"If he could drive half as good as he could bitch we'd be fine."
- Viper
Mipha turned out to be as worthless as a pool toy. Daruk thought he could pull a Rocky II but ended up looking like the middle of Rocky III. Urbosa's muscles were all glow and no show. The only one still left in the battle was Revali.
Vah Medoh swept through the sky in a long black outline above the purple clouds. Revali piloted the Divine Beast like it was his obsession, like his entire life had been building to this moment of glory. He sharply swerved out of the way or spun upside-down every time Calamity Ganon vomited another glob of Malice toward him. He brushed dangerously close with Calamity again and again in a quick and deliberate circle strafe, making each flyby count by firing another bright blue laser straight into the demon's mouth. Gradually, he was wearing down the legendary destroyer of realms.
"Don't you think he's showing off a little?" Mipha asked. She rubbed a large bump on her head as she tiredly tilted her cheek against Link's shoulder.
The Hylian Champion was standing on the balcony of Castle Hyrule with a princess on either side. Mipha was on his right. Zelda was on his left, looking powerless and teary-eyed as she stared into the Malice-cursed sky.
"He's probably just lost his temper again. You know how he gets," Link replied, gently sliding his arm over Mipha's shoulder. Their eyes met as Vah Medoh as streamed over their heads in gale force winds. Neither one could resist wrapping their arms around the other and offering their comfort. Two lovers embracing in the apocalyptic sunset.
Zelda turned her head and saw Link and Mipha in a deep kiss. Her soft, innocent face hardened with jealousy.
The Hylian princess screamed toward the sky with all the rage in her heart. Throwing out her palm toward Ganon, she was finally able to summon her powers of Light and strike at the monster herself. Zelda's holy blessings and Vah Medoh's ancient lasers combined to vaporize the Calamity and seal him back to his terrible abyss.
Link and Mipha slowly separated from their embrace. They were confused as they looked up and saw the suddenly clearing skies.
"Did we miss something?" Mipha blinked.
The End.
