodiness, and a strong desire to prove himself behind all that layer of insecurity.
Saralegui looked, and to his surprise, he found that he liked Damien more than he had ever liked anybody else in his life. Liking bred patience and patience led to curiosity, and curiosity paved the way for an unprecedented alliance. Alliance gave way to friendship. And now friendship was leading to—
A war erupted, redirecting Saralegui's focus to the welfare of his country.
With Yuuri and Lord von Bielefeld busy with their own affairs, Saralegui found himself spending more and more time with the Dai Shimaron candidate. He had stopped guessing how the boy seemed to easily cater to his moods, and eventually he began to crave for the boy's company. It wasn't long before he started entertaining the idea that perhaps…they could be good together. But he scrapped the thought, knowing that there was no space in Damien's life for someone like him.
The days that followed were pure chaos. Lord von Bielefeld was brought back from the battlefield, wounded and unconscious, and Saralegui had to step back and watch while both Yuuri and Damien fussed over him.
He wasn't able to see Damien much after that. He only saw him once, by Lord von Bielefeld's bedside, and the expression on the boy's face was enough to give Saralegui pause. He knew that Damien still harbored feelings for the injured fire Mazoku, and for a fleeting moment as he looked at the two, Saralegui felt like he was dealing with Yuuri all over again. How did he end up being attracted to people who were clearly after somebody else? After the same person in fact.
Saralegui stopped, discomfited at his own feelings. Attracted?
He had no time to dwell upon that. He had a brewing rebellion among the Dai Shimaron soldiers to quell, and he knew just how to stop that. He talked to Yuuri and discussed his plans.
And so Saralegui withdrew his candidacy, giving up his claim on the throne of Dai Shimaron. Damien looked stunned at this. He looked like he could not believe it. Saralegui couldn't either. Why did he give up a portion of his dreams just for this boy? For Damien?
A few minutes later, Saralegui saw Damien running up to him. "Are you sure about this? Haven't you always wanted to—?"
Saralegui quickly interrupted, "Rebuilding two territories in the next year is too much work. I don't have time for that."
It was a good enough reason, and Saralegui convinced himself that that was the real reason. But Damien seemed to see right through him.
The boy laughed. "Of course you don't."
Saralegui turned away to hide a smile.
When it was time to leave Shin Makoku, Saralegui felt quite hesitant to go. He had already said his farewell to Yuuri and his fiancé, and while looking at the two of them together still evoked a twinge of pain somewhere inside Saralegui's chest, he decided that maybe it was for the best.
Right now, if he were to be honest with himself, what was bothering him more was the fact that he had to say goodbye to Damien too. It troubled him to have to cut off everything between them just when they had started to… Started to what exactly…?
They did have an alliance together, along with Yuuri, but that did not say anything much. How does Damien see him, really…?
That thing Damien said back at the other world – Lord von Bielefeld's suggestion apparently – kept intruding into his thoughts too:
"Wolfram just said that…marriage between the rulers is as effective as any to unite Shimaron."
The more that Saralegui thought about it, the more that the he found the prospect quite…alluring. It will definitely put an end to all his problems with regard to politics. Plus, he would finally get his wish of a united country.
As soon as he thought that, Saralegui felt a bitter feeling at the back of his throat. How could he have thought – much less considered – to resort to such a petty arrangement just to acquire Dai Shimaron? What was wrong with him?
"Heika?"
Belias' voice interrupted his musing. Saralegui inclined his head slightly.
"The Dai Shimaron ship is leaving."
They are leaving. Damien was leaving. For Dai Shimaron. For the kingdom that he had given up.
Making up his mind, Saralegui strode towards the Dai Shimaron ship, thankful when he saw that Damien had not boarded yet. The boy seemed to be hesitating.
Saralegui stopped a few paces away and called out, "You're not leaving without saying goodbye, are you?"
Damien whirled around, his face suddenly eager. Saralegui felt himself smiling at that.
