AN: Sigh. Well, this fic came out of two things: a fight I recently had with my best friend, and the song Everything Changes by Staind. Basically, this fic is how I wish things would have ended with my friend, instead of the "screw you" I got stuck with. Only, without the kissing. So, it's kind of dark and a little bit angsty, and not my norm at all. But, right now I am not normal, so. Yeah, just review.
The Mess You Chose
Hunter was an absolute mess.
Cam watched him run lap after lap on the track, trying to forget about things and probably only thinking about them harder. Hunter had to know he was there. He'd been sitting there for an hour. He tempted to try and flag the upset ninja down, but he didn't think Hunter would pay any attention to that.
So he waited. He waited for Hunter to calm down and get out of his mood and come see him.
It was a rainy day, and the track was all but deserted. Hunter liked it that way; lots of mud and no one to see him fall.
Damn, did that boy have abandonment issues. When he thought about it, he supposed he had just as many as Hunter did, but he handled them a bit better. Hell, at least he handled them at all.
Hunter preferred to push everything to the back of his mind, like it hadn't happened. Then later he acted surprised when it blew up in his face. Sometimes it amazed Cam. Others it was just annoying.
And maybe Cam had overreacted that morning when Hunter had fumed about Blake for a reason he didn't remember. Cam was willing to admit that, but he wasn't sorry for what he had said. Hunter had needed to hear it. Even if he didn't want to.
"It's like he doesn't give a damn about his family anymore!" Hunter had been telling him.
"Maybe he's just excited?" Cam tried to reason, but Hunter had sputtered indignantly.
"Stop trying to take his side for 10 seconds and listen to me, okay?" Hunter had shouted.
"I always listen to you!" Cam stood and pushed his chair back. "It would be nice to get a little bit of that in return every once in a while! Ever think maybe I don't care about Blake? But I listen to the same story a hundred times because you can't figure it out on your own. Let Blake live his life and you live yours. You're his brother, not his father! Stop getting so angry about things you can't change!"
"Oh, this is rich, coming from the guy who walks around with steel walls up because he's afraid he might actually feel something!" Hunter had fired back immediately. He was on the lookout for a fight, and Cam had just become his target.
"At least I know how to deal with my problems on my own!" Cam fumed. "Hell, at least I deal with them instead of talking about them and doing nothing!"
"Not everyone handles shit like you do Cam." Hunter said quietly. "Your not as perfect as you think are."
And Hunter had left in a huff, and Cam had screamed and kicked the wall. Hunter was infuriating, and they were so freaking different that Cam didn't understand how they put up with each other.
That was always the first thing anyone noticed about them. Hunter was the socialite; the friendly, outgoing, party-goer. Where Cam was the recluse; the sarcastic, unaffectionate, night owl. How they had lived together for as long as they had was still a mystery.
Cam wondered sometimes how long they could keep on going like this. It was the same routine, all the time. He couldn't help the way he was, and neither could Hunter. But they put up with each other, and loