This story's based on the song I'm Not The Only One by Sam Smith
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN KHR! NOR I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
You and me made a vow
For better or for worse
It's probably the happiest moment in this complicated life of mine. The time when Hibari Kyoya confessed to me.
"Herb- Tsunayoshi, when I saw you only one thing came to my mind: this boy's going to be trouble. And trouble you brought. So I kept a close eye on you. But as I watch you every day, I didn't notice I'm slowly and painfully falling for you. I didn't want it to happen but whenever I look at you, something tells me it feels so right to love you. Please go out with me?" He begged. Yes, the great Hibari Kyoya begged. And who am I to refuse? I've been waiting for this since forever!
"Yes. I will." He looked surprise then he hugged me so tight.
"I promise to cherish you, my Tsunayoshi. I'll only love you and only you."
"As do I, Kyouya. You have my heart. Please don't break it."
I can't believe you let me down
But the proof's in a way it hurts
We were so happy. Every day was bliss. Everyone accepted us and they're happy for us though I had a hard time convincing Gokudera-kun to not bomb the school and Kyouya's house.
I thought it will always be like that. Love, happiness and a few what others called cute little quarrels. But I thought wrong. I noticed Kyouya drifting. I'll find him spacing out when we're together. Before, he'll pick up the phone when I call him, immediately. But now? I'll have to call him 3 to 4 times and when he answers, his voice seemed tired and irritated.
Monday afternoon. While I was waiting for him at his office, his phone rang. I took a peek and saw the name "Mia Anello di Firmamenta" It doesn't take a second for me to know that it means "My Sky Guardian" because I've been studying Italian for the past months. I frowned and a bit hurt at the name. who is that? Then the door swung open and I saw Kyouya.
I smiled at him. He came to me and kiss my cheek when I saw something heart-breaking on his neck. When he stood up, the vanishing bluish violet hickey was hidden. No, I didn't give that one. I never did that to him. Unless.. No. Kyouya won't do that. It's not a hickey. Not a hickey. No. no. no.
Stupid. Of course it is! And according to the color, it's at least two days old and two days ago, I called him and heard him panting. He tried hard to not pant but I heard it.
"Kyouya."
"Hm?" He asked from his papers.
"Are you okay? You know you can tell me everything."
He looked at me with those steel gray eyes with a confused and hesitant look. But he only shook his head.
"It's nothing. I'm fine."
And I made myself believe that. I forced myself to forget the pain I felt and made myself believe that.
For months on end I've had my doubts
Denying every tear
I wish this would be over now
But I know that I still need you here
It's been months since I've started suspecting him of having another affair. I'm not that stupid, you know? The signs are all there. The pants whenever I call, those hidden hickeys, the lesser time, the guilt in those eyes I love and the hidden looks they share. But I refuse to make myself believe it. I love him so much, you know? True that I'm breaking whenever I know he's lying but I also feel complete when I'm with him. People started to notice but I never say a thing. I always we're okay even if I know we're not.
It's when I saw him sitting at my bed that day that I felt something snapped. He's there in MY bed, sitting while talking to someone in his phone. He didn't notice me standing behind the almost closed door because he's busy.
"Yeah. I love you too. Take care alright?" Oh no. Oh no.
"Bye." I stopped myself from crying. I went down to get a drink from the kitchen and composed myself. As Reborn always say, a good boss never show any weakness. They must stay calm to think rationally. And so I did.
I walked upstairs, loudly this time for him to know my arrival. Then I forced a smile at him. I walked to where he was and sat beside him. He held my hand. I looked at him, trying to force my pain and anger out. Then I smiled again.
"Ne Kyouya, do you know two of the kinds of people I despise the most?" His eyes flashed a confused look and shook his head.
"No. What are those?" I snaked my hands on his neck and pulled a little closer.
"I despise liars." I said softly while still smiling. I pulled him closer and he snaked his arms in my waist. "And cheaters." I whispered in his ear. I felt him stiffen. I kissed his cheek tenderly and I felt him relax. Then he proceeded to kiss me, passionately. Like he loves me and I almost puke at it. But held myself together. 'He loves you, Tsuna. He promised he'll only love you. Believe him.' I kept on chanting in my mind.
But as he kisses me, I feel myself breaking slowly. The walls I createdare now crumbling. And one thing's on my mind: how long can I keep up?
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
Every fucking day hurts knowing I'm being lied to and cheated upon by my lover and my big brother. Yes. He's cheating on me with Dino fucking Cavallone. The two people I thought were not capable of doing this behind my back. The two people I knew I can trust the most. The two people I respected and loved so much. The two people who I thought will never stab me. And the Big Brother whom I thought cares for me so much to the extent where he's willing to kill just because someone made me cry. But I guess Lady Destiny and Lady Luck thought it's fun to ruin my life.
