CHAPTER ONE

"You don't know how many times I wish that I had cherished you..."

The petite blonde sang those lyrics softly, her soprano tone rough and husky after so much singing, loud talking and laughing that night. It was Valentine's Day and the Glee club had a busy night entertaining all in the big party that Sugar Motta had thrown. At first it had sounded actually silly, even pathetic, that the richy spoiled girl wanted to throw a party to make people to like her. But, at the end of that night, when everyone said their goodbyes and were heading home, Quinn finally understood that it didn't actually matter. Everyone that was there, was happy, in love, glad to be spending time with their friends. Almost every girl had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) on their arm, a happy smile on their faces, satisfaction being the word to describe the feelings around.

Everyone but... But him. Quinn didn't catch the reason why right away, but when she found him talking to Mercedes Jones in the backstage, asking for, yet, another chance, the blonde noticed that the hearts around Breadstix weren't all full and pink like Sugar tried to play out. There were broken hearts that night. Not only one, but two. Maybe more, but she wasn't going as far as giving a crap about anyone else than him.

He is handsome. Tall, broad shoulders, goofy smile, full lips (fuller than any of other lips she had ever seen... or kissed), green eyes that could show an ocean of secrets and desires and lost dreams and broken promises. She knows everything about him, by now. He is seventeen, but would give anything to be eighteen and be a Senior like most of his friends. He has two younger siblings, and they're his life. His parents are great people — Dwight and Elise gave him more values and a good heart than anything else. He is dyslexic and is ashamed of that, but tries to keep his grades to an even level. At some point, she was the one helping him to make that possible. Not nowadays, anymore. It wasn't like he shut her out after the thing happened or anything. He was too much of a good person to be mean or crude in any form. He did manage to "get past" that and forgive Quinn. For a while she thought they would be back together... for a while, she thought he was hoping for that as much as she did.

But, once again, she had gone wrong. She had broken his heart to pieces, his precious, beautiful heart. His first love, his first girlfriend, first real kiss. Thinking back to the moment when it all became a mess, Quinn asks herself how could one be so dumb and so mean to ruin a wonderful thing like him. Like them.

She had told him, a month or so ago, that she wanted him back. No, she needed him back. The words used weren't these, though — she was too scared to tell him the truth, to ask for forgiveness and beg to have his love back. The rumours around were that he and Mercedes Jones had a summer fling before he went away with his family, so how could she just come, out of the blue, and say "I love you"? No, the words were different. The meaning was the same, but he just didn't catch it.

"We were perfect together," she said that morning, standing on one of McKinley's halls. Maybe her mind was tricking her, maybe, but she really wondered if that wasn't the same hall that they were when he asked her to be his partner on the duet again. If that wasn't the same hall they were when he asked her to meet him in his car, on their way out to the Breadstix date. The hall where he asked her to come to the Astronomy room the day he "proposed". Maybe it was, but she just couldn't trust herself anymore. Lately, everything was a reason to think about him and she wasn't bothered by that fact in any form.

Tonight hadn't been the first time she caught him sad in a corner since he came back, no. There had been many times before, when no one else was paying attention to him (but, of course, her), that she noticed that weird look on his face. A broken heart, once again. Maybe it's Mercedes. Maybe it's Santana? No, he had probably noticed she played in his very same team when they were dating. Maybe... maybe it was her. But no, she had told herself, that ship was sunk a long time ago. He wasn't in love with her anymore, he only saw her as a friend. He saw her as what exactly they were.

They were friends — which was difficult for most of the people in the Glee club understand, because, once you break up, you should probably hate each other... well, that is, when you're eighteen and immature. But that just wasn't hers and his relationship. It had never been like that. Even though he was goofy and dorky, impressions and silly movies and all, he was more mature and grown up than everyone else in that group. Even herself, her so cool and independent woman self, was childish when it came to him.

"Hold on to sixteen as long as you can," that was the advice he gave her when her world was falling down. At first, Quinn didn't exactly get it. She even thought he was using the conversation to make a silly impression or try to come out with a hit song right there, in the hallway. But no. After that, he just walked away — much like he had done when he found out about the thing.

Quinn did understand though, later that day, sitting on her bed, looking through pictures of herself from baby to eighteen. She had changed. She was growing up; she was growing up so fast... And how soon would it be before all that was over? Quinn got what he meant. He wanted her to enjoy her life and let it last longer. He wanted her to be happy. Somehow, someway, he did still care about her...

And that was what got her going during the school year. Yes, of course, she was thrilled about Senior year and the possibility of going away of Lima for good. She was excited about showing her never around father that she was more than a loser that he kicked out of home. She was ready to be a woman, to learn about the world, to choose the way she was going to live her life from now on. But, when her Yale letter finally came that stormy night, the blonde had grabbed her car keys and drove away to the Hudson-Hummel's residence.

No one was there besides him when she rung the doorbell. She knew because she had stayed outside in her car waiting until Finn and Rachel finally left with Carole and Burt, out to eat or something. Kurt was with Blaine; she had checked. And when he opened the front door with a goofy grin and a raise of eyebrows, saying something like "Are you looking for Kurt? He isn't here...", Quinn felt like she could breathe for the first time since she got the letter.

He had held her hand while she read it. It was a friendly gesture, much like you do with your longtime best friend, but it still sent shivers all over her body. He had held her close and whispered a "Congratulations, I knew you'd get it" with a big smile when they had learned she was, yes, going to Yale... but it had also been very friendly, very respectful, much like everything he did to her nowadays. She wasn't complaining, though — anything coming from him was like a signal that her life was back on thrills.

The other day in Glee Club, when she'd told everyone the "big news", she caught his green eyes sparkling across the room. Even more than she had found in her own mother's look, his eyes were proud and happy. Truly happy. He did care about her. And that was what kept her going until now.

Maybe they weren't ever going to get together. Maybe he just didn't have romantic feelings towards her anymore, and maybe she was just looking for a reason to "stay up". But, anyway, anyhow, she had a smile on her lips that night after Breadstix.

It wasn't a satisfied, in love, happy, glad smile like the others had. It wasn't like she was oh so thankful with the life she was leading. Not like she was alright with all the events that night or anything like that... That was just her smile when it came to him, thinking about him.

That was just her Samuel Joseph Evans' smile. One just for him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, everyone! This is another Fabrevans fanfiction we've had in our drabbles for a while, and decided to post now. This was going to be a one-shot only, but since we have more free time now, we can make it a multi-chapter. I hope you guys like! It's set exactly after "Hearts", and it might or might not follow some of the facts that happened or the show, but we will see about that. This first chapter is just to explain the way we see Quinn's view on Sam Evans, and the way he was the only one that actually made her happy. Please, please review! We can't work without feedback because it just doesn't make sense. Reviews, suggestions, comments and etc are very welcome! If you'd like to see more of our stories, our Tumblr page is fabrayfanfics and all that jazz. Thank you for your time!