If You're Happy
(Then I'm Fine with It)

Summary :
I know, I could only see you from the distance. But it's okay, as long as you're happy, I'd do anything. Even if I had to let you go for her./Petra's Point of View/Slight LeviHan- Rivetra/Not really angst/Translate For Your Happiness/Oneshot! DLDR

Disclaimer :
Shingeki no Kyojin © Isayama Hajime
For Your Happiness © Aori Rihito

Genre, Rate, Character(s) :
Drama & Angst, Teen Fic, Petra R. & [Levi, Hanji Z.]

A/N :
I got this idea while I was in toilet (again). I always wanted to make an angst/drama fiction. At first, I planned to make this from Hanji's PoV, so the main pair won't be LeviHan but Rivetra instead. But after I think a lot.. I'll be the one crying if I make it.. But no worries, Rivetra Fans! I'll make the Rivetra Version, since my Indonesian fellow wanted it. If any of you wants me to translate it after I published it, just tell me so.

I dedicated this fic to my friend in school and internet, BakAce-chan no Ohime-sama! SHE loves Rivetra so much I decided to make this. But as I already told you, Princess, this won't be too angst-y so you'll cry.

Anyways! Hajimeru yo!

Hajime

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"If I can't have your love, I beg your hate."

"Even though I said that, I really can't bear your hate after all."

"So please, just forget me and be happy with her."

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I slowly walked towards our training field from our HQ's door. I only wore our military uniform, with the wings of freedom printed proudly on my breast pocket. This thin clothing certainly couldn't keep the cold breeze from impaling my bones.

My arms held my own body, trying to keep the cold from reaching me. I looked up to the sky, and then I sighed. Moon in the sky. Stars surrounded it. There was nothing different than any other nights. But it feels like.. This night was colder and darker than before.

Eventually, I whispered the name of a man I couldn't stop thinking of. A man so handsome who was the strongest person in all humanity. A man who had succeed in killing hundreds, even thousands man-eating giants or titans. A man who was cold, as cold as this night. A man ranked Corporal who had an amazing skill. A man with height no more than 1,6 meter, but he was once a high-ranked underground criminal in Wall Sina territory. A man..

Who stole away my heart.

"Corporal Levi.." Once again I whispered his name slowly. I sighed heavily. How long had I keep this feeling? Who knows.. Even I didn't know anymore. I already developed this feeling even before I joined the special team he made with three other guys.

Maybe it would be much easier if I just confess this annoying feeling to that Corporal. I had planned many plans, many words, and many expressions to confess to him. But no, I couldn't. Even when I had tried my best to be closer to him, only to tell him how much I admired him, I couldn't.

Because he, Corporal Levi, Leader of Special Operation Squad, The Strongest Humanity in Survey Corps, already had someone he loved.

And that person wasn't me.

Sometimes I like to think, why someone like Corporal got engaged with someone that was like his opposite? Yeah, Corporal already had a fiancé, once of my seniors in this Survey Corps. Our genius scientist, who was a bit weird because she loved titans. Hanji Zoë.

I mean, come on, Corporal was someone who was cold, strict, and really loved cleanliness. Meanwhile Hanji-san was a scientist who (sorry before) often forgotten to clean herself beneath the shower and very, very, bright. How come they became one?

I thought it's a bit unfair. Hanji-san always got many attentions from people inside Survey Corps. Including our Commander and my juniors. On the other side, I, who was a part of the Special Operation Squad, barely received some attentions from Corporal as a girl. He only looked at me as a merely subordinate.

I often thought, if I couldn't have his love, than I'd be gladly to receive his hate. But now that I really thought about that.. Could I stand Corporal's hate?

Tomorrow, we'd go in an expedition outside the wall to reclaim district Shiganshina. As one of the members of the SOS, I had a task to protect one of our juniors who had the wonderful ability to turn into a titan. Eren Jäeger, his name. He was a special boy. Many people claimed him to be the key for humanity's safety, but some people also said that he was a monster who had no rights to be alive. I used to be scared of him, and I was very cautious around him. But now, that fear had already turned into the feeling of want to protect him. Corporal also taught us not to be afraid of him. Speaking about Corporal..

If.. If I couldn't survive the expedition tomorrow..

I wonder if Corporal would feel bad about losing us..

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I was scared.

No one could explain what was happening here. There were a lot of titans outside the forest. An aberrant titan with a woman-like-physique kept chasing us. Many lives had gone in the titan's hand. Eren almost changed into a titan to fight it off, but he didn't. Corporal was very calm, but he didn't explain anything to us. Erd-san, Günther-san, and Auruo were just like me.

We were scared. Scared of death. Scared of the titan. Scared, that maybe we wouldn't be able to meet our beloved ones anymore.

Until that titan stopped. It was caught by a trap that was made by Commander Erwin Smith. All of my fear was gone instantly, and a little smile appeared on my face. Corporal didn't tell us no purpose so we wouldn't be panic and failed the plan. I just know about it. Corporal.. He thought a lot about us!

