Title: In My Life
Author: Kelley
Category: J/D
Rating: PG-13 to R
Disclaimers: I own neither any TWW characters/stories nor any part of the Beatle's catalogue of songs. Though if wishing made it so…
Feedback: You know you want to tell me what you thought of my story so just go on ahead and do it.
Notes: This is the sixth story in my "Love" series and it follows "And So It Goes". The background for this story is it is the year 2005 and Josh and Donna have been married for about three years. They have two daughters, eight year-old Emma and two year-old Natalie. Emma is the biological child of Donna and Dr. Freeride who came to live with Josh and Donna shortly after they got engaged. President Bartlet resigned after Abbey died in 2004 and Josh is now a United States Senator from Connecticut, with Toby as his C.o.S. Sam is estranged from Josh and he is running for Governor of California aided by CJ and Leo. Donna has an older sister and a younger brother, Nicole and T.J. Nicole is involved with Toby and T.J. is married to Ellie Bartlet; together they have a one and a half year-old son, Shawn. Josh's closest friend in Congress is a representative from Atlanta named Bobby Harrington. It is Christmas of 2005 and Donna is currently three and a half months pregnant.
Manchester, New Hampshire: December 25, 2005The soft rays of sunlight began to filter their way into the bedroom, casting a golden hue across the room and it's occupants. Shielding her eyes from the bright light, Donna nestled herself further into Josh's embrace, her mind languidly stirring itself into consciousness. As she remembered what day it was, she groaned inwardly at all the work she was going to have to accomplish before the girls woke up.
'What do I need to do this morning?' she thought slowly, idly stroking Josh's upper arm. 'Get up, finish the stockings, find the Christmas music, start breakfast… that's it I think. Am I forgetting something?' Almost at once, she felt a sensation in the pit of her stomach; a sensation she'd been forced to grow accustomed to, and her eyes flew open. 'Oh right, I have to throw up,' she managed to think as she leapt out of bed, completely forgetting about her husband as she raced to the bathroom. Basically collapsing onto the floor in front of the toilet, she emptied out what was left of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. "This kid is already driving me insane," she mumbled, leaning back against the tub when she was done.
"But you have no one to blame but yourself," Josh quipped, surprising her as he came into the room. He poured her a glass of water and handed it to her, sitting down next to her on the floor.
"You helped," she accused him as she rinsed out the acidic taste from her mouth.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and tugged her down so her head lay on his chest. Donna had been running herself ragged the past couple of weeks to get Christmas ready for the girls, as she always did each year, but it was tougher on her this year with the pregnancy. "You okay?" he asked her, kissing the crown of her head.
"I'll live," she sighed, tracing random patterns on Josh's tee shirt. "I just forgot how much the first trimester wears me out. I never remember being this sick with either of the girls."
"Did you talk to Helen about it?" he asked her, referring to her OB-GYN and good friend, Helen Harrington. Donna had had an appointment with her two days ago, before they left for Manchester.
"She just said that every pregnancy is different and that the baby and I are okay," she answered quickly, not meeting Josh's eyes. As if that was going to fool him.
"And…" he hedged, tilting her chin up to look at him.
Hesitating, she finally admitted, "But if it keeps up, after the holidays, she wants to check me into the hospital."
He pulled back and looked at her, a little stunned. "Why is this the first I'm hearing about it?"
"Because it's Christmas, you've been working a lot, and we were getting ready to come up here," Donna listed, trying to defend herself. "I just thought--"
"Just thought that the health of my wife and child meant nothing to me?" Josh asked crossly. He pulled his arm off her and stood away from her.
Donna hung her head, sorry that her actions had gotten him this upset. "I'm sorry," she apologized, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. 'Hormones; I hate hormones,' she thought bitterly as she felt the waterworks begin. "I didn't think…I was just…I'm sorry."
Having no counter-argument whatsoever for seeing Donna in tears, Josh calmed down and went to pull her into his arms again. "It's okay," he whispered in her ear, rubbing her back as her tears ebbed away. "I know you meant well but you gotta tell me these things, Donna, so I can help you and the baby; that's my job." He rocked her carefully back and forth for a couple of minutes as they both relaxed. "What did Helen tell you to do to get better?"
"Nothing," she said, pulling back and wiping her eyes. "Just minimal stress and to try to rest as much as possible."
"Okay then, you're going to bed and you're staying there today," Josh declared, tugging her up gently.
"Josh, I can't. It's Christmas," she argued, weakly struggling against him.
"I don't care what day it is, you're staying in bed all day and there isn't a damn thing you can do about," he asserted, pulling back the covers and carefully forcing her onto the bed to lie down.
