The Adventures of Rombo and Zuliet. by Zaxophone
A Trollfic/Comedyfic taking place in Shakespeareaverse (SSPAV). About the lives of Rombo, Zuliet and some other people following the deaths of Romeo, Juliet, Mercutio, Tybalt, Lady Capulet, and Paris (i.e. trying to revive them).
Rated M for graphic languages
=========Chapter 1: Lexor the Replacement============
/at Verona Castle
Lexor ate his giant pencil, he ate it SO EVERY HARD. Escalus rushed into the room to see wat his dimwitted servant waz doing.
"The hell!" Escalus Declared
Lexor gulped his pencil and looked the Prince in shock.
"Uhhhh... Nothing, Yoz Majesty.." - He Quipped
"Have you been Master Bating again! I swear to Godh ev'ry dam day you do it ev'ry dam times of the week!" -Escalus Responded
"Buuu..." Lexor said
"I don't want to hear anymore; start using regular bates like everyone else, now no one can catch up to you in pokeymons. You will now be sentenced to dying a death of being dead."
"Don't we have justices foz this sozt of thing?"
"I'M THE FREAKING PRINCE OF VERONA, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!"
"Erfinkel, get in here!"
"Why? I am only a private, I cannot handle such magnificous task."
"Quit confusing the reader, Lexor. You are Mercutio's replacement, make some puns or something. You have NO military rank."
"You called?"
"I did." Escalus shoots Erfinkel's head. Like three times. With bullets. Thrice.
As Erfinkel lay dead on the floor, his blood oozed slowly, etching thru each trimester of his pregnancy, to spell the worst message in all of history: "Level-Up re-newed for a third season..."
Stibruno Stigmatosis came in all thinking he was an important character and shit. Then Escalus shot him, with his MIND.
It killed him so he ended up ded.
Escalus quipped: "Okay, now we have angry prominent townsfoke demanding Romeo and Juliet be alive again."
Lexor responded "Why?"
Escalus said "They are getting militant, and will almost certainly launch a full scale replica of an attack on me"
"But I hate you"
"Does it really matter in a time like this"
*noise from the outside*
"We KNOW you have her"
"Giv us the girl."
"Tune in on 8/7central to watch all new episodes of ZTV's Gofu Kyorself, and some protest like remark".
"See the mob, now sneek back to check on the necromancer and see if he can revive anyone."
-Escalus said
"Lexor responded" Why?
"There's 500 milli-" "WILL DO!"
/at the graveyard
Lexor left in search of Noll Kanaz, the legend necromancer who had richiz, powerz, and a fuckin' sweet window shelf with three gages, a calculator, thirteen nooses, and mcrib generator I MEAN LOOK AT THE THING ISN'T HIS WINDOWSHELF AWESOME?
Lexor's first stop was St. Reuel's Graveyard wer necromancers have diskos where he spotted Benvolio grabbing Juliet and Romeo's corpse from the ground.
"Oh, you're Escalus's new page; nice too meet you. I have these for my necrofili-"
"OMG YOZ A NECZOMANCEZ"
"Sure I am..." Benvolio replied sardonically
"Is that Zomeo and Juliet's cozpsez;" Yes
Suddenly the author ran out of ideas for Act 1: Part 1 and ended chapter 1.
End of Chapter 1. Stay tuned for longer chapters and a plot unfolding!
"You can't do that on " Lexor said to the narrator
"I can if it's party of the story" The Badass and GOOD-LOOKING narrator said to Lexor.
