Warning: This oneshot contains incest. In fact, it contains the more advanced version, twincest, and very mild boy-on-boy. If either of these things bother you, leave. NOW.
I'm in love with my devious little brother and it's killing me inside...
I've known him since we were born and we're inseparable, but I haven't realized until last night that I harbored...stronger feelings for him than brotherly love...
That moment when I discovered the truth...
"Anh...Ah...! Hi...karu..."
...I nearly had a heart attack. I bolted out of my bed, terrified. Did I...Did I just have a fantasy about Kaoru? I tried to shake the image out of my head but it was stuck. My face was burning up and I was drenched with sweat. Why did I just...What did this mean...?
"Hikaru?"
Another heart attack. My head snapped toward the direction of the voice. ...Oh, crap...
"K-K-Kaoru...!" I stammered. "W-When did you...? I mean..."
"I had a nightmare, so I snuck into your room," my little brother explained. "Oh, did I wake you?"
He gently reached for me with a worried expression but I instinctively backed away. I was at a loss for words at first. Kaoru was half-naked with only orange shorts to cover him. This was his normal bedtime attire, so why did I get so flustered?
"Not...really..." I muttered, trying my damnedest not to ogle. His large topaz eyes and messy auburn hair matched my own almost perfectly (he usually parted his hair to the left and mine to the right). His slender, pale body was completely blemish-free and I knew I would do anything to caress it...y'know, outside of the Host Club.
"Are you alright?" he stared questioningly at me and I assured him that I was until he gave up and went back to sleep. I sighed heavily. I knew what the dream meant but I tried to block the truth out of my mind. I...was in love...
...but I was ashamed of it.
...
Well, here I am now at Ouran Academy's Host Club. It takes place in an abandoned music room and is filled to the brim with young ladies from all over the gargantuan building. Our foolish lord, Tamaki, came up with the idea a while back and Kaoru and I agreed to join as a way of killing time. He and other members are using their individual charms to woo their clients. Tamaki-senpai is the idiotic narcissistic prince; Honey-senpai is the boy Lolita with an unnatural obsession with cute things; Mori-senpai is the silent dark horse who acts on instinct; Haruhi is a girl in disguise and the natural enchanter (and my former crush); Kyoya-senpai takes care of everything behind the scenes and is the cool one; and finally...there's me and Kaoru, the little devils. Because our king suggested it, we pretend to have an incestuous relationship in order to appeal to our more dirty-minded guests. We do this all the time, so I should be used to it, right? What's wrong with me?
"Um...Kaoru...Are you alright?" one of the female students sitting across from us asks while looking directly at me.
"I'm Hikaru," I correct her with a fake smile, "and please don't worry about me, my princess. I'd hate to see you upset..."
The girl buys it hook, line, and sinker as her face turns bright red. The clients behind her squeal with delight. Someone tugs onto my periwinkle school uniform's sleeve. It's Kaoru.
"Why are you flirting with all these girls in front of me?" he asks sadly as his large tearful eyes look up at me. I know he's acting (he even used eye drops earlier) but my heart begins to pound.
"Did you replace me? You're so mean..." he pouts. My eyes widen before I regain my composure and play along. I lightly place my hands on his cheeks and wipe the tears away with my thumb.
"Never..." I assure quietly. The girls, intrigued, lean closer. "No one can replace you, Kaoru."
"Hikaru..." he whispers. "Do you mean it?"
I do. I really, truly do. But I can't say that...It's immoral...wrong...but...
"Of course..." I still pretend that it's all an act, but it's becoming difficult. His innocent (looking) topaz eyes are staring at me and his pale lips are mere inches away from mine...
Before I know it, I lose control.
I can see Kaoru's eyes widen from either surprise or fear. I can hear our guests scream even louder than last time before fainting. Once I regain my common sense, I quickly pull away. I...just kissed him...We're closer than the average set of twins, but we've never kissed before. This is bad. Really bad. Come on, Hikaru, think of something!
"I...I, uh...Sorry, I slipped!" I practically shout at him. Smoooooth...
I can sense the other members' eyes piercing the back of my head as I shakily remove my hands from Kaoru's face. He's totally speechless and it's hard to tell what he's thinking. Oh, nice going. You let your emotions take over you again. Stupid, stupid!
"I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, ladies, but today's meeting has been cut short!" the king announces suddenly. The clients groan disappointedly.
"We'll be more than happy to extend tomorrow's meeting to make up for lost time," Kyoya-senpai adds while writing in his mysterious black book. The music room eventually empties, leaving only the Host Club members. They surround my and Kaoru's sofa with shocked or outraged expressions. Our flamboyant king has his clenched hands on his hips as he leans his upper body until his face is uncomfortably close to mine.
"Don't you think you're taking things a bit too far?" he wonders. "I mean, I understand the role I gave you two, but you are supposed to give the girls a show, not practice actual incest!"
"I said I slipped..." I mumble the lame excuse.
"Slipped? You 'slipped'?" the idiotic blond exclaims as he starts to panic. "Don't pretend you didn't do that on purpose, you Beelzebub brothers!"
"Oh come on, Tama-chan!" Honey-senpai states while clinging onto his stuffed rabbit. "Hika-chan's just showing how much he loves his brother!"
"Not the way you think..." Mori-senpai replies monotonously. Honey-senpai looks up at him inquisitively.
"Mori-senpai's right. Besides, Kaoru looks absolutely terrified," Kyoya readjusts his glasses as he says this. Terrified? I glance at my brother. He's trembling in his seat, mouth agape. What have I done? I mentally scold myself.