"What about the girls?" she argued, even as she felt her body begin to sink back into the mattress. "They need to spend Christmas with both their parents."
"We'll do the presents and all that later today, with you, so they won't be scarred irreparably for life."
"Joshua Lyman…" she began to threaten as she tried to push herself up into a sitting position.
"No," he said firmly, grasping her shoulders as he sat in front of her. He could see how tired she really was and he cursed her damned stubbornness. "What the girls need is for you to be healthy and strong this Christmas so that next Christmas they can spend it with their baby brother."
"You want a boy this time?" Donna asked him as she lay back down, knowing that he was right but hating being so weak at the same time.
He rested his hand on her stomach, rubbing the slight protrusion that had begun to form. She may have been experiencing a bad bout of morning sickness but it had definitely not affected her appetite or weight gain. "I want a healthy baby in my arms in about six more months," he told her, climbing over her legs to spoon her from behind, never relinquishing his hold on her stomach. "And if it happens to come out of you with a penis, than so be it."
"I think a boy might be nice," Donna whispered dreamily, resting her head on the pillow. Her eyes, of their own accord, started to droop close. She felt Josh's breath flutter the hair on the back of her neck and the gentle caressing of his hand on her stomach was lulling her back into sleep. "I think Xavier will be a nice change."
"Xavier?" Josh questioned, kissing her neck. "Who's that?"
"Our son," she replied, yawning. "Our baby boy, Xavier Noah Evan Josiah Tomasso Tobias Lyman."
"Might want to trim that name down a little bit."
"He's gonna look exactly like you," Donna continued, rolling blindly over to face her husband. She rubbed his stubbled-cheek affectionately. "With your hair, your eyes, your dimples, your nose…"
"What if it's another girl? What's her name, or names, gonna be?"
"Audrey Joan Lyman," she whispered, snuggling deeper into the covers.
Josh kissed her shoulder tenderly. "That's beautiful," he murmured into her skin. "Who's she going to look like?"
"A mix of your mom and your sister," Donna said, visibly fading off.
"How do you know all this?" he questioned, gently kissing her closed eyelids.
"Mother's intuition," she mumbled as her breathing began to even out and she fell back to sleep.
Gazing at his wife in the light of the morning, Josh was always struck by the image of the sunlight basking against her pale skin and blonde hair. He always thought Donna was at her most beautiful in these moments, completely serene and totally oblivious from the outside world. Nothing could disturb her, nothing at all.
"Mommy!" an excited voice called from outside their door. "Mommy!"
Gently easing away from his dozing wife, he tiptoed over to the door and opened it to find Natalie standing outside in her bright red footy pajamas. "Shh," Josh whispered, putting a finger to his lips as he pointed into the room to Donna's resting form. "Mommy's a little sleepy right now."
"Shh," Natalie copied him, nodding in agreement and reaching his hand.
"That's right," he smiled at her as he softly closed the door behind him while Natalie led him away.
"Santa came?" she asked him impatiently.
"Yes, Santa came," he told her, smiling as she started bouncing up and down eagerly in her pleasure.
"Emmy!" she called out to her sister, who was standing in the doorway of her bedroom in her robe and slippers. "Santa came! Santa came!"
"I know, all the presents are out by the tree already!" the older girl revealed gleefully. She went to hug her father. "Merry Christmas Daddy."
"Merry Christmas honey," he replied, giving her a long kiss on the top of her head.
"Can we have breakfast now? Just us, before everyone else wakes up?" Emma pleaded, jutting out her lower lip.
"Absolutely, anything my little girl wants."
Emma pulled back and looked up at him, annoyed. "I'm eight years old, Daddy," she informed him haughtily. "I am not a little girl anymore." She glanced around the hallway. "Where's Mommy?" she asked.
"Mommy sleepy," Natalie chimed in.
"On Christmas morning?" Josh saw the worry flash through Emma's eyes. "Is she okay?" she asked quietly, turning away from her sister.
"Yeah, she's fine," Josh reassured his daughter, hoping to misdirect her. They hadn't told the girls about the baby yet. In fact, they hadn't told many people yet. Helen knew, obviously, and they'd told Jed last night when he'd accidentally found Josh and Donna going through a book of baby names in one of the studies. "She hasn't been feeling very well lately so she's kind of tired right now."
"She's tired a lot lately," Emma commented. "She goes to bed really early now."
"That's why she needs to sleep right now, so she can feel better and stronger," he tried to explain. "And if it's all right with you guys, we're going to open presents later today, when she's awake."
"But we always open them in the morning!" Emma whined.
