Title: Through the Fire
Character(s): Zuko, the rest of the royal Family of the Fire Nation(mentioned only)
Pairing(s): None
Rating: K+
Word Count: around 1000
Warnings: /
A/N: Some of Zukos thoughts about the fires he encountered in his shortly before he faces his father Firelord Ozai in episode 3.11 "The Day of the Black Sun- Part Two".
This is my first little story completely written in English. Because I am not a native speaker some of the sentences and phrases may sound not quite right. and maybe some of the words are written wrong or you know other and better.
So be gentle if you like to write something about the little story and help me to set things right.
Acknowledgments: Avatar:The Last Airbender was created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko; copyright for this property is held by Viacom International, Inc.. I own nothing.
* * *
When my father burned my face, I thought that my life had come to an end separating me from all the fires and flames I cared for.
I felt myself as a failure, rightfully banished from the fire nation, damned to the unfullfillable quest to search the Avatar. Only when I find him, so I was told by the firelord's minions, I would regain my honor and allowed to return home.
My father refused to see me once again after the Agni-Kai. Only my sister Azula told me, that he was disgusted and spoke out the regret, that he had not killed me as his own father Firelord Azulon once demanded. Only my mother stopped him then and sacrificed herself. But what would be now, without her?
I know from the beginning , that I was sent on a futile search. Why should I succeed were my father and grandfather, my uncle and my great-grandfather had failed?
Two and a half year passed with now signs of the Avatar. Dark fires of despair, anger and hate surrounded me at last. To hide my feelings, I became arrogant and cruel.
Only Uncle found out how to reach my true self – sometimes.
* * *
Then- when I crossed the border of the south pole - I saw the light at the horizon. In this Moment I realized that this was not only an natural phenomen, but the answer to my silent prayers to the spirits.
My inner flame was lightened up by the obsession to find and hunt down the avatar, who appeared to be only an twelve year old boy.
I became strong enough to fight against Commander, later Admiral, Zhao, who tried to steal my price. No man or woman could separate me from the avatar.
And so I embraced the ferocious and wild fires of desire, although they nearly consumed my spirit and soul.
* * *
Again it was Uncle Iroh, who was the guiding light, which stopped from falling over the edge. He was there when I needed him most and the only thing which kept me alive while we where travelling across the Earth-Kingdom as refugees, although I left him for a while.
But this was the time I needed to tame the wild fire in me - by myself. He led me through a trial of feverish fire and then took me to the crossroads of destiny.
Which path was mine to follow?
The road of ultimate power trough fear and destruction, the arrogance to put the world in ashes only to rebuild it in only one man's fashion? Or to follow the small way into a uncertain future only illuminated by my own inner fire?
When Azula made her offer to help her hunt down the Avatar, I was not ready to face the truth.
And so I took the easier path.
Later on my soul burned in shame and anger about my decision. Although I regained what I had lost three years before through my sister's manipulations, and maybe more, because my father accepted me now, I was not happy.
It never felt right.
Something bothered me and the Scar burned more than once, reminding me of the hidden shame. I had betrayed my uncle. More of that: It felt as if I had betrayd myself.
Maybe this led me to the point to think about my life over and over again, reminding me of the days on Ember Island, when we were still were a happy family.
I had to accept, that the past cannot return, not after all what has happened and changed father, Azula and me.
I fell into a burning pit of mixed feelings and did not know how to get out once again.
* * *
But then Uncle Iroh gave me the anwer to the many unasked questions. He send me to reag the the secret scrolls of my great-grandfather Firelord Sozin and learn to understand. After I came to him, because there was one thing I sould not understand, he told me the one fact, which was not written on the parchment.
And it made me to understand.
All of this was my destiny. Only through pain and loss, despair and suffering I could learn the patience and humility to find the heritage buried deep inside me, I would be able to discover the other side of my inner fire, who was in constant struggle with all I the have learned and known before.
I am not only of the blood of Firelord Sozin, condemned to domination and cruelty, I am also a descended of Avatar Roku, who once knew the right path of fire. It is not only death and destruction, but also life, dedicated to flourishment, light and hope.
I needed some time to understand and accept the truth. Once again I felt the firestorm deep inside me. Fear, hate and anger tried to consume me.
But they can no longer corrupt my inner light.
It is nourished by another source from now on, no longer fragile and weak but strong in many ways. I can shape destiny for myself, ignite my own fire and guiding light.
* * *
Now I know what I have to do.
The war meeting only accelerated my decision and helped me to strengthen my flame.
It is my sword and shield to face you, father, and speaking right into your face.
My fear is gone.
Although you may consume me with the flames of your rage and struck me down with the lightning of your hate, I will stand and speak the truth as long as I could. And if I still stand after that, I will free Uncle and join the Avatars group.
I walk through all the fires and burns of my life for this day and hour.
Because I have found the flame of my true self, I am shure, that I will not fail again.