"Erd, I leave you in charge."

"Yes, sir!"

Corporal used his 3D Maneuver Gear to approach Commander Erwin, and we continued our horse-riding.

"Survey Corps people are so awesome!" Eren said, amazed.

"I know! That's why you should believe in us!" Auruo grinned.

For a moment, I looked back, to see Corporal started his interrogations on the Female Titan. But no, it wasn't what I saw. What I saw was..

Corporal smiled.

Yes, smiled.

It is very rare.

I should be happy that I was able to witness his smile live. But I didn't. Because that smile wasn't for me.

It was for Hanji-san.

Corporal Levi smiled towards Hanji-san who was pissed because the Female Titan wouldn't cooperate. He also messed up her hair, still with a smile on his face. Commander Erwin laughed at the two, and Moblit Berner, Hanji-san's assistant, smiled at them.

Hurt. It hurt so much.

I turned my vision again. It was enough. "Petra-san? Are you okay?" Eren asked me.

I forced a smile towards him. "I'm fine. I was just thinking of some unimportant things."

Just then, I decided. I would let Corporal go. He looked so relaxed and happy with Hanji-san. I'd do anything for his happiness. It includes sacrificing my feeling for him. And if Corporal's happy because of that, I'm totally fine with it.

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Everything happened so fast.

That Female Titan succeeded in escaping. It was chasing us, or rather, chasing Eren. Corporal wasn't with us. The four of us confidently trying to stop the titan. Eren trusted us and left. He was our top priority, we wouldn't let him fight and lose. At first, we could stop the titan's movement. But the condition changed quickly, and we fell one after another.

It really hurts. So physique wounds are much worse than heart wound huh, I laughed ironically in my thoughts. I could feel blood stained my face. I was leaning into a tree, ready to leave this world at anytime. I felt my consciousness started fading.

Aah, so was this my end as humanity's soldier in Survey Corps? Died in titan's territory to protect our key to Humanity's Victory?

If yes, then I'd leave this world proudly. I was useful for humanity. Even though I had to leave my family, at least they could be proud of me who had fight for our safety. If there was something that I regretted..

Then it would be the fact that I never confess my feeling towards Corporal.

But it was perfectly fine. Corporal would be happy with Hanji-san. They would get married, had children, and forget me forever. It's the best. Besides, I was no match for Corporal. Hanji-san already contributed many things for Survey Corps and humanity, and she also knew Corporal far longer than I did.

Weights I felt started fading as I smiled. Blackness almost consumes me. And right before I lost my life, I whispered two words I'd kept all this time.

Aishiteru, Heichou.

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The End

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Omake

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"Petra! Erd! Günther!"

"Aaah! Papa is getting closed! Run!"

Levi sighed heavily. His kids were so hyperactive. It was late already, time for them to sleep. But they ran off from their room and started to run around their house.

"Failed at catching Petra and the twins?" Hanji asked as she laughed besides him.

Levi snorted. "Their hyperactive part comes from you, Four-Eyes, I'm sure of it."

"Heh, if you can't handle three kids, what will happen when Auruo born?" Hanji shook her head as she rubbed her swollen belly.

Hanji was pregnant with their fourth son, on her eighth month. Their third son, after their un-identical twins, Erd and Günther, would be named Auruo. Erd and Günther were only 4, meanwhile Petra was 2. As male and good big brother (their father taught them), Erd and Günther always protect Petra. They were a little sister complex, in fact.

"Don't underestimate me. This is an easy problem."

"Right, very easy that Günther succeeded in hiding your cleaning products, Shorty."

"Shut up!"

Hanji laughed again. "They grow up so fast. It won't feels long until they become adults, get married, leaving us, having children on their own.."

"I won't hand Petra to anyone."

"Daughter-Complex Father!"

Without saying anything, Levi ran after their children and caught them. He brought them to their room and forced them to sleep. After he was sure that his kids were asleep, he sat on their mattress and stared at them silently. And then, Hanji came in.

"They're asleep?"

"Aa."

Hanji walked closer and stared at their children too. "..Your idea's great to name them after my SOS." Levi said suddenly.

"You loved them, right? Your SOS members before Eren and his friends? Our children, weirdly, have similar physique as them. When Erd and Günther were born, I realized it immediately and remembered them instantly. It feels nice that you can meet them again, even though it's indirect, right?" Hanji answered as she stroke Erd's dense hair.

"Yeah.. I felt very guilty when I found Petra's diary.."

"That's because you were very insensitive. I think all of Survey Corps members knew about her feelings towards you."

"..." Levi glanced at his daughter and smiled a little. "But Petra is back now. As our little angel. And I really love her, as our only daughter."

Hanji smiled at his words. Levi stood up and lead Hanji towards their bedroom, to end the day with a nice good night sleep.

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End of Omake

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Author Talk!

Goodness, I finally finished this! This is the first time I can make something so drama-like! Though I won't say that this is really angst.. Please give me your review, so I'll know which part needs repairmen :)

Btw, please excuse my grammar fail.. English is not my first language..