"They'll still be there this afternoon," Josh tried to placate his daughter. "And it'll mean a lot to your Mommy if we wait for her."
"But Daddy…" she tried again but Josh cut her off.
"Emma Antonia, you will open your presents later this afternoon or you won't open them at all. Is that clear?" He told her firmly, in a voice that meant there would be no more argument.
"Yes Daddy," she nodded contritely. "We'll open all the presents later with Mommy."
"Presents, presents!" Natalie chanted as they made their way down the staircase to the kitchen.
"No, no later sweetheart," Josh explained as he sat her in her booster seat at the table. "We'll open them later when Mommy feels better."
"How come she doesn't feel well?" Emma questioned as she sat on one of the kitchen chairs.
Josh set about starting to make some breakfast for them before he answered, "Sometimes people just don't feel very well, that's all."
"But she hasn't felt well for a while and people are only sick for a couple of days usually." Emma eyed her father very carefully. "You're sure Mommy's not sick?"
"I'm positive that Mommy will be feeling better soon," Josh said as he cracked a couple of eggs into a frying pan.
"She sleeps a lot," Emma repeated to herself, getting napkins for her and her sister. "She hasn't slept this much in a long, long time. Not since before Natty was born." Furrowing her eyebrows together, as if she were pondering a problem, she looked curiously at her father. "Daddy?"
Before he could reply, a very cheery Jed Bartlet strode into the kitchen. "Ho, ho, ho!" he declared jovially, kissing each child on the cheek. "Merry, merry Christmas to everyone!"
"Merry Christmas Grampa Jed!"
"Merry Crispmas!"
He turned to Josh. "Merry Christmas, my Jewish friend," he said, going to start the coffee.
"Merry Christmas, sir," Josh replied. "Can I interest you in some eggs and bacon?"
Jed looked at him strangely. "Since when are you capable of cooking anything?"
"Since little people started barging into my room at five in the morning demanding to be fed," he answered, smiling at the girls.
"You feed them in the mornings?" Jed glanced over the girls and shrugged. "Well, they're still up and running so I guess I'll take you up on that offer." He went to pour coffee for both himself and Josh. "Say, where's Donna? I figured she'd be up and around by now."
"Uh, she's not feeling a hundred percent right now, sir, but she's just going to sleep it off. We'll open presents and stuff later, if that's all right with you sir," Josh said cautiously, stealing a quick glance at the girls. Natalie seemed preoccupied with trying to eat a cloth napkin and Emma was pouring herself a glass of juice near the fridge. "She's had some bad morning sickness lately and her doctor told her to rest as much as possible," he added under his breath so only Jed could hear.
He nodded his understanding. "Of course, of course." Jed clucked his tongue sympathetically. "The things women's bodies can do, Josh. I mean, imagine putting your body through nine months of pregnancy and then God knows how many hours of delivery to bring a baby into this world. Women have got us beat, hands down." He reached for the cream before continuing, in a louder voice. "So I hear Stadler is gonna make a move to get the Medicare proposal out of committee after the break?"
The two men became so engrossed in their political discussion that they didn't notice how Emma's ears had perked up during a certain word in their whispered conversation or the giant grin that she was currently hiding from them as she went back to the table with her drink. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. "Daddy, can I eat later? I have to do something," she said, getting up from the table.
"But I thought you wanted breakfast now?" Josh asked her retreating form.
"I changed my mind," Emma simply said, heading back upstairs, much to the amusement of her father and surrogate grandfather.
"And just think," Jed commented sadly. "In about eight more years, that same little face is going to be asking you for the car keys on a Saturday night so she can drink and fornicate with acne-ridden boys."
"I'm building a dungeon," Josh immediately replied, sounding completely serious to Jed's ears.
"That's the spirit," Jed grinned, slapping his back.
Later that afternoon, after breakfast had lured everyone else out of bed and after Josh finally released Donna from bed, everyone gathered in the main parlor to open presents. It was quite a crowd:
Ellie was there with Shawn alone, T.J. being bogged down on assignment in the Brazilian rainforest. He'd been down there since the first of the month, chronicling a species of rare frogs for National Geographic, and after a sizeable earthquake the week before he'd tried to fly home but his editor had vetoed it. She claimed that they needed more work from him and even a plea from a former president hadn't changed her mind. Shawn was spending his holiday with only one parent, although that wasn't the first time it had happened in his young life. With two very demanding schedules, T.J. and Ellie hardly ever found time to be a family anymore and were finding it draining. Even though it went unmentioned, if anyone looked hard enough at Ellie, they could clearly see the disappointment and sadness etching her features as she tried to get her son to play with his expensive toys rather than the wrapping paper.
