You've Always Had My Heart

This is my attempt to my first fanfiction. Its my first time so please dont judge. I don't own any of the Hunger Games, all to Suzanne Collins.

Chapter 1: How Do I Explain To Him?

Katniss' POV

As we move into the train, Peeta finds my hand and intertwines his fingers into mine. I look up to his boy-ish face. He grins and kisses my forehead. I smile at him. Peeta has been as kind to me and loving to me, I don't know what to do. I mean I know there's this part of me that cares for him deeply. I mean he is the boy with the bread, forever he will be that to me. But the problem is that he's in love wit me and I don't even know how to even begin with the word, love.

I mean, I do like Peeta. I mean who wouldn't? He's charming, funny, caring and compassionate of what he does. But when you realize him for real, you see the sweet gentleman he is, and the protective side of him that makes me stare at him in awe. Then you have to remember Peeta is handsome, I mean really attractive. He has that beautiful gold god-like hair, his sharp cheekbones, his sweet thin lips, softer than a feather, his broad chest sculptured with abs of a god. And to top it all of off, those beautiful, gorgeous like ocean eyes, his best feature. They're so serene and I feel safe.

His voice brings me back to life, his eyebrows up as he asked a me a question I didn't hear. I blurt out, "Excuse me, what?" Peeta laughs and I'm slightly embarrassed from my day dreaming. Haymitch patts my back and gives me a look, and tells Peeta, "God Peeta, let her be she just survived the Hunger Games." Haymitch looks at me and transfers his message through a look, "Tell the boy how you feel." I nod and I look up to Peeta's beautiful face, he asks, "Would you like to sit at the sitting room?" I nod and he leads us over there.

He finds a comfortable seat for both of us and lowers me to sit next to him. As I sit, he immediately wraps his arm on my shoulders. I stiffen in suprise, and he jolts back saying, "I'm sorry! Is that okay? My arm there?" I crack a smile, always the gentleman. I nod and he relaxes.

The train slowly begins to move and I finally take a breath. I relax into Peeta'embrace. I sigh, and her rubs my shoulder with his thumb. He says, "We're finally going home, nobody is going to bother us no more. Isn't it great?" I nod and decide I need to tell him before we get to District 12. I say, "Peeta?" He turns me and I know I have his full attention. I continue, "I need to get something off my chest, I-I-I-" He cuts me off, with concern on his face, "You what, Katniss?" I stop, and sigh, "Peeta, I'm not-" Effie cuts me off, "Katniss and Peeta, I need to speak to both to you! I need to-" She stops when she sees our position, she asks, "Did I interrupt something?" Peeta says, "Its ok, Effie. Katniss was going to tell me something." He looks at me smiling and I suddenly can't break his heart. Not here I can't. I lie, "I don't feel well, Peeta, can you get me a glass of water?" He wipes concern of his face, and says, "Yes, yes Kat anything for you." Effie says, "I can fix that." She calls and Avox to bring me a glass of water. She says, "There you go, Katniss. Drink." I smile weakly, and sip the water.

She sits across from us and I growl. I don't want her here. I wan't to be alone with Peeta. She starts, "Ok we will get to your district, and..." I lose her from there, and go to looking at Peeta. Effie blabs her head off and Peeta has her full attention. I stare at his blond eyelashes and defined cheekbones. The way his eyes flicker up and down, the way his blond hair moves when his head does. How I'm going to tell him, I can't love him because I'm afraid of any wrong move I make. I can't put him in harm's way.

Then my concience breaks its trance when I hear Peeta and see those blue eyes looking into my gray ones. He says, "Kat, you still there?" He chuckles, and I say, "Huh?" He kisses my forehead and Effie begins a fit, "God, Katniss can you please have a few manners, I swear-" Haymitch comes in and says, "Effie the kids are going home can you give them some privacy please. They're tired." She says, "Oh ok, but we will have this conversation." She leaves and I sigh of relief.

Peeta chuckles, and I say, "Sometimes I can't stand her." He frowns, "She's human just like you. Just because she was born in the Capitol, she's different." My stubborness wins over his words. "Still she's a Capotilite no." He shakes his head, and wears his beautiful smile. "I love your stubborness." I roll my eyes at him, and he reaches to my waist to pull me closer to him. He reaches one of my ticklish spots by accident and I laugh. He seems confused and then goes back to it. And I can't help but laugh again, "Peeta, stop it!" He grins, "Oh Katniss Everdeen, is ticklish?" I shake my head and laugh. He keeps tickling me, and I tell him to stop. He stops and I calm down, smiling like a fool. He wears the same face. I wish it can always be this way.

The train stops and the attendant says we are refueling the train. Peeta gives me a hand and he says, "Lets go out for air." We leave and walk hand in hand down the path of flowers. He goes down and sweeps up a bunch of wild flowers, gathers them in his hands. He then hands the bouquet to me, please with his work. I force a smile and try not to think that the flowers are actually wild onions, like the one's back home with Gale in the forest.

Gale, what am I going to tell him? I mean I've survived the Hunger Games! Just like he said. I look back at Peeta and say, "Thank you." And Haymitch appears and says, "Good job you both keep it up until we get back to District 12." I flinch when Peeta looks at me confused. The drunk leaves and I turn to Peeta.

He looks at me and says, "Do you know of what he's talking about?" I bite my lip and say it, "The Capitol didn't like our little stunt of poisonous berries." He asks, "So...?" I say, "Haymitch has been coaching me not to mess up." He says, "Coaching you but not me?"