(This fic was inspired by a conversation I was having over the phone with one of my friends while reading 'Hostilis Fetal Gravida' by FOXANBU. I love that story, and you should direct yourself into its direction once reading this. Although, in order to understand this better, you may have to read the first chapter of HFG... Deci)
Deci—Noooo, they can't take his eyes!
Larz—Well, maybe the Snape's have recessive green eyes!
Deci—Yeah, and Malfoy bleaches his hair
(Suddenly Lucius and Draco appear out of no where)
Lucius—Take that back!
Deci—What the-
Draco—Stupid muggle! I would never dye my hair!
Deci—Sure hun, and you're not gay
Draco—What-But-HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
Lucius—HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST MY SON IS A POOF! CRUCIO!!
Deci—Aw crap. (drops phone)
Larz—Wait, Deci? DECI! What's going on??
Draco—(picks up phone) Deci can't come to the phone right now, she's currently preoccupied. (Lucius cackles in background while Deci screams)
Larz—What?! What are you- Wait, how do you know what a phone is??
Draco—Silence muggle! I don't know what you're talking about!
Larz—You just said Deci couldn't come to the phone. You even pronounced it correctly.
Lucius—(pausing from torturing Deci) Hey, she's right. How do you know what the names of muggle things are Draco?
Draco—Ummmm
Larz—AND THE SECRET COMES OUT!!
Deci—Cool, that means all he has to do now is come out about his undying love for Harry, and all will be good in the land.
Lucius—WHAT?! DRACO!!
Draco—Damn you! He wasn't supposed to find out until he was dead! Uh, wait, I mean-
Larz & Deci—YES!! He admitted it!!
Lucius—Draco, how could you! Turning on your Lord and family like this!
Deci—Oh. Please Luci. It's not like you haven't been sneaking around with a werewolf lately.
Lucius—What-How-Who—HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS!!
Larz & Deci—Because we're maaagiiicaaaaal.
Draco—(Off in corner with Harry Potter that appeared out of nowhere snogging, pulling away for a moment) That was really creepy how you both said it at the same time.
Larz & Deci—We know.
Lucius—MY EYES!!
Deci—Draco honey, could you and Harry go off somewhere else to do that. My parents could walk in at any moment.
Larz—OOH! OOH! SEND THEM OVER HERE!
Deci—That's an idea. Okay, go over there.
Draco—(shrugs) Okay. (grabs Harry and apparates to Larz's house)
Larz—YAY!!
Deci—Call everyone up Larz, we can make a lot of money off this.
Lucius—(gapes) You're going to use my son as a way to make money??
Deci—What? Have to pay for Summer School somehow.
Lucius—But that's just so-so…
Larz & Deci—Evil?
Lucius—Slytherin. I completely approve.
Deci—Awww, thanks Luci.
Larz—Yeah, I think that's the nicest thing you could say to us. You know, us being muggles and all.
Lucius—(whining) Does it have to be with Potter though??
Larz, Deci, Draco &Harry—YES!
Larz—Wait, how did you two find a phone??
Harry—It was just sitting here, beneath a book.
Larz—Oh. Okay.
Lucius—(sighs)
Deci—Aaaw, what's wrong Luci?
Lucius—Bored.
Larz—Maybe we can help.
Deci—Hmmm. Indeed. (starts chanting under breath)
Lucius—What are you doing??
(Remus randomly pops out of nowhere)
Remus— …Huh?
Larz, Deci & Harry—Hi Remy!
Remus—Ummm, Hi? Lucius? What's going on?
Lucius—Don't ask.
Draco—Well, now that father has stopped whining (Lucius starts saying something about 'Malfoys never whine') I'm going back to what I was doing.
Harry—Dray, what are you…Oh.
Larz—SWEET! Where's my camera??
(Lucius sneak out back door, dragging a still very confused Remus)
Deci--…Well…Back to the story! (starts reading HFG)
(Meanwhile, back at Larz's place)
Larz—(has video camera) Oh…My…God…(starts drooling)