Eldest daughter, Elizabeth, and her family were all in attendance. Her husband Doug, an investment banker, was on his cell phone for a good portion of the day but his family was used to that by now. Eighteen year-old Annie was finishing her senior year of high school and hating every minute of it. She, like all teenagers, was in the middle of that "I Can't Stand to be Around Anyone With Which I have a Biological Connection" phase and causing her parents no small amount of grief. Currently she was behaving, only because she was leafing through the instructions of her new laptop while her brother, Gus, was playing with the handheld video game that seemed to be permanently attached to his hands. Elizabeth had long since stopped making Christmas an extravagant affair for her family, so was she was calmly sipping a glass of eggnog while she watched sympathetically as one sister tried to coral her toddler and the other tried in vain to get comfortable.
Zoey, nearing the homestretch of her first pregnancy, was shifting around on one of the plush couches in an attempt to alleviate pressure off her tender back. During her almost nine months of pregnancy, she'd gained nearly forty-five pounds and her enormous stomach hung out in front of her like a zeppelin. Her discomfort was so great that during her seventh month, she was forced to take a leave of absence from her graduate studies at NYU. Charlie, doing his best to be a supportive husband, had cut back on his hours working as a political liaison for a prominent New York City councilman, and arranged the trip for Manchester for the two of them. Their baby was due in about three weeks and both mother and baby were healthy enough to travel down by train. They had decided not to learn the sex of the baby but had names picked out for a boy or a girl, Kevin Charles and Penelope Abigail.
Looking over as Charlie was massaging Zoey's oversized ankles, Donna couldn't suppress the small groan that escaped her lips. In a few more months, she and Josh would be in that exact same situation and it was making her nervous. Even though she'd done it twice already and would hopefully do it a few more times after this one, something about being pregnant always unnerved her. Of course, it excited and thrilled her even more but still something about the process left her on edge. She guessed that it had to do with the knowledge that for nine months, it was solely her duty to protect the life that was growing inside her, despite Josh's claims that it was his job as well. In reality, their baby's well being depended on Donna while it was growing inside of her, and that task was always daunting to her.
"Hey," a voice brought her back to reality. She turned her head to find Josh crawling to sit behind her. He brushed his lips against her neck as he watched Emma trying to teach her sister the fine art of turning a simple holiday ribbon into a trendy hair accessory. "You all right?" he whispered as he caught her gaze lingering on Charlie and Zoey.
"Yeah," she tried to assure him. "I'm fine, I'm just getting a little nervous about the next few months," she said, motioning with her head towards the young couple.
"You'll be fine," Josh replied confidently, hugging her close. Donna squeezed his arm to show her thanks. "Everyone's going to be fine." He glanced up his daughters, as Emma excused herself for a moment. "Any idea what's up with the oldest child?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's been kind of, I don't know, antsy all day. Really jittery and excitable."
"Well she's a kid and it's Christmas; did you expect her to be huddled in a corner under a blanket?"
"No, what I expected was to have her running up and hugging us after every present, like she's always done. Instead, it's almost been like she wants to avoid us or something." He caught Donna grinning at him like a Cheshire cat. "What's that look for?"
"Nothing," she denied, smiling even more. "It just seems to me like someone is in denial about his precious baby girl growing up a little bit."
"What?!" Josh cried flabbergasted, drawing some attention their way. "What are you talking about?"
"Emma is starting to become more independent and you can't stand it."
"That is not true! She isn't becoming more independent; she's only eight years old."
"But that's when it all starts," Jed interjected as he helped Natalie get tape out of her hair. "First, she's going to want you to park down the street when you drop her off at school, then she'll want to start taking the bus to school where she'll meet lots of new friends whom she wants to spend time with, then come all of the dance lessons and riding classes and sleepovers and before you know it, the only time you see her is when she's grabbing a slice of toast from the breakfast table on the way out to her boyfriend's BMW."
Josh gulped nervously with a pained expression on his face. "Please tell me you're kidding," he begged his former boss.
Jed smiled knowingly. "Doug?" he addressed his son-in-law.
Doug smiled sympathetically, patting his daughter's shoulder. She promptly shrugged it off as if it had never been there, completely engrossed in her computer. "This is Emma in about ten more years," Doug predicted.
"Oh man," Josh moaned, leaning his head back against the wall while the rest of the adults in the room shared a good laugh at his expense, until Ellie started stage coughing and gesturing towards the door where they could see the subject of their conversation enter the room.
"Mommy, I almost forgot something," Emma said as she walked up to her parents, holding something behind her back.
