A/N: Hey, you guys! This is an idea that was sitting in my head for ages, so I decided: Why not? It's basically about a girl in the 21st century, fan of DPS, who enters the DPS universe trying to save Neil. Things get complex and...who knows what might happen?
The idea to name my fanfic "How to Save a Life" came from a video I watched on YouTube (do not own!) by HaveMercy18. If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's so awesome and sad. It focuses on Neil and Todd's relationship.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own DPS. "How to Save a Life," which I also do not own, is a song by The Fray.
Jasmine sat in silence as she watched the end credits run through the screen paying attention neither to them nor to the sad music that filled the air. Tears were streaming down her face. Her mind raced back to the previous two hours when the only thing that had existed on her mind had been Neil, Todd, Charlie and carpe diem. She just sat there motionless, overwhelmed with anger and sadness. Why, why did Neil have to kill himself? Couldn't he just wait a couple more years until he finished school? He could do whatever he wanted then! He could run away and become an actor like he wanted! Couldn't he live for Todd? Why didn't Todd save him? Her heart ached. If only she was there! She would do anything possible to save Neil!
Her thoughts were interrupted from her mother who was staring at her with pity.
"Oh, honey," her mother said. "You have been watching Dead Poets Society again, haven't you?"
Jasmine wiped her eyes ashamedly. She didn't like it when her mother saw her in that condition.
It was her mother who had introduced her to that movie when she was seven, but she didn't love it the way Jasmine did. Jasmine had idolized Mr. Keating, adored Todd, was charmed by Charlie, entertained herself with Knox, Pitts, and Meeks, hated Cameron with a passion, and completely worshipped Neil, even before she was allowed to see the ending of the movie. Her mother always stopped it when Neil's play came to an end and told Jasmine that this was the end of the movie, and they all lived happily ever after. For some years the girl felt content with that, yet, when she started middle school, she realized that the movie couldn't end this way. So, she sneaked out one night and had watched the whole movie. The next day, her mother noticed Jasmine's pale face and red eyes and hugged her tightly. "Oh, poor baby," she whispered. "What's wrong?" Little Jasmine burst into tears and flung herself out of her mother's arms. "Neil died, mom! He died at the end of the movie! Why didn't you tell me?" Her mother's eyes went wide open. "Is that all?" she asked. "Is that all? My favorite character died, mom, and you hid it from me! And all you have to say is 'Is that all?'" Her mother looked down. "You were so young, baby. Suicide is not an appropriate theme for a seven-year-old. Especially since it was Neil committing it."
Suicide. What an awful word! What an awful action! So unlike her dear Neil… Yes, Jasmine loved Neil. She knew, of course, that he was just a fictional character but all girls had a fictional character they drool over, and Jasmine's specific character was Neil! She wasn't obsessed like her mother said all the time. She just liked him within logical limits. Obsession was a strong word.
"Honey, you shouldn't watch that movie so often. It makes you so sad." She heard now her mother.
"It was your fault, mom. You shouldn't have shown it to me in the first place," Jasmine said, pulling the DVD out of its socket.
"It's not normal, baby. I mean, I like this movie, too, but I'm not obsessed."
Here it was again. That word. Her mother was now trying to comb Jasmine's curly brown hair with her fingers.
"I'm not obsessed!" shouted Jasmine slapping her mother's hand away. "It's just my favorite movie, is that so bad?"
"It wouldn't be so bad if you weren't drooling all day over that guy who killed himself!"
Her mother had now lost her temper, too.
"It's Neil, mom! Neil! Okay? You used to know his name, remember?"
"It's just not good for yourself, honey, don't you see?" Her voice was now gentler, but Jasmine was already angry enough.
"Would you rather prefer my "obsession" over Justin Bieber, mom?"
"At least he's a real person, hon."
Jasmine growled instead of answering. She always cherished the sweet melancholy the movie brought to her in the end, and now her mother had destroyed it. Again. She headed to her room.
"Dinner will be served in a minute, honey."
"I'm not hungry. You can eat with just Dad," Jasmine said and kicked her door shut.
She landed on her bed sighing. It wasn't like she was a loner and didn't have any friends! She did have a lot of friends, but in her sixteen years of living she had just accepted the fact that Dead Poets Society and Neil would always hold a special place in her heart. The place of her unfulfilled fangirl love.
Ah, Neil. If she was there, she would have stopped him from pulling that trigger. She would have done her best, she would have said things, done things that would not let him kill himself. She was certain that if she had a chance she would have saved his life…somehow.
"Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known
How to save a life."
This song always reminded her of Neil and Todd, and the girl couldn't help but sing it every time after watching the movie. She lay on the bed and murmured the rest of the lyrics to herself.
Morpheus took her in his arms as she was singing "How to Save a Life" for the third time. It wasn't long after her first dream started. She walked, barefoot, in a meadow with grass so green and sky so blue unlike one she had never seen before. This beautiful landscape caused to feel so ordinary. The grass, as it caressed her feet, felt almost alive under her feet under her toes. She usually thought her eyes were sky-blue, but this blue was so vibrant it made her eyes look a dull grey. Jasmine took a deep breath. Lavender, melted chocolate, and the smell of paper floated into her nostrils, dazzling her brain with this mix of her favorite scents. She couldn't even conceive how her subconscious was capable of such beautiful masterwork.
"Cool colors, huh?" she heard a voice and turn to see its possessor. "So blue and green are your favorite? Kind of cliché, but I wouldn't like, see, a brown sky."
Jasmine gasped. In front of her was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. Raven black hair and charcoal eyes did he have, a body that resembled a Greek god's was visible under his white clothes, and golden skin. The girl thought he actually glowed. His age couldn't be specified; he looked young but wise, like he carried the knowledge of centuries.