"You're cheating on me, Kyouya. Don't say you're not because I'm right." I said calmly after confronting him in his office. I saw them kissing outside Kyouya's house when I was about to go there and visit him because he was sick. Right there and then, I wanted to go berserk. I wanted to shout, to scream my pain, to cry and to… Die. And I heard Kyouya say 'My Sky'. Kyouya always call me that. Now I know. I'm not the only one he calls that. He may be my cloud but I was never his sky. He is my cloud but he belongs to another sky.
"Stop it! You know I'm not. It's just your over-active mind. I'll never do that!"
I shook my head. 'I don't know why you still continue to lie to me when you know in yourself that what I'm saying is true.'
Only a fool would forgive him but I guess I am one. Because I love him so much I'm willing to take him back. So I did what I thought was right.
"I'm sorry, Kyouya. Please forgive me. I'm just pressured with everything right now." I said tenderly as I embraced him while my hand thread through his soft ebony hair.
"You know I love you, Tsunayoshi. You're my only sky." Stop. Stop calling me that. You've already broke me. Stop calling me that. I might break again and I'm afraid that I won't be fixed again.
You've been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
Your heart is unobtainable
Even though everyone knows you kept mine
It had been months since that one again. And Kyouya's been nowhere in sight like he's been avoiding me. And I know why. If you ask me before if what's happening, I might've said "Nothing, we're okay." But if you ask me now, "Oh, just some unfixable things." And you would know from my eyes the pain I'm feeling. The burden I'm carrying is so heavy that I think it's going to be hard containing myself.
And then everything just burst. I was sitting on the swing when I've realized how pathetic I've became. Kyouya was my getaway. He keeps mafia things away from my mind even if it's just a couple of hours. He was my grip to sanity when the pressure of being a mafia boss becomes too heavy. I would always run to him and he would embrace me. And he would love me. And he would take away the burden. And he would pull me back my mind to the right path.
Then the pain was too unbearable.
And so I cried.
That's when the rain decided to come down and kiss my cheeks and wipe the tears away. And I cried there. Alone.
Until someone unexpected came to me and offered warmth.
I saw a blur of indigo and green. And when I felt those strong gentle and warm arms, I felt the rain stopped caressing my skin. And all I can feel was the comfort of my Mist.
"Stop crying now, Tsunayoshi-kun. The rain won't stop if the Sky is sad." He said soothingly while rubbing my back in circles.
I forced myself to stop but I can't.
"I'm sorry but I can't stop my tears. These tears are my pain and I can't stop my pain." I said between sobs. Then through my tear-blurred eyes, I saw an invisible dome-like around us, shielding us from the cold rain. I felt him tighten his hugs.
"Then I guess I have to make an exception. Now, Tsunayoshi-kun, I won't force you to tell me your problems but I will let you cry to your heart's content." He made the soil dry and he materialized a sofa then I felt a towel around me. He carried me as he sat at it while he cradles me in his lap.
I did what he said. I cried and cried until my tear ducts dried. The rain's sound was muffled. Then I heard Mukuro humming a song.
"What's that song?" My voice came out hoarse. He petted my hair.
"It's I'm Not the Only One." He smiled at me. His mismatched eyes glowed gentleness I didn't know he have. Before I can answer, we heard someone shouted.
"Juudaime! Where are you?" Gokudera-kun shouted while holding an umbrella. His voice was muffled too.
"Oya? It seems that our little time is finished, little Tuna." He said and I felt the disappointment in that silky smooth voice.
"No. I can't face them yet. Can you make an illusion of me?" He said yes and then I saw myself walking to Gokudera and they walked home.
"You're very comforting, Mukuro. I didn't know." I teased him.
"Kufufu~ You won't know because you choose that stupid birdy. You won't know because you never called me through your times of pain." His voice laced with pain and bitterness. And I felt sorry.
"Yeah. It's because I'm stupid." Mukuro joked and I felt my heart lighten with what he's doing. He never asked me my problem. He just let me cuddle in his lap until we both decided it's time to go."
"Just call my name when you need me. I'll be there. I'll come and save you, Tsunayoshi." He told me when we materialized at my room. He removed the Tsuna-illusion.
"Thank you, Mukuro. I promise. Just one time. Last time I'll ever make a fool out of myself." He smiled at me and then he kissed my forehead. I blushed at his actions.
"Goodnight, my little Tuna." And with that, he vanished. I went to take a bath then went to sleep.
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
Today's our anniversary and I'm planning a surprise on Kyouya. As I walked down the empty halls of Nami-chuu, my intuition is banging at my head to not go. I shrugged it off. It's Nami-chuu, what could happen, right? I baked him his favorite green tea flavored cake. I know, it's weird right? I was humming the song Mukuro hummed weeks ago. Then I laughed humorlessly at the irony.
'I'm not the only one, huh?' Then I laughed again at how the lyrics fit me. Fit us.