"Oh yeah? What is it?" Donna asked, taking note of the way Emma was fighting very hard to suppress a smile and how she was bouncing on the balls of her feet.
"I forgot to give you this present," she replied, thrusting a poorly wrapped square package into Donna's face.
"Thank you, baby," Donna said, tearing up a little but hormones had nothing to do with it this time. It was a well-known fact that Donna was always a complete softie whenever it came to her girls. She took the present and elbowed Josh slightly. "See? She can even get Christmas presents all by herself now, without anyone's help," she teased her husband, egging on his paternal pain.
"Do not encourage her," Josh ordered her, only half kidding. He smiled brightly at his daughter's expectant face. "What did you get for Mommy?"
"Well actually," Emma corrected her father, "it's not really for Mommy but I thought I could give it to her now and she could hold onto it until then."
"Who's it for then?"
She finally let the grin she'd been holding back spring forth. "It's for the baby," she gushed excitedly.
Josh and Donna looked at each other, more than a little confused. "You mean for Charlie and Zoey's baby?" Donna questioned. "Because I'm sure they can give it to their baby when it's born…"
The child sighed overdramatically, rolling her eyes in exaggerated manner of annoyance. "Not their baby, silly, your baby!" she declared loudly, just so the whole room could hear.
Donna stared at her daughter mutely, her eyes wide with shock. She looked over shoulder at Josh and saw he shared her expression. Both were oblivious to the stares they were receiving from the other guests, they were just stunned at this latest surprise. "Why did you tell her?" Donna whispered to him sharply. "We said we'd wait until after the holidays."
"Me?! I didn't say a word to her!" Josh defended himself. "Why do I automatically get blamed?"
"Because out of the five people in the world who know about this, you are the only one who would be stupid enough to mention it to a little girl!"
"Hey, I'm not a little girl anymore!" Emma interrupted her parents. "And Daddy didn't tell me anything and neither did Mommy or anyone else."
"I don't understand. How did you find out about this?" Josh questioned her.
"You and Grampa Jed were talking about how Mommy was sick this morning and Grampa Jed said how it was so amazing that women can give birth to babies, and I remembered before Mommy had Natty that she was in bed sick a lot like she was this morning and I figured it out all by myself," Emma finally proclaimed, quite smugly.
Josh couldn't help himself; he broke out into a huge grin and reached out for his daughter. He squeezed her onto his lap with Donna and hugged her tightly. "You," he kissed Emma's forehead, "are absolutely incredible."
The little girl rested her head on her father's chest and sighed happily. "I know," she agreed.
He stroked her hair and smirked. "And not at all egotistical, of course."
"You're a bastion of humility, my dear," Donna chimed in.
"Mommy!" Natalie cried out, toddling over and trying to climb on Donna's lap, hungry for her fair share of her parents' attention.
"Come here, sweetie," Donna said as she hoisted the child onto her lap. She hugged Natalie's back against her chest. Resting her chin on top of her daughter's brown curls, she closed her eyes and smiled contentedly. 'Who cares about swollen ankles and backaches when it gives me this?' she thought, listening to her daughter's babblings as she struggled to un-tape her little fingers. Looking down at her side, she saw the present Emma had brought them. "Can I open this now?" she asked her oldest daughter. Emma nodded eagerly and Donna tore into the flimsy paper barrier to reveal the special gift, a lovingly drawn crayon picture held in a simple wooden frame.
Donna couldn't stop the small tear that trickled down her cheek as she realized what she was looking at. Four people, most likely she, Josh, and the girls, were all together in one room. A small, yellow-haired person, [Emma], was holding up a sign that read, "Welcome Home" as all four of them stood next to a crib.
"See, it's all of us," Emma explained, pointing things out in the drawing. "There's you and Daddy right there, holding hands with each other, and Natty is playing on the ground in front of you and I'm standing right there and we're all saying hello to the new baby." She looked back and forth between her parents. "Do you like it?"
Donna smiled gently at her and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "This is without a doubt the most beautiful picture I have ever seen in my life," Donna whispered honestly.
"I second that opinion," Josh agreed, hugging Emma tighter to him.
"You think the baby will like it?"
"Absolutely," Donna assured her.
"Baby!" Natalie squawked, throwing her arms up, almost breaking her mother's nose in the process.
"Yep," Josh replied, lowering his youngest child's arms. He looked up at the rest of the room. They had all been silent, letting the Lyman family have their moment together; some of them were trying not to cry while others were smiling widely. Looking over at Donna, he waited until she nodded her head before he addressed the rest of the room. "We're having a baby," he announced sincerely as the room erupted in cheers of congratulations.
