"You look tired, Harry Potter," his friends all said,
"And your neck shows an obvious bite.
You never returned to your Gryffindor bed--
"What have you been doing all night?"
"Shagging Snape!" Harry Potter replied with a grin.
"Adorable, greasy old git!
He wanted to lick every inch of my skin;
I was only too glad to submit."
"You look tired," said his friends, "so completely worn out!
And you say you've been banging the Bat.
Forgive us for showing some reasonable doubt--
Is he really as good as all that?"
"Shagging Snape," said the youth with a satisfied smile,
"Is better than catching the Snitch!
What he does with his mouth is so very worthwhile--
I scream and I beg and I twitch."
"You look tired," said his friends, "yet it can't be denied
You're doing much better at Potions.
So tell us: does Snape, the sarcastic and snide,
Show any more tender emotions?"
"Shagging Snape," came the answer, "is not for the weak,
For even in bed he's a prick.
But I've found a solution: just don't let him speak!
Restraints and a gag do the trick."
"You look tired," said his friends, "but we're curious now!
What else can you do with Snape's crotch?
Does he moan? Does he hiss? Would he ever allow
A group of us in there to watch?"
"Can't blame you for asking -- but look at the time!"
Came the answer. "Must run -- got a date.
And it's my turn on top, which is truly sublime,
But he'll take off ten points if I'm late!"
Disclaimer: This is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Neither do I intend any disrespect to Lewis Carroll, Alice, the Caterpillar... or even Robert Southey, author of the original Father William poem parodied by Lewis Carroll.
