Castiel's POV
"I'm not mentally unstable for crying out loud cause I like other guys," I scream at my 'father' not caring if my 'siblings' hear me. "This is the 21st century how many places in the world accept this kind of 'sin.' So if I was born with this sin then send me straight to hell I'll see you there."
I feel a sting on my cheek as I'm knocked to the floor. I hear my brother, Gabe, shout at my father. I watch my brother push him away from me. Father is knocked to the floor himself and my brother yanks me up too my feet as he screams some more.
I'm not sure how long it is until I'm pulled into my brother's apartment glad none of his 'friends' are around. I sigh when I'm shoved to the couch as my brother looks at me for once looking pretty serious.
"Cas, I thought we were going to wait too tell the dickbags about your preferences. you have only a few more days until graduation then you were going to move on with your life."
I groan as I lean back into his couch and a slab of ice is pressed up on my cheek.
"Gabe, I didn't tell them. They had looked through my things with some lame excuse. I think Dick Roman is getting payback."
"Ohh… Cassie, did they find your special lil box?" Gabe teases me.
"No, remember after their last surprise inspection I hid it here. So no, they ummm…. looked through my school bag where I had a new skin mag."
"You brought a skin mag too the house… Are you an idiot?"
"Hey I'm human shit happens. I had forgotten I had it after I had left school."
"You brought it to school to compare too the guy that you've been mooning over." my older brother teases me on once again.
"Shut up, Gabe. For your information I already know what his body looks like. Though him 100% naked I don't know so at least so at least bodyshape mostly I can work with."
Gabe makes a face as he looks at me, "Dude, that's just do you spy on him in the locker room or something."
"Shut up! It's not like I try to. I have gym with him so yes I kind of watch him while I'm in the locker room. It's not like I try to do so he kind of flaunts everything while in the room. Though I've never seen his package."
Gabe stops as if he's thinking about something, "I bet you're missing out big time."
"Gabe, I have a pretty good idea on what I'm missing from when he fell on me 2 years ago."
"Wait… he fell on you 2 years ago. Wait… he fell on you in the locker room while you 2 were in towels. That was the 2 of you."
"Yeah, it was. Man that material would of been perfect if other people weren't in the room, not counting, that assbutt, Dick Roman was there. Ugh, he gives me the creeps."
"Yeah, he'd make me flaccid any day. At least now the bag of dicks is far away though I guess he can still cause us some problems. I should've hit him with my car when I had the chance. Though Cassie who's the guy that you have the hots for?"
I sigh thinking, 'I've never told my brother just who is it I dream of every night. That Dean Winchester holds me while I sleep.
"No one you'd have an eye for. You have been mostly interested in groups of people."
"That I can't deny that though it's hard to find a good 1 these days."
I wouldn't know about anything like that.
Finally Gabe shuts up about his last fuck and I'm left in peaceful silence until I hear a knock at his door.
"Gabe, please tell me you're not expecting someone," I call out too my brother as I walk too the apartment door.
I hear a jumbled, "No," from Gabe's bathroom. Well that's good at least. I hear an impatient knock on the door and I simply rip the door open too come face to face with the man of my dreams.
"Cas, what what are you doing here I thought you lived on the other side of town?"
I look at Dean as I shrug, "I kind of got tossed out of the house so my brother said I could stay with him earlier than we had planned."
He nods his head then looks me more in the face and his eyes widen, "Cass, what happened to your face?"
Dean leans over the threshold of the apartment too touch my cheek where my dad had hit me. I don't stop myself as I reach up to Dean's hand that's cupping my hurt cheek.
"Ahhh… yeah, that my dad and I had an argument so he got mad and hit me." As I speak those words I remember the rumors about Dean's dad, that he was one for abusing his sons or at least Dean.
"Wow, he gave you one nice punch. Did you treat it?"
I shrug as I let go of his hand as I stare at my own, "Gabe, gave me a thing of ice a bit ago so I should be fine "
Dean sighs as he steps in and I move back to let him in.
"Here you 2 don't know the first thing about fighting first aid. I'll help you treat it then I need too talk too your brother."
I nod my head and the 10 minutes I had spent with Dean were the best in my life. He treated like I'd wish him top, but I can't bring myself to look him in the eyes. When I finally do I see something that I'd always wish too see. I see compassion in his beautiful emerald green eyes as I watch the gold flecks dance as he smiles softly at me.
"Dean, why are you helping me with this?" I ask him a I stare him in the eyes.
He keeps eye contact with me as he says, "I worry about you. Though we've never really talked outside of school I've always thought of you were my friend. I have always worried about you after I first saw you had bruises riddling your body, our freshman year, since then I've been keeping an eye on you. I've been worried the last couple of months cause you've seemed to be trouble. Though seeing your face makes me think of how I wasn't much help like I wished for. Cas, who was the one that hit you?"
I stare at Dean surprised at the sternness of his voice, "It doesn't matter anymore I'm not going back there. That family never cared about me like Gabe has. Since Gabe is the only real family I have."
