A/N: Heyo all!^^ Long time no see, eh? Anyways, here's my short 'lil Halloween ficcie, I just HAD to write something Halloween, I wasn't gonna go on forever without writing anything! Anyways, hope you guys enjoy.^^

*'lil sis appears outta nowhere, glaring evilly at Katy*

Katy: Oh yeah! My sis co-authored the fic, so if you got some rude things to say about it, blame my sis! XD

My sis: ;; THIS is the respect and thanks I get for helping others…

Disclaimer: I dun own Hamtaro or any of the scenes I got from Mickey's House of Villains, so dun sue me, but you may sue my sis all you want! ^^

My sis:…I really don't like you….-_-'

**Ghost Lessons**

*****

Dexter (Narrator): *off screen* (the narrator will ALWAYS be off screen) Good evening ladies and geltlehams. I am Dexter Hamham, your ghost teacher for the night. Tonight we will be looking at how to turn an ordinary ham ham into a *tries to sound all scary and crap* creepy ghost ham….ooooooh! *thunder is heard and lightning flashes* Ahem…*clears throat* The first step to becoming a ghost ham is to…well…become a ghost. Lets go check on our victim…er…I mean our student, shall we?

__STEP ONE: BECOMING A GHOST__

Howdy (victim/student): *is sitting in an armchair reading a newspaper*

Dexterl: Ah yes…Howdy…our victim, hehehe-er…STUDENT! O_O Uh…let's just watch closely as he completes the first step…

Howdy: *hums merrily to himself; gets up, folding newspaper and leaving it on armchair; puts on hat and walks out door…crashing sounds are heard outside; loud explosion and Howdy's painful scream;*

Dexter:…uh…okay…right…*clears throat nervously*

Howdy (now a ghost): *walks back in merrily, and puts hat back; notices camera* Hey…who're you?! O_O

Dexter: Oh…we're just here giving out ghost lessons…you being the ghost.

Howdy: O.O WHAT?! I'M A GH-GH-GH…..A DARN PHANTOM!?

Dexter:…well…yes. But, it's for a good cause…you get to scare someone.

Howdy:…hm…not a bad idea….okay partner! You got yourself a deal!

Dexter: Okay, step one complete! Now onto step two!

__STEP TWO: CREEPY LAGHTER__

Dexter: In order to scare the fur off of other ham hams, you have to know how to laugh really creepy like. For example…*plays tape*

Tape player: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*loud screams are heard in background*-*Dexter cuts tape player off* Now you try Howdy…

Howdy:…*clears throat*…bw-ha-ha-ha-ha…is that good?! Did I do good?!

Dexter:…uh…no…this time, put the 'has' in the laughter together.

Howdy: Okay! Bwahahahaha….how was THAT for an evil laugh…huh? Huh?!

Dexter…well…better then the first…but…you know…say it more loud.

Hody: Okay…*clears throat* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dexter: GOOD! GOOD! Now we're ready for step three!

__STEP THREE: FINDING THE RIGHT HAUNTED HOUSE__

Dexter: Everyone knows that good scary ghosts live in big scary haunted houses. To spot a good haunted house you need to look somewhere with a big field that leads up to a big mansion. The mansion must be dark and the sky surrounding it should be pitch black all the time with lightning flashing every once in a while.

Howdy: Oh! That there looks like a haunted house! *points 'lil ham size haunted house in the window of a toy store with a fake paper sky behind it and crappy horror music playing on tape play*

*tape player breaks and tape pops out*

Dexter:…well…not exactly what we had in mind but…I guess it'll do.

Howdy: Hurrah! *flies right through glass*

*Camera crashes into glass and groans are heard from behind*

Dexter: Over there you butthead! *camera looks over at small opening through wall; goes through it*

__STEP FOUR: CHOOSING YOUR VICTIM__

-game show setting-

Dexter: Welcome to our game show, where you get to pick your victim! Our ghost of the night is Howdy!

*audience applause*

Dexter: Alright Howdy, here are our three vict-CONTESTANTS!

Voice Outta Nowhere Dude (aka VOND): Here's our first contestant: He's the field hamster with a helmet, has an X for a bellybutton and has the biggest crush on Bijou-Boss!

Bijou (from the audience): *faints*

Boss: *turns all red* Doh! I don't even believe in ghosts anyways…

VOND: Here's our next contestant: His hobbies are skateboarding and dancing, he has a younger twin sister, and he's always being rejected by da ladies! Stanley!

Stan: It's Stan yo! And the ladies don't reject ME, I reject THEM!… and I'm not afraid of ghost.

Sandy (in audience): Boo! You suck Stan! That's SO not true, you're afraid of your own shadow! *throwing rotten tomatoes at him*

VOND: And last but surely not least: He's big for his age, has a huge appetite and a love for sunflower seeds: Oxnard!

Oxnard: *shivering; gulps* Please don't pick me…I-I-I don't like ghosts.