Damien smiled back, seeming to grope for words. He opened and closed his mouth without saying anything, and in the end, he simply stated the obvious, "You're here."
Saralegui extended his hand. "I wanted to see you off. I guessed that we might not be able to see each other as much, and I just want to wish you the best of luck."
Okay, that was acceptable. Saralegui kept his tone formal, aware of the many people who were watching them, who were listening to every word. For a second, he thought that Damien might not be able to see through that, but the smile on the boy's face told him otherwise. Damien stepped forward, clasping his hand in both of his.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Please do extend my warmest regards to the people of Dai Shimaron." You better not mess anything up after all the trouble I've gone through…
"Of course. I shall let them know."
"It was truly a pleasure. Making your acquaintance." Thank you for your company. For a Ryuzoku, you're not half as bad.
"It was my pleasure too."
Slowly, Saralegui took back his hand. The warmth of Damien's palms lingered upon his own, and he savored the feeling for a moment before saying, "Goodbye then…Heika." I hope to see you again.
Damien nodded. "Goodbye. I wish you the best too…Heika."
Watching the ship sail away some minutes later, Saralegui kept his eyes on the figure standing by the prow. Damien seemed to be squinting towards the skies, the wind playing against his hair, his face radiant against the sunlight…
"You'll see him again," Belias said, catching his attention. Saralegui nodded, then the wind blew against his face and he thought he heard a whisper.
"Look at me…"
Saralegui could have sworn that it was Damien's voice, and at that exact moment that he turned back to the ship, he found Damien's eyes on him. The boy waved, looking so incredibly childlike as he did so, leaning excitedly against the railing. Saralegui felt slightly apprehensive, then happy, then he felt the blood rising to his cheeks. What on earth was the boy doing? But then Saralegui decided that he did not care, and after a beat, he raised his hand and waved back.
Saralegui watched until the ship was reduced into a tiny dot on the horizon, finding himself completely unable to turn away.
They saw each other much earlier than either of them anticipated, in a gathering in Caloria a few weeks later. It was Lady Flynn's birthday, but as to be expected, the entire occasion radiated with a political undercurrent. In the past, Caloria had been oppressed by both Shou Shimaron and Dai Shimaron that it came as a big shock to most that the rulers of the said countries were even invited to the gathering.
Damien took everything in stride. Aware of Belal and Ranjeel's several attempts to subjugate this small territory, especially during that entire debacle involving the Forbidden Boxes, he knew that the burden to set the people's minds at ease lay upon his shoulders. He immediately approached Lady Flynn.
The ruler of Caloria was both gracious and polite, citing that one of the primary reasons why she was willing to meet with him was because of the Maou.
"Yuuri…?" Damien asked, a little confused.
"I invited him of course," said Lady Flynn with a fond smile, "But it appears that he could not leave his kingdom just yet. He did ask me, however, if I could extend my invitation to some friends of his." She gave Damien an appraising look. "And he mentioned you among others."
Damien nodded. It was clear from her tone that she did not trust him, at least not yet. But like so many others who knew the Maou, she was willing to give Damien a chance just because Shibuya Yuuri asked her to.
"Maou-Heika said," continued Lady Flynn, "that you are different from your predecessors. I have the highest regard for the Maou, and I have faith in his assessment of people…"
"Thank you," said Damien, smiling. "I appreciate that you have taken the risk to meet me…"
Lady Flynn laughed. "Inviting you wasn't that big of a risk when compared to inviting him…"
Damien followed the woman's eyes, and for a brief moment, the world seemed to stop. Saralegui had just walked into the ballroom, looking no different from the last time that Damien had seen him. The Shou Shimaron king was clad in a pure white ensemble, a fur-lined cape draped loosely around his shoulders, his hair piled up on top of his head, some stray blond strands falling right below his left ear…
Saralegui turned, and their eyes met. Both smiled.
"I have to welcome him properly," Lady Flynn said to excuse herself. "Please enjoy your evening."
