Disclaimer - Yeah, I don't own Bones. Rub it in.
Author's Notes - Just a random quick oneshot I wrote because I was in need of some serious BB fluff. The whole thing is supposed to be kind of abstract, which is why it doesn't come straight out and say exactly who's dead, why, etc. But just to clarify, the first part of it takes place in the morgue and the second in Brennan's apartment. Also, complete bonus points to whoever gets the Angel and Buffy references. I was very inspired by them. xD
I Already Knew That
Brennan stared at the body lying in front of her. She didn't know what it meant, what she felt – anything. She just looked. She knew she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She was suddenly aware of Booth's presence behind her, she could feel what he wanted to say and do but didn't.
"I don't understand," she said quietly, her eyes still fixated on the body.
"I know," he said softly. "It's hard." Brennan shook her head.
"No…" she said. She paused for a moment. "What I should say, what I should do—feel—I don't understand. He killed so many people. But does that—does that make him a bad man, Booth? If I cry about his death, does that make me bad?"
"Bones…" Booth began, but Brennan continued.
"What if I don't want to cry? He spent so many years of his life protecting me and Russ…is that a bad thing if I don't cry? What am I, ungrateful then?"
"Bones, listen to me," said Booth. "You have to stop analyzing the situation. You don't have to try and figure out what you should feel. Just feel it."
"I don't understand what I feel. I don't think there's anything there, Booth. There's no sadness, no hurt, no love…no pain." She turned, finally prying her eyes away from the body and meeting his. Booth was shocked to see the expression on her face. It was blank, there were no unshed tears welling up in her eyes. "Why can't I feel?"
"It's what happens when you detach yourself from a situation. Don't do that, Bones. I know on cases it's healthy to detach your emotions, but doing that now will only make it harder to get through this. Don't try to figure out what it means." Brennan nodded, looking down.
"I still don't understand," she whispered. "I just want to feel something besides the cold, Booth." She looked up, meeting his gaze again. "Don't you feel the cold?"
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Brennan sat on her sofa, her arms wrapped around her legs and her knees drawn up to her chin. There was a knock at her door. She paused a few seconds before answering weakly "It's open, come in." The door opened and Booth entered.
"You really shouldn't keep your door open, Bones," he said.
"I know," she said quietly.
"Hey, Bones," said Booth, sitting down next to her on the couch. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"I…" She paused. "I've been thinking about it, Booth." He nodded, a silent encouragement for her to continue. "I'm thinking about it, and I—I finally understand it. There's an answer to all this confusion. And the answer is…I don't understand. It's that simple." Booth smiled.
"There you go," he said.
"Thank you," Brennan whispered. Booth shook his head.
"It wasn't me, Bones, it was you."
"Booth, you…" She stopped. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Booth grinned, but said nothing in response. He gently pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her back as she rested against him, the first of many tears trickling down her cheeks.
"I love you," he said. "You know that, right?"
Review please, and make my day:) Also, for those of you who were wondering, I'm not giving up The Silver Heart. I'm just taking a really long time to update it. xD