Hamatro: Yay! Go Oxy! WOOT, WOOT, WOOT!! *waves banners around smacking several hamhams upside the head accidentally and without noticing*

Dexter: Alright Howdy, it's time for you to choose. Is it gonna be, 1.) Boss, 2.) Stan, or 3.) Oxnard?

Howdy:…um…hm…*thinking*

*time ticking: tick, tock, tick, tock…*

Howdy: BOSS! *audience claps as Stan sulks and Oxnard cheers*

Dexter: Okay! Next step!

__STEP FIVE: BEING FREAKY__

Dexter: Ahem…heke…is the camera rolling? *camera nods* okay! We've now reached step five, entering the haunted house we've chosen all scary-like, but before we go on with our lesson let's take a look at our victim that we're going to try to scare.

*Camera films a very happy Boss going up to mansion*

Dexter: Okay! So let's be freaky! Our first method is the classic 'door opening by itself method'.

-at front door, inside the mansion-

*Boss knocks on door*

Howdy: *becomes invisible and opens door*

Boss: Wow! Automatic doors! Amazing, I should get one for the clubhouse…*enters all happy-like*

Howdy:….o.O…he…but…the door…humph! .

Dexter: Now, now, take it easy. That was only the first one, let's try the next method: 'weird thumping sounds'

-at fireplace-

Boss: *sitting in armchair, reading a book*

Howdy: *starts knocking on wall*

Boss:…*still reading*…

*thump, thump, thump*

Boss:…*reading*…

*thump, thump, THUMP*

*…he's still reading…*

Howdy: ARHG! @_@ *THUMP! THUMP! THUMPITY THUMP!*

….*nope, still reading*

Howdy: WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON?! *looks over at Boss* Oh….perfect! That explains it!

Boss: *wearing earmuffs*

Dexter:…uh…let's try our next method…the 'lights going out by themselves' method.

-in bedroom-

Boss: *reading another book in his room*

Howdy: *turns light off*

Boss: *claps and light goes back on*

Howdy: *turns light off again*

Boss: *turns on lamp*

Howdy: *breaks lamp*

Boss: *gets flashlight out*

Howdy:…grr…*snatches flashlight*

Boss: *turns light on construction helmet*

Howdy:…GRR… *getting WAY pissed; knocks helmet off his head*

Boss: *lights candle*

Howdy: *blows out candle*

Boss: *gets out of bed and flips the circuit…breaker…thing…yeah*

Howdy: GAH!

Dexter: Um…we…we still have one more method…it's sure to at least get him to notice you…heh…uh…the 'scary noise in his room method'…heh…yeah.

-in lit up bedroom again; Boss is still reading-

Howdy: *pops up next to Boss's bed* BOO!

*nothing happens*

Howdy: *grumbles and laughs all evilly*

*nothing*

Howdy: *breaks a bunch of glass stuff*

*nothing*

Howdy: *brings in marching band*

*nothing*

Howdy: *lights up firecrackers in room*

*nothing*

Howdy: *makes lotsa other noises*

*still nothing*

Howdy: WHAT THE (beeeeeeeeeeeeep)!!!!???? WHY DOESN'T HE GET SCARED?!

*camera closes in on the book that Boss is reading: "How to Sleep With Your Eyes Open"*

Boss: *eyes wide open* O_O *snores*

Howdy:….GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR……*explodes* Gah! I can't take it much longer! *goes insane and starts pulling out his fur; crawls over to Boss's bed all desperate-like* I give up!

Boss: *wakes up* heke? *sees Howdy* O.O AAAAAAH! GHOST! *panics*

Howdy: No! It's just meh! Howdy! *they run around all over the place*

Boss: I'm outta here! *runs outside…crashes explosions are heard; Boss screams*

Howdy: o.o Oh my…

Boss: *comes in; is a ghost too* You're gonna pay for this….

Howdy: Hey! Now you're a ghost too!

Boss: I don't wanna be a ghost!

Howdy:…you get to scare the fur offa ham hams…

Boss:….hm…hey, that sounds like fun! Okay!

****

Dexter: And THAT ladies and gentle hams is how to be good ghost. Until next Halloween…good night, don't let the bed bugs bite…literally.

THE END

Dexter:…you still rolling?…yes? Well shut it off already! *camera shuts off*

Okay…now THE END

*****

A/N:…heh…guess it's not so short. Well, hope you enjoyed, although it sucked like crap, oh well.^^ Please R/R, flames excepted, remember, any rude comments, then my sis is the person to complain to.^^

My sis: would ya shaddup already?! *throws lolipop at Katy*

Katy: Hey! O_O You can't treat your older sister like that!

My sis:…It's a free country. ;; *leaves the place as mysteriously as she came in*

Katy:…Oh…oh well! See ya all around! Bye-Q!^^

Have a happy…erm…scary Halloween! Heh…^^;; *gives everyone candy…well…chocolate coded sunflower seeds actually*

Final note: Meh! Sorry Numbuh 7! I know I promised some S/M-ness…but…I didn't put any…meh…sowwy! @_@