Alec was tossing and turning in his sleep, his pale face slick with sweat, his eyes twitching, and from time to time he uttered a low moan. Magnus kept his pained gaze fixed upon his lover's face and wrapped his strong arms around Alec's torso to keep him still. Oh, how it hurt to see his boyfriend like this. He had tried to wake him, but Alec wouldn't wake up. He had tried to soothe him with soft words and caresses, but it was no good. Magnus didn't know what Alec was dreaming about, but he knew that this wasn't his first night like this, although it was the first one with Magnus present.
And the warlock resolved, then and there, that he would never leave Alec again.
As he lay there in the dark, watching the shadows dance on his Shadowhunter's face and distort the boy's anguished expression into a horrible grimace, Magnus wondered how often Alec had had these dreams already. Had Jace comforted him? Magnus felt a jab of jealousy at the thought. Or had Alec suffered on his own, afraid of telling anyone what pained him, afraid of burdening his loved ones as he always was?
Poor Alec. Poor, stupid, self-sacrificing Alec. Magnus pulled the boy even closer to him and buried his face in the jet-black hair. If he had known at that party what this young man would mean to him one day, Magnus was sure he would have laughed at himself. Yet here he was, on the verge of tears because a half-grown Nephilim was having bad dreams and he could do nothing to take the pain from him.
Alec moaned, and his body jerked. Magnus looked up to see that Alec's steel blue eyes were open, staring wildly into nothingness.
"Alec," he said pleadingly. "Alec!" With one hand he held the Shadowhunter's rune-covered torso down on the mattress while stroking his cheek with the other. And finally, finally, Alec's eyes cleared and he gazed confusedly around the room. "Alec," Magnus said, his voice nearly breaking with relief. "Are you alright?"
Alec looked at Magnus for a moment, then curled up silently against him, resting his head on the warlock's chest and hugging him tightly.
They stayed like this for a while, neither of them speaking. Magnus longed to ask Alec what he had been dreaming, and why, and if there was anything he, Magnus, could do to make those dreams go away, but he was afraid of saying something wrong. Instead, he restricted himself to running his hand gently over his boyfriend's back in what he hoped was a soothing fashion.
After ten minutes or so, Alec spoke. "Why do you love me?" he asked, not looking into Magnus's eyes and instead keeping his face buried in the warlock's shirt.
Magnus looked down at his boyfriend who was huddling against him like an abandoned kitten. He was very good at reading people, but he didn't know where this was going.
"Because you surprise me," he said, continuing his train of thought. "After nearly seven hundred years, there isn't much I haven't seen before. People get boring. But you, Alexander Lightwood, never bore me for a second."
Alec lifted his head as if he was about to speak, but Magnus forestalled him. "Also because you- are-" he placed a hand on his lover's cheek and ran his thumb gingerly over his smooth skin, "incredibly beautiful. And shy. And fierce. And strong, and vulnerable, and loyal, and true, and innocent, and awkward, and loving, and selfless, and – adorably possessive," he added, his lips twitching.
Alec looked up at him with his large sapphire eyes. "But-"
"No but," Magnus said, interrupting him. "I don't even know how to tell you anymore." He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend ever so gently on the mouth. "You are my perfect Shadowhunter," he whispered earnestly. "One look from you sends a shiver down my spine. One touch and my heart stumbles in my chest. I don't know why. But what I do know is this: I love you, Alexander, and I'm not going to stop loving you. Ever."
"Forever is a long time," Alec said quietly.
"Exactly," Magnus said, his green tiger eyes suddenly flashing. He rolled onto his side and pushed himself towards the foot end of the bed until he lay face to face with Alec. "I am no twelve-year-old declaring everlasting love for his first girlfriend!" he exclaimed fiercely. "I am seven hundred years old and I know what eternity is. I say I will love you forever and I mean it."
Alec stared at him speechlessly for a moment, his mouth slightly open. Then the young Shadowhunter took Magnus's head in his hands and kissed him like they had never kissed before.
It wasn't a hot kiss, the sort of breathless demand that usually leads to something much more physical than kissing.
It wasn't a fleeting kiss either, like the short pecks given for teasing and greeting.
This was a true kiss. And in it, Magnus could feel all the love Alexander had for him, and it was so much Magnus wondered how all of it could fit inside one half-grown boy. And he could feel the pain this love had caused the boy, and it was so much Magnus wondered how those narrow shoulders could carry it all. And he could feel the longing, Alec's one desperate desire to spend the rest of eternity with the man he loved so much.
Magnus's ferocity faltered under the weight of the emotions that overwhelmed him, and he grabbed Alec's elbows and clung to him for dear life. For the first time he understood that maybe Alec was not the only vulnerable person in their love, that Magnus needed the boy perhaps even more than Alec needed him. This recognition he put into his own movements as he kissed the boy back, striving to make him understand.
And Alec understood.
And when they had shared their emotions and their kiss subsided, both of them wrapped their arms around the other simultaneously, and hugged each other so tightly it seemed they would never be able to let go. And Magnus lay there, in his lover's arms, and wished the morning would never come and destroy their own perfect universe.
