"Marluxia!" Roxas called, walking down the Hall That Never Was.
"Yes?" The Graceful Assassin's voice rang out from around the corner. Roxas turned the corner to find Marluxia tending to a rose bed. Marluxia turned his head, a small smile on his face. "What is it?"
"Well," Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "I was reading a fanfiction on the computer the other day..." Marluxia's smile disappeared, and was replaced with a concerned frown.
"Don't tell me," he said darkly as he went back to tending his rose bed. "Xigbar and Saix were browsing adult sites again, and you stumbled upon one of them, right?"
"No," Roxas replied quickly. "but it involved Demyx, and some girl..."
"And?" The Graceful Assassin raised his eyebrows.
"...it said that they had kids." Roxas muttered.
"So?"
"What I want to know," Roxas continued. "is how the kids...you know...GOT there." Marluxia's eyes widened.
"You honestly don't know?" Smiling again, Marluxia sat down next to his rose bed, beckoning Roxas to join him. "Roxas," he continued as Roxas sat down next to him. "I think it's time for you to learn about 'The Buds and the Seeds'. You see," he moved his hands around dreamily as he spoke. "when a male Nobody and a female Nobody REALLY, really love each other, the male Nobody-"
"Did I hear correctly?" Demyx burst from around the corner, a silly grin on his face. "You're filling him in on the best parts of a love relationship?"
"No," Marluxia frowned in frustration. "Roxas just asked me the big question. I think it's time we gave him THE TALK."
"What, you mean the CLIMAX of an affair?"
"Demyx..." Marluxia said warningly.
"Rox, let ME fill you in on the finer points of life." The Melodious Nocturne sat down beside Roxas, putting a hand on his shoulder. "If your girlfriend gets drunk, you-"
"Demyx, this is a G-RATED fanfiction!" Marluxia snapped, glaring at Demyx.
"So?" Demyx pouted. "It's not dirty if the readers don't get it!"
"Don't get what?" Larxene's head popped around the corner.
"I was telling Roxas how babies were made in G-RATED MODE, when Mr. Perverted comes in with HIS version of the story!" The Graceful Assassin looked livid.
"DEMYX, YOU IDIOT!" Larxene yelled, kicking Demyx with a steel-toed shoe. "REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD XIGBAR? NOW HE'S A MAJOR PERVERT! Roxas," she sighed, sitting down between Demyx and Roxas. "let me tell you how you get children."
"CHILDREN?" Demyx said loudly. "That's what you want to AVOID! You don't want to end up paying child support!"
"Has it ever occurred to you that the process of creating children is sometimes performed FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN PLEASURE?!" Larxene yelled, hitting Demyx hard.
"Has it ever occurred to YOU that becoming a father is the LAST THING I WANT TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW?!" He shouted back, bashing Larxene.
"Then why was it WRITTEN IN A FANFICTION ON THE INTERNET?!" Marluxia snapped, conjuring up his scythe.
"Hey, I DIDN'T WRITE IT, OKAY?! SOME FANGIRL DID!!"
"ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHERE BABIES COME FROM!!" Roxas screamed. The others fell silent.
"Well," Larxene replied after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. "I'll whisper it." She leaned over Roxas and whispered how babies were made in his ear.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Roxas ran screaming down the hall.
"What'd you tell him?" Marluxia asked after a few minutes. Larxene folded her arms smugly
"I told him that the mom buys one, then eats it." She replied smugly.
"Larxene, you're mean."
"I know, Demmy. I know."
