…………..A Long Walk to Forever………….

I never thought you'll come again, and touch my heart once more

You say we're friends and never more, so my heart beats in silence

When we talk , when you smile, I could just melt away

Your laughter tangled in the breeze brings a music to my soul

One day we we're walking on a cloudy morn

Saw you shivered and I groaned but handed you my coat

Deep down I know you realize, that I just needed to pretend

I know my love would worry you, besides, the coldness numbs the pain

You looked at me and asked me 'What', coz I was staring at your face

Dazed, more bewildered dreaming bout your tight embrace

I answered "nothing" and we just walked, and then I hummed a tune

You just listened, then closed your eyes, I felt I was walking on the moon

I was afraid, it can't be true the two of us together

You are so close, I could feel you breath, I held you tighter next to me

I felt you stiffen so I let you go, I blurted out "I'm gay!"

You said "I know, it was just too tight, come on honey, let's go home"

Was that just me, or is it sadness, I saw crept into her face,

Does she really think I'm not man enough to give the love I know she needs

My heart is always aching , my soul could only scream

She couldn't see inside of me.. A raging flame that burns for thee

Beads of light touched her face as the sun makes its presence known

Here we are, both standing in front of a great oak door

"So Wilma, I'll see you around?", "it's Will , Karen, and yes you will."

She kissed my cheek, and turned away, my chained desired at last was freed

I said "hey, do you mind", "what is it honey" she replied.

"I really need to spend the night, my heater's broke and I might die"

"you queers are weird" that's what she said, but I kept a straight face

She looked at me, I looked at her.. Who am I kidding..I saw her gaze

Three heavy steps, that's what I took, and then I heard her voice

"Hey Wilma dear, why don't you stay, I want you to live for one more day"

I tried to look cool, I tried to sound bored when I said " Thanks Kare"

She almost laughed and said to me "you're welcome, and its Karen"

I kissed her cheeks, like she did mine, but she reacted differently

For a moment I thought she was mad, a blur's what happened next

She hugged me tight kissed my lips, whispered "you said your gay .. Right?

That mocking tone, I just ignored, she can't be playing me

The day passed quick, we fooled around, watch movies and ate a bunch

Ok I lied, she didn't eat, but boy she drank a lot

I've never seen her sober, but she never acted drunk

She is just a mystery, remains unraveled in the dark

Oh how long to light her, how I'd love to see

Her passion, her grace, share her dreams and fantasies

I know it would take forever , maybe longer ,maybe never

What I'd give to uncover, nothing I would not do

She yawned and said "I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed"

"ok sweetie" I said, and kissed her on the forehead

I walked her to her room, her perfume lingers in the air

My heart racing widely as I think of words to say

She turned around and said goodnight and began to close the door

No no don't .. I heard inside .. I can't pretend anymore

"I don't want to let you go" the words spilled out of my lips

She looks at me in wonder, and whispered something, I didn't miss

"You're gay right , she teased, but the hurt she could not keep

Her eyes glazed with anger, and face cold and stiff

"I love you and that's what I know, is that hard to understand?"

I know she doubted me, she thinks I'm only half a man

I would never force my love, but I won't let her go

I could keep her in my heart and there I'll wait until she knows

My love for her has opened another window in my life

Sadness comes with the breeze and tears warm up my nights

Maybe I should just walk away, maybe this is a mistake

I'm standing here in front of her hearing words not stay but "go"

I started on my way, I would have vanished if I could

She doesn't love you, idiot, my brain says more than than it should

And as my fingers touch the door knob, I heard her running after me

Tears forming in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks

"How can you say you love me and just run away!'

"I am gay remember! You know that's what you want to say!!"

"You never should have said that, you've never should have stayed"

And so I braced myself to the pain that is starting to unveil

"I love you too Will Truman, I love you with all my heart,

But how can I love you when you have half a heart"

"If we are going to be together, imagine what I'll be going thru,

I will wake up every morning worrying if a man has snatched your love,

I dread the day I will wake up and you'll just say goodbye,

Then you will leave me hanging on a thread with hopes to die!"

"You know you're right , all that is true, I would never deny,

I loved a million man before, been blinded for so long..

And then you came, and took my love, and left nothing for my own"

She started crying, I could hear, but I walked straight out the door..

"Will stop!" she yelled I and just froze and waited what's to come

I felt her arms wrapped around me, and whispered as she clung

"Damn all the pain, please don't leave me, stay in my arms tonight,

My heater's running but I feel cold , I need you to call as mine

I let our a chuckle as her face softened , emotions finally revealed

My angel , my love, she is no more a dream

Our lips met , for the first time, there is no more pretending

The wait is over, an ending it seems, her heart she offers to me

"Please be assured you're the only one, and I'll never say goodbye..

I promise you, I'll keep you safe, I'll never make you cry,

The world seems more fairer, forgiving and kinder

For now I have her in my arms, my beloved and my despair….