Am I dead? she wondered when her mind recovered from its black-out. Is this Heaven?
"Are you an angel?" she asked the man, because this was what he looked like.
He laughed. He had a crystal clear laugh that made her head turn.
"An angel? Oh, no, but I wouldn't mind being one," he said.
"Who are you, then?" Jasmine was proud of herself that she could still speak nonchalantly despite the bubbles that were swirling in her brain.
"I am the Muse."
"The Muse?"
"Yes, my dear, the Muse."
Jasmine's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Weren't the muses women? And nine? You're a guy...and just one."
The man smiled.
"You know, they say patience is a virtue my dear…"
"Jasmine. You were saying?"
"Jasmine. What a charming name. You can call me Muse." Muse enjoyed Jasmine's bewildered expression for a few seconds before continuing. "As I was saying, I am the Muse. The nine girls do exist, and they are also called muses. You see, I kinda stole their name. After-Muse is not such a pretty name. It sounds intimidating. Anyway, the girls are for inspiration. They create the sparkle into the creator's mind and help him through his journey. And when this specific journey is done, the creation is my responsibility."
Muse paused in order to create a moment of tension. Jasmine raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
"So you claim to be in charge for every finished creation out here?"
The man thought for a second.
"Pretty much."
"Isn't that an awful quantity of creations to handle?"
"The unfinished creations, my dear, are way more than the finished ones."
Jasmine had an unexplainable urge to laugh. What the hell? Who was this guy?
"Okay…, and what exactly is your job? If something is finished, it's finished, right?"
"Ha! Wrong!" shouted Muse and clapped his hands. "My job, my dear Jasmine," he said her name slowly as if to devour the sound of it "is to satisfy poor souls like you. You see, my dear, after five years" he focused on these words "of constant whining, I had to do something to stop your bickering."
The girl's jaw fell wide open.
"Whining? Bickering? What do you mean?"
Muse smiled mischievously.
"Oh, Neil! Oh, how much I love him! Oh, how I wish I could save him! Oh, if only I had been there!" he mocked her. "My dear, these thoughts are fine for a while, but after five whole years it is kind of annoying."
"Your point being…?" Jasmine asked, a little mad. Was this guy serious? Where was he taking this? Was this real, or just a way for her subconscious to tell her to stop obsessing over Neil? There. Now she was using the word "obsessed", too.
"My point being, dear, that I've finally decided to grant your wish."
Jasmine burst out laughing. The idea was so ridiculous! Grant her wish? In what way? Put her into the story? Or let her write a different ending to the script? That'd be cool, she thought.
She expected Muse to laugh, too, but his face was completely serious.
"You are allowed from me," he said, "to enter the Dead Poets Society universe and try to save Neil, as you have been wishing."
Jasmine's laugh disappeared.
"Wait. You're serious?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
"You're not real, dude. You're in my subconscious."
Muse seemed offended.
"Of course I'm real. Just like my offer. Do you want me to take it back?"
Jasmine thought for a second. Even if this was not real and just her imagination, she would give anything to meet the Dead Poets. Talk with Todd, laugh with Charlie's pranks, tease Knox, be with Neil. It was what she wished for, true. So what kept her?
"Go on," she said.
"So, hear the rules, dear. You can enter the story in any time you want, whether that's the beginning or a few moments before Neil pulls the trigger. You can also leave the story whenever you want. If you fail, though, when you disappear, everything will go back to its place, no one, I repeat, no one will remember you. The story will remain intact. The only thing you will have is bad memories." Muse's voice was now low and mysterious which made the girl even more intrigued.
"And if I succeed?' asked Jasmine, her eyes wide with anticipation.
"Honestly?" his voice was back to normal, excited and nonchalant. "Nothing will change in the movie. But when you disappear, because you will eventually leave the story, dear, everyone will remember you. And you will have a clear conscience, I guess."
"And won't my parents miss me?"
"Have you forgotten where we are, dear Jasmine? We're in a dream. You'll wake up in the morning, in your bed after you have saved Neil or failed miserably to do so."
Jasmine was still confused.
"So all this is a dream? It's not real-real?"
Muse grabbed her shoulders, and a violent wave of air hit her, causing her unruly curls to fly all around her face.
"Of course it's real-real, dear. See for yourself," he said and pinched her on both of her arms.
"Ouch!"
"So? Are you in or what?" Muse asked her eagerly.
Jasmine studied him. This surely felt real, but was it? Or was it just a dream? Anything could happen in a dream. One time she had fed giraffe babies in a dream. The giraffe babies felt real, too, but they weren't. So how could she be sure that this was indeed real?
Then it hit her. Who cared? She was given a chance to save Neil, even in her subconcious, and was seriously contemplating rejecting it? No way!
"I'm in." she resoluted, sticking her hand out for him to shake.
"Are you sure?" he questioned her in a serious voice. "Because it might look like a game now, dear Jasmine, but once you're in there all the boys, the cave, the club, everything will be real. You must be absolutely certain that you have a chance to save Neil."
"I am," answered the girl, not breaking away from his glance. Her voice was steady.
"Good then," he said, taking her hand into his own. "Close your eyes now, dear. Think about the place and the time you want to be when you open your eyes."
Jasmine did as she was told.
"And remember," he felt him whisper to her ear. "I'll only be a breath away."
She nodded.
They shook hands, and the world faded into black.
A/N: So, let me tell you a little secret. I love reviews and constructive criticism! So leave a review on your way out, PLEASE?
I recently watched Blue Jasmine (do not own!) by Woody Allen. I didn't like the movie so much, but I fell in love with the name Jasmine. So that's how I came up with the name Jasmine.
Review?
