It had all started when he was fourteen. While his classmates were gawking over the pretty girls in their class, he wasn't. He was watching the pretty boy with the bright green eyes.
He was unsure of what this meant. He knew what it was to be gay, but he didn't know what it was like to be gay. He didn't know how to handle those emotions and so he bottled them up and locked them away. Now here he was, facing deep conflict as he watched the boy with gorgeous blue eyes from the back of their classroom. The boy had deep eyes that Max could drown in. Eyes that he felt he could expose his deepest secret to, regardless of the fact that those eyes belonged to a boy who wasn't the brightest.
Max turned his head away as he saw him turn back and look around, looking for whoever he felt was staring at him.
Max cursed himself under his breath as the bell rang, grabbing his bag and rushing out, fighting with himself as he turned the corner to enter the boy's bathroom. He stared in the mirror, feeling himself internally lose whatever war he was fighting.
He couldn't come out. Not now and not ever. His family would never look at him the same, they would never treat him the same. For the longest time they would treat their oldest son like he was fragile and delicate. And even though Max didn't care about the other kids at his school, he wouldn't deal with the gossip. He wouldn't deal with the stares. And he most certainly wouldn't deal with any type of bathroom situation. Lots of people seem to think that just because someone's gay that they're automatically that persons type and they'll try to get with them no matter what. That wasn't true.
He needed to talk to someone about this. He couldn't talk to his parents, he didn't need that stress yet. He couldn't talk to Phoebe, she would blab to Cherry then the whole world would know. No, he had to talk to his most trusted partner, the only one who hated everyone enough to keep it a secret.
That's how Max found himself hours later, spilling all of his secrets to the rabbit in front of him.
"I just don't know what to do, Colosso." Max said with a sigh, running a hand over his face. "I could tell him, but what if...what if it ruins our friendship? And I can't even tell mom and dad. They would accept it, but they're not the type of people to just let it go. They'd start this whole big thing about it and that's not what I want."
"I don't know what to say to you on this one, Max. I think you should think long and hard about this one before you make any rash decisions. I mean, who knew you'd be coming out at seventeen?"
"Will you keep it down?" Max hissed angrily, looking around his empty room. "I don't need anyone hearing about this, okay? Not now and not tomorrow either." He shook his head, putting his chin in his hand.
"I just don't know what to do."
It was a month since that day and Max still hadn't told anyone. Tonight was the night he planned on telling his family and all he could do was hope that they wouldn't jump on him with all that support and love bullshit. He couldn't deal with that. Not right now.
They were sitting down, eating dinner. Spaghetti with red sauce, it was one of dads favorites. So far the night was going good and then Max dropped the bomb.
"I've got to tell you guys something." He said nervously. He was never nervous, he needed to snap out of this.
"What is it, honey?" Barb asked, not paying full attention as she began to wrap her noodles around her fork.
"I'm gay."
The fork clattered to the ground, his whole family eerily silent, staring at him as if he was a circus attraction. Max didn't like their gazes on him, he felt trapped. He knew he shouldn't have done this.
"You're- you're what?" Hank asked, staring at his son shocked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Gay, Dad. I'm gay."
"Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad you told us!" Barb got up, completely ignoring her food as she ran over to her son, engulfing him in a tight hug.
Max felt suffocated in this hug, he pushed away slightly from his mother before patting her back awkwardly. "Thanks, mom."
"What's gay?" Billy asked.
Barb and Hank spent the next half hour explaining it to him and Nora.
Max sat in a stool, twiddling his thumbs as he looked down at the counter. He felt a presence beside him and looked up to see Phoebe staring at him.
"Can I help you?" He asked gruffly, looking back down at his hands.
"I was waiting for you to come out. I've known since we were fourteen."
Max snapped his head up at his twin sister, a shocked yet slightly angry look in his eyes. "You've what!?"
"I've known." She said again. Her voice was nonchalant, her shoulders shrugging as she moved a piece of hair off her shoulder. "It was so obvious. You had the biggest crush on that kid. Forgot his name, but I remember he had green eyes. For days after you met him all you would do is mumble plots on how you could get the boy with the 'pretty green eyes' to notice you."
Max said nothing, but thought back at the memory, a shrug finding its way to his shoulders.
"You know this doesn't change anything right? The only difference is when I go to the mall, you can come with me and we can go look at boys together!"
"Yeah, not gonna happen, Dweeby."
It was another month after that, that Max was trying to find the courage to tell the boy with the pretty blue eyes his feelings. They were practicing some new music. Just the two of them. Max had set his guitar down, watching as the boy put his down as well.
The blue eyed boy took a sip of his water, swallowing and setting it down. He stared at Max oddly as Max gave him this...look.
"Are you okay, man? You need to take a br-hmph!"
He was cut off by soft lips encasing his in a passionate kiss, Max's hands cradling the pretty blue eyed boy's cheeks.
The boy with the pretty blue eyes was shocked, but then...,but then he was kissing back. This was with fervor. With need. And suddenly, he was happy he had closed and locked the door on his way in like Max had told him to.
The pair stayed like that for a bit, eventually pulling away with swollen lips, the blue eyed boys gorgeous eyes downcast.
Max bit his lip, wondering if he had ruined his chance.
"I-I don't know what to say." The blue eyed boy said eventually, looking at Max.
"Don't say anything then...just kiss me again."
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