Author's Note: I'm annoyed with season two, I am, I am, I really am, but... well, this came out anyway. November is almost here, and with that comes National Writing Month, and although the Glee muse has been quiet, she'll be really shoved aside mercilessly in favor of novels in just a few short days. So... it'll be quiet in Glee land for a bit longer. (If you're doing NaNoWriMo, drop me a line! I'm PearlRose on the site, and ML-ing for my hometown this year. And modding the forums and lots of stuff!)
Thanks to C, A, and MA for convincing me to post this thing.
Tina Cohen-Chang isn't quite sure how it got to this.
There's Artie, her ex-boyfriend, and Mike, her current boyfriend, and well, Tina can't quite believe it. There they are, armed with microphones and Brad and ...preparing for a sing-off? (Wasn't that what Jesse threatened Finn with last year?) A freaking sing-off. Over ...her.
Part of her (most of her) wants to stomp right up there and declare that she's not some prize, not some shining figure in this love triangle that she never asked to be a part of. But right now, she's glued to the floor, her heeled shoes keeping her firmly in place as she stares at the situation before her, eyes wide open and alarmed.
Artie opens his mouth to sing, and Mike's already tapping his foot to the beat. Tina continues to just stand there, a million thoughts racing through her mind.
She glances at Artie, who was a pretty good friend before she found out he was a pretty crappy boyfriend. She didn't want to admit it, but last year, during the Brian Ryan debacle, she'd really thought Artie was her One. Her happily-ever after. They'd been good friends, sharing songs and banter over jam sessions fueled by caffeine.
She tries not to think too hard about how things blew up over the summer. It still makes her heart hurt, more than a little to think about it. How she never felt quite good enough for Artie, who ignored her during the rare moments she had free over that long, hazy, crazy summer.
The feelings still sting.
Then her gaze wanders over to Mike, who's sweet, mostly harmless, and generally safe. He likes her, she knows, and she likes him. He's a nice guy who wasn't entirely what she expected at first. He listened to her when she was lonely, and swept her off her feet a little. It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes, and liked to twirl her around. It made her feel fancy. Special. Like a princess.
All they ever seemed to talk about was their shared Asian ancestry.
Tina never thought she'd find anyone in high school, let alone two guys. She certainly never dreamed they'd be fighting-in a ridiculously geeky, only in Glee kind of way-over her affections. Singing and dancing in a duel for heart. I can dance with you, Tina! You love to dance. I can sing with you, Tina! You've always loved duets.
Love. Loved. Loves. It's all so confusing. She misses being friends with Artie. Having long chats with him, and Kurt and Mercedes, in the food court at the mall. Movie marathons on the weekends. The group's botched attempt at being badass during their library rap session. She misses the cohesion of their group, the original Glee Club losers. But at the same time, she likes Mike. She likes the fact that he's clearly besotted with her, (for reasons she never entirely understands) and just is so... easy-going about things.
She's with Mike. Tina chose Mike, she reminds herself. He was nice to her at camp, and she liked ...he was freaking hot. Sexy. Artie was an ass. Artie still is one, if the rumors circulating about him and Brittany are to be believed. Tina keeps repeating these words to herself as she remains glued to the floor.
Eventually though, somewhere during the first chorus (or at least, she thinks it's the first chorus), Tina finds her voice.
"Stop!"
The word rings through the air like a bell, echoing through the room as everything-Artie, Mike, the music-goes dead silent. Clearly, Tina's stammered cry had not been expected. Both of the boys stare at her, wondering what she'll say next. If she's made up her mind. Who she's chosen.
She can't speak anymore. Her voice as left her, leaving her shy and meek and all of the things she was before Glee entered her life, before Glee made her a happier person. Before Glee made two guys notice her. Before two guys tried to find the Tina hiding under the black lace and fishnets.
Two of them.
One of her.
She wants to be with Mike. And she wants to be with Artie. Artie was her friend, and they were such good friends, but Mike makes her feel like a proper lady. Tina wants both. Her needs. What about her needs? Why can't she choose? Why does it have to be one or the other? Can't she take the best parts of them both? Why doesn't life work that way? And why are they fighting over her? She's just boring, weird, freaky, dark Tina. There's nothing there worth having two boys fight over her for. Nothing.
After several long, agonizing seconds, her feet remember how to work, and Tina makes haste for the door. She is flight, not fight, and she's tired. She's so very tired. So Tina leaves, shaking like a leaf as she hides in the safety of her bedroom at home. For now, she'll be alone. She managed just fine with alone for fifteen years. So she'll go back to being alone, hiding in the shadows, being just plain old Tina.
The thought makes her cry.