For the most part of the night, Damien did an obligatory round of the room, talking to the Calorian people, being as charming and non-intimidating as he could, trying to set an image apart from those of his predecessors'. Hours later, when he felt as if he had already done his duty, he retired to a secluded corner of the ballroom, drinking his wine in peace.
Saralegui was not around, and Damien wondered for a moment whether the boy had already left. He was pleasantly surprised however, when he heard the latter's voice.
"Enjoying the party?"
Damien turned, finding that Saralegui had joined him in his small, sheltered corner. The boy stood next to him, their elbows barely touching.
Just like that moment when they had said their goodbyes in the harbor of Shin Makoku, Damien wanted to say that he had been looking for Saralegui ever since the evening began. And just like that moment in the demon kingdom's harbor, all he said in the end was, "You're here."
Saralegui smiled. "I had to come. It's a rare opportunity to size up how Caloria had improved since the previous year…" And besides, I wanted to see you…
"Don't say things like that in public," answered Damien, frowning a little. "That might give people the idea that you're plotting something against them. This is precisely why you don't have a very good reputation." I wanted to see you too…
The other boy shrugged. "Perhaps. But I do not really care at this point. Besides, my alliance with Yuuri already did wonders for my so-called reputation. I know I would not have been invited here if it weren't for that…" How…quaint of you to worry about that…
"I wouldn't have been invited too if it weren't for Yuuri. I wonder how he and Wolf are doing…" Yuuri huh? So you still think about him…?
Saralegui averted his eyes to the ceiling. "They're fine, I guess. Otherwise, we would have heard something by now. They're quite the couple of the moment." Lord von Bielefeld huh? So you still worry about him…?
Damien stared down at his feet. "I heard they're getting married." We really don't stand a chance now.
His companion answered quietly, "I heard too." I guess we never had one in the first place…
They fell silent, both staring elsewhere. It was amazing how the events of the previous months brought them together. It was even more amazing to think that he could not even tolerate being within breathing distance of the Shou Shimaron king before, and now…here he was…
After a time, Damien deemed it safe to glance back at the boy beside him, wanting to take the opportunity to surreptitiously take in Saralegui's appearance. To his discomfort though, he found that Saralegui seemed to be examining him.
Damien turned faintly red as the other boy smiled at him, obviously amused. Saralegui looked stunning in the moonlight, and after a brief hesitant second, Damien allowed himself to admire the white glow of the boy's skin, the eyes that shone with their hidden power, and the strands of hair that fell loosely down his neck.
"What is it?" Saralegui asked when Damien remained staring wordlessly at him.
Damien snapped out of his stupor, opening and closing his mouth without really saying anything. Then shaking his head, he downed the remaining contents of his wine glass and permitted himself a gesture which he would not have otherwise attempted in his sane, alcohol-free mind.
Damien reached forward, fingering the errant strand of hair that fell by Saralegui's neck, securing it against the lobe of the latter's ear. Then he withdrew, clearing his throat self-consciously.
Saralegui did not say a word for what seemed like an eternity. Then he smiled and said simply, "Thank you." I'm really glad to see you again…
Damien nodded. "You're welcome." I'm so happy to see you too…
The unspoken words made Damien feel warm inside. For the first time in a long while, he felt oddly at peace, taking comfort in the knowledge that despite the various disappointments and heartaches and loneliness of the past years of his life, somebody was now looking – really looking – at him. One glance at Saralegui's eyes told him that the boy felt the exact same way.
The rest of the evening passed in companionable silence, with both boys looking at each other every now and then.
Both completely unable to turn away.
End
A/N: This story was requested by – and consequently dedicated to – SangLeGuira. I actually didn't know how to proceed about it, knowing that some parts will overlap quite a bit with Part 2 of Soul Hunters. So I decided for something that could take place in between…
And there! I think I've pretty much covered the additional stories that I promised to do. Now I can really take a break. :)
Thanks for reading!