Then I opened the door to the Reception Room and what I saw made me break into sands. There at the sofa sat a half-naked Hibari Kyouya and a half-naked Dino Cavallone. I felt numb. I felt dizzy and I didn't even notice that the cake I was holding dropped from my grasp. I choked on my own breathe. I can imagine my eyes wide as a saucer. Then I felt the hot liquid wanting to erupt from the corner of my eyes. I saw Kyouy- no, Hibari move towards me while Dino remained seated, shocked, too. I wanted to run away but my feet won't obey. I wanted to move my hands and punch them but my hands remained open numbly at my sides. I wanted to go to Hyper Dying Will Mode so I could blast them away. Away from then I would fly and leave my pain to the ground but my entire system felt numb.
Then I felt my body being shaken. 'Stop it! You might break me over to atomic particles!' I wanted to say to the person shaking me but I can't seem to feel my tongue. Then I felt the hot liquids cascade down my cheeks and someone was wiping them away.
That's when I felt the blood rushed to my every being. Then I saw the people I despise the most. Their faces in mixed emotions: concern, regret, pain, shame… love.
I slapped the hands on my face.
"Don't touch me with your dirty hands," I looked at the person," Kyouya."
"Tsunayoshi, we can explain. We didn't mean it to hap-"
"You didn't mean it to happen when it's already happening for almost a year?" I said, exasperated. I maintained my calm composure but my eyes shouts what I want to do. They seemed shocked to what I said. "What? You didn't think I would find out? You think I'm stupid enough to not notice the fucking signs? Surely you can hide your fucking infidelities better than that." I said. My voice becoming higher.
"Little brother, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just dragged Kyouya along. It's okay if you won't forgive me but you must forgive Kyouya. He really do loves you." Dino cried and I felt the truth in his voice but my mind was already filled with pain and anger that I didn't heed to what he's saying.
"I'm not your little brother anymore, Cavallone. And I don't care whose fault is which because I'm so fed up with your fucking terrible lies and I'm so fucking tired pretending everything is still okay when I know no shit is okay." I said. My cool and composure gone and I'm literally growling now.
"Tsunay-" I punched him in his jaw that sent him flying in the wall.
"Don't you fucking call me casually you shit. I don't know what I ever did to you to treat me this way! I know in myself I don't deserve these. I told everyone it's okay and it's fine because I don't want them to hate you when they found out that my brother and my boyfriend are fucking behind mine and everybody's back when they think no one's looking! I ENDURED THIS FAR BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU TWO WOULD GET BACK TO YOUR SENSES AND EITHER END THIS OR BE TRUE TO ME! TO US! I SEALED THE LITTLE PRIDE I HAD LEFT AWAY JUST TO ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING WHEN THE TRUTH IS SCREAMING AT ME CLAWING AT MY FACE LIKE AN ANIMAL TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION!"
I breathed in and out to calm my nerves but this is no time to be calm.
I cried and I tugged at my hair as I flopped down the floor. Dino was still crying while Hibari was crying silently.
"Tsunayoshi. Don't. You'll injure yourself." I heard Hibari said to me softly and I cried again.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I screamed long, loud and hard until I felt my vocals snapped.
"I knew I'm not the only one." I said calmly but with my cries and hoarse voice, it turned shaky.
"You lied. You broke my heart. You don't deserve me. Yet I still love you." I saw a glimmer of pain and hope on those commonly-icy-but-now-broken-and-crying eyes I love. "But goodbye." I whispered but enough for them to hear.
Then I dashed. I heard them calling my name but I never looked back. I don't know where to go. Then I remembered.
'Just call my name when you need me. I'll be there. I'll come and save you, Tsunayoshi.'
"MUKURO! Please save me! I beg of you!"
I heard them running before me. Then I bumped to someone. And from the cloudy thing surrounding his feet, I already knew who he is. And so I hugged him.
He embraced me too and tilted my chain so he could see my face. He frowned when he saw my tears and he wiped them away. His gloves are not there. Then he leaned in and kissed me. Just in time for the two to see it.
"Tsunayoshi." His whisper brought another surge of pain.
"Oya, oya. Seems like you've been found out. And how shameless of you to display your infidelity in my face." Mukuro said.
"Mukuro, take me away."
"No Tsunayoshi. No, please. Forgive me. I'm begging you!" I turned around to see his pained face before the mist took our figure to my home.
10 YEARS LATER
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
The song plays from the stereo as one tall man looks outside his window. Below, he can see his Boss, his life and his love playing with their son.
"Kit, come here!" The man said.
"He is really happy now. Don't you think?" A man with fedora walked beside him.
"Yes. And I'm happy too."
"MUKURO KIT SAWADA ROKUDO! Drop that poor lady bug down. Your Papa's gonna be home in a moment now. You don't want to greet him in that paint splashed shirt, do you?" They heard the brunette in formal suit shout at their son.
Yes. Rokudo Mukuro's and Sawada Tsunayoshi's son.
Not his, Hibari Kyouya's son.
"Okay! Coming Dad!"
So? How's it?