I feel Dean take a hold take a tight hold on my hand I'm pulled into his warmth just from this simple contact I barely register my brother saying he'll be heading out tonight.
"Dean, why…" before more can be said I feel soft warm lips on my own. Even though I;ve never kissed him before I know the who the owner of these lips are and I can't help but to thread my fingers through his short hair. As we pull away I'm met with eyes filled with so much emotion. His tell me he's worried, loving, but there's a hint of lust that he seems to be trying to control. I don't make a move too say anything I keep my hands in Dean's hair playing with the spiked strands.
"Cas, don't stop that?" Dean mumble as he pulled me closer to him.
I look him in the eyes, "Dean, why did you kiss me?" I haven't removed my hands from his hair instead I nervously play with it waiting for an answer.
"Well, Cass you see," I watch as Dean nervously licks his lips, "Cass, you see... God, I never planned to do this. I just saw how hurt you looked and I wanted to comfort you. I shouldn't have kissed you like that."
I can't help but too smile as i move one hand too Dean's cheek, "I kissed you back didn't I? So tell me Dean why did you kiss me?"
Dean licks his lips again, "I kissed you… cause…." Dean stops talking as he leans his head against mine, "God, Cas, you have no idea how I feel about you. Would you understand if I tell you a different secret of mine?"
I nod my head as I keep eye contact with him, "Dean, you can tell me anything. You should know that right," I more state it too him than ask. I just want didn't add the part 'cause I like you.'
"Well remember when we were 16 and i sort of fell on you in the locker room," he waits for me too nod my head, "well umm…. I was an accident and it was only cause I saw you in the shower. I was trying to calm myself down when I had tripped and fell on you. If it wasn't for all the people and Dick I would have totally kissed you and such. Picturing you in the shower rubbing your hands on your body or the feeling of your body being pushed up against mine."
"Does that mean you lust after me?"
Dean groans as he takes one of his hands running it against his face, "Not exactly. Cass, it's not that I just lust after you all until that day I thought I'd be straight and normal like my dad would want. Though when i saw you like that I realized why I was always drawn to you. I like you Cass. I probably like you a lot more than a guy should like another guy, but hey I don't care. I hate that you fill my mind every single second of the day. Ugh, this is such a chick flick moment."
"Excuse me?" I ask happy, confused, and a lil annoyed at his last sentence.
Dean sigh as he keeps his forehead against mine, "Cass, I grew up an army brat. I was taught emotions are a weakness especially after my mother had died when i was very young. We had moved around until we had came here a little before freshman year. I didn't like anything about this town, but when I met you I wanted to get to know you, but I was scared to get close to someone and then would have to deal with moving again. Though I had been talking too Gabe too keep an eye on you after the whole first time I saw your bruises. Though as I talked to Gabe I wanted too ask him so many questions about you, but I'd rather learn everything about you from the person himself. What I'm dancing around is… what would you think if I told you I have romantic feeling for you?"
I'd jump you right this moment.
"I'd have to ask if you're kidding cause I don't think I could stand someone playing a prank on me… again."
"Again…. Cas, what are you talking about?"
"Before I found out how much of a dick Dick Roman is he played a prank on me and about everyone found out about my orientation."
"So you were outed… as gay…?" Dean manages to say and I simply nod my head. "Well I'm glad I broke his nose before he left."
I can't help it as i start laughing. Dean simply places his hand on my cheek as he leans forward. I don't move away curious on what he'll do. I stare at him until he leans in again taking my lips in his own. His lips can compare too soft rose petals freshly picked, but firm making me feeling like I'm being pulled into what would be our own little world. I'm not sure how long we kissed or even what his reason was, I finally had my first kiss and it was with Dean Winchester.
As Dean pulls away I make a whining sound and I want too die. As I finally focus on what's in front of me I meet Dean's green hopeful eyes as he stares at me like a sad lil puppy.
I take a deep breathe as I say once again,"Dean, why do you keep kissing me?"
Dean groans as he leans back and rubs his hands on his face, "Cas, it's cause I like ya…. Ugh, the whole idea of emotions is hard for me, Cas, so I'll tell you this once I like ya romantically. Alright, I've been hiding this part of myself for a while now. I just thought your orientation was something Dick had spread around too be well a dick, but I've had my hopes up and been building up courage to at least feel your lips against mine as our last few kisses."
I simply can't take my eyes off of Dean letting his words since his first kiss finally settle in, and I feel like I need to hit myself. He's been telling me if anything he loves me. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as I look at his hopeful green eyes and as he takes in my face he let's a crooked smile of his own show.
"Would you stop being so nervous if I say I've had feelings for you for awhile now? Well it's been since we met."
He nods his head as he strokes my cheeks with one of his thumbs. I close my eyes relishing in the feeling on his hand softly on my face. I somehow know he's watching my reactions even more so when he leans forward and kisses me with what seems to be everything he's got. This so passes what I've dreamt about they'd never compare to the real thing. This feeling makes me wrap my arms around his neck like you see in those movies.
I pull away from Dean since we both need to breathe. Before more can be done we simply look into each other's eyes as if we're asking each other what is next.
