I always knew it would end something like this. I've never been any good at following orders, or keeping my temper under control or, hell, any of the thousand or so things they tried to drill into my head in the academy about what makes a 'good soldier.' My fighting skills were my saving grace back then, making up for my shortcomings. They were even good enough to nab me a Vice Captain's armband. That's not bad, right? Not at all.
Even after that bastard Aizen corrupted us and we fled to the real world to avoid being executed by those *other* bastards in the Central 46 I kept fighting. First I beat the thing inside me. I faced down a monster with my face and my skills and I beat the shit out of it. Then, later, I fought my own zanpakuto and I made her my bitch, too.
Fighting has defined my life. I guess it's only fitting it define my death, too, just... not like this. When I imagined how I'd be killed –and for me it was always 'when,' never 'if'- it was a glorious last stand, me alone against an army of Menos that stretched out further than the eye could see. I'd have a zanpakuto in either hand, screaming my defiance from atop a mountain of those I'd already killed. But this… this…
I don't even really feel the blow that does it.
Aizen won't stop talking, but I'm done listening. Shinji warns me, but like I said, I've never been good with orders. Besides, he doesn't even have a rank anymore, so who the hell does he think he is, telling us what to do and trying to act all cool? I charge at Aizen, and damned if that fucker doesn't just watch me come, face all calm like he doesn't have a care in the world. Then there's this impact, like someone smacked me in the side and kept going.
It doesn't hurt. Not really. Or, I guess it's more like it hurts so much my brain just won't let me feel it. Doesn't make any difference in the end. All I know is that suddenly I'm falling. The first thing I think is "What the fuck is going on here," but then I look down and oh shit, my legs are gone, my fucking legs are gone, my whole lower body is gone and I'm bleeding out.
My vision goes all funny, black around the edges but I can see what's left crystal clear: I see Shinji screaming, and I distantly hear that it's my name he's calling. I see Gin Ichimaru, smiling like a well-fed serpent. I see Aizen, calm and sure, nodding approvingly.
Shinji swoops down and catches me. Dumbass, breaking formation like that. He's acting like me. I try to tell him that. I open my mouth but nothing will come out. Ironic, the one moment I can't talk I've never had more to say. I try again to speak, to tell Shinji I'm sorry, to spit a curse at Aizen, to plead to anyone who's listening that I don't want die, that I'm afraid, but now everything's gone black and I can't… I can't…