"...No..." he finally speaks, scaring everyone. "I'm just...a little surprised, that's all..."
"You didn't mind?" the other members except Kyoya-senpai cry out simultaneously.
"Wow...You two are even closer than we realized..." Haruhi smiles weakly. "If it's okay with you, Kaoru, then..."
My brother suddenly stands and walks toward the door. I'm the only one who goes after him. He didn't respond to Haruhi's comment, so does that mean he's okay with it or not?
...
The atmosphere at home is as awkward as it was at school...
"Welcome home, masters!" our twin maids state enthusiastically as usual. Kaoru ignores them and marches quickly to the stairs. Before he makes it too far I grab his wrist and force him to face me.
"Kaoru, please talk to me!" I beg. He still won't make eye-contact with me and he's shaking. "I...It was an accident, so...please..."
He stands there motionless for a short while. I want him to say something, anything. I even want him to yell at me, I don't care! Just...prove to me that I didn't screw up something great...
But he doesn't. He snatches his arm away, runs up the stairs and slams our bedroom door.
"Kaoru!" I shout, resisting the urge to cry. Please don't hate me Kaoru...Anyone but you...
I want to chase after him but I'm not sure what to do afterwards. I turn around and attempt to walk down the stairs but my legs give out on me. I slump onto the steps before burying my head into my hands. Dammit, Hikaru, how stupid can you be? Of course he wouldn't feel the same way! He expects me to protect him and to love him as a brother and I did that to him...
"You have a visitor, master!" my maids announce. I hear their footsteps as they approach me, so I lift my head to see who dropped by our mansion.
"Haruhi...?"
"Hey, Hikaru..." she forms a smile that used to make me swoon. "You guys ran off so I didn't have a chance to talk to you about what happened."
"I told you that I..." I begin.
"I'm not stupid. I saw the whole thing," she states, shutting me up. "I...kinda had a feeling that you liked him."
"You did?"
"Mhm."
"But it's...wrong, y'know? I can't...He's my brother..."
"Well, you can't help who you fall for, Hikaru. I mean, you two spent most of your lives depending only on each other. I think falling in love with him would come naturally."
You can't help who you fall for...It comes naturally...
Those words lifted a heavy burden in my heart. I'm grateful to you, Haruhi. Unlike the others, you support my forbidden love.
"Thanks," I say before seeing her off. I then look toward the stairway, take a deep, slow breath, and stroll toward our bedroom. I can do this. Just be calm...
Luckily he didn't lock the door so I invite myself in. He's lying on his bed the same way I did after my first fight with Haruhi. I remember it clearly; Kaoru stayed by my side and comforted me the entire time. I should do the same. I crawl onto the bed until I'm inches away from Kaoru. He doesn't move.
"Kaoru, I..." I start talking without getting my thoughts together. "...um...Well, I..."
"Hikaru, why did you kiss me?" he asks. He sure doesn't waste time...
"I-I-I didn't! It was an accident! Completely unintentional, I swear!" I state defensively.
"No it wasn't. I saw you close your eyes."
"I-I was bracing for impact!"
"The impact was pretty soft to me."
"I have great reflexes!" I quickly become frustrated. "Could you just drop it already?"
No response. I hear the ruffling of bed sheets as Kaoru turns onto his back. He's looking up at me with a heartbroken countenance. I feel a lump in my throat as his eyes begin to brim with tears.
"Kaoru...?"
"Sorry..." he mutters, shaking his head. He wipes the tears away but they're quickly replaced. "It's just...You know, I was confused at first...but...I was really warming up to the idea of us being closer...I...I really thought you wanted that...But...I guess I was wrong...If it meant nothing...then...I..."
His voice trails off. My heart sinks when I see his tears trail down his cheeks. He fervently wipes them away as he sobs quietly.
"No, you got it all wrong, Kaoru...I...I did kiss you...b-because I...y'know, care about you..." I confess, twiddling my fingers. My face is warm again and voice is shaky. "I-In fact...I...I care a lot about you...And...not as a brother...or a friend...I...I love you as Kaoru..."
"Hikaru..." his topaz eyes widen for a second before his crying suddenly ceases and lips curl into our famous 'We Fooled You' grin. "So you didn't 'slip', hm?"
...I instantly see a tiny bottle of eye drops on his nightstand from my peripheral vision. That son of a...
"Wh...But...You were faking this whole time?" I snap, yanking him toward me by his shirt.
"It was the only way that I could force the truth outta you," he shrugs. "You suck at expressing your feelings."
B...But I'm supposed to be the eviler one!
"You jerk! I thought you were upset with me!"
"Ahaha, sorry..." he chuckles before averting his eyes and blushing slightly. So...cute... "Although...I really was embarrassed when you kissed me in front of everyone...Next time, let's do it privately, okay?"
Let's do it privately, okay?
Let's do it privately...
Let's do it...
Do it...
I nearly faint when he says this with such an adorable expression. Does this mean he loves me too? I can't believe it...I've never felt so happy before.
"S-Sure!" I stammer. "H...How about now?"
"Hikaru!" he looks surprised at first but then smiles warmly and nods. This time, he ambushes me. His pale lips gently press against mine and I immediately forget my doubts...my morals...my friends' harsh words...All I think about is being Kaoru's forever. As I lay him on the bed, I give in to my desire to make my dream from last night a reality.
I'm in love with my devious little brother...and I think I'm okay with that.
