Hey! This is my first hp fanfic so please, only constructive criticism! BTW I am not hating on HP. I am a huge Dumbledork and have been since the age of six! :o) This is purely for the purpose of comedy! I got the idea from ThereSheGoesAndShesComin 's story, "THE PERSEUS ATTRACTION" If you like the PJO books you should definitely check out her story!

The Dumbsleys were the pride ang glory of Number 4 Pervy Drive.

Mr. Dumbsley was a beefy, pig-eyed boss of a screw company, yeah, screws, don't ask why. So anyways, he was, like, „da boss" although his IQ was questionable and he spent most of his time shouting at people just for the heck of it. His neck was so big, he could barely fit his designer ties around it.

Mrs. Dumbsley was the exact opposite of her husband, but, as everyone says, opposites attract. She was a very tall, thin woman with very high cheekbones and a face that resembled that of a horse. It is obvious from their appearance that this couple will be a bad guy in this story. Good guys are never ugly.

So, basically, Mr. Dumbsley and Mrs. Dumbsley, let's just call them by their first names: Turden and …, had a one year old son named Turdley. Turdley was the size of an average bear cub. This was due to the fact that he was the most spoiled kid in the history of literature.

I'm not kidding.

I mean, his mom let him throw cheerios at the wall and he gets a kiss on his big pink ass face by his dad. Well, maybe being kissed by Turden was a punishment in ist own way...

So, one morning Mr. Dumbsley made his way to work but he got distracted by a cat sitting on his garden wall. He got a very strange feeling because seeing a cat sitting on a garden wall seems like the most mysterious thing in the world... I guess it was just too much to handle for his pea-sized brain.

Then he got worked up by strange groups of people dressed in a funny way huddling together talking in hushed voices. As he walked by one of these groups giving them the stink-eye he heard the names "Voldywarts", "Hairy" and "Potty". He knew these were important, but he couldnt put his finger on why. He decided not to worry about that right now and got himself a doughnut, not that he needed it. He probably should have gotten a fruit salad. Or an organic whole wheat bagel. But enough about Mr. Dumbsleys eating habits, let's get back to the story. So he went to work, blablabla, yadayadayada and shouted to various people about various things.

Once he got home, the cat was still sitting on the garden wall. He tried shooing it away, because, c'mon, what would the neighbours think? A cat sitting on the garden wall is soooooooo unusual. What he didn't know was that this cat was no ordinary cat...

I know it's short, but next chapter will be longer. It's gonna be about the conversation between Dumledore and McGonagall with Hagrid flying in to drop off Harry. Any suggestions for the names of those three characters? leave a review! I think I'm gonna go with Dumbledork, but I'm not sure yet... :)

xx AnnaAnton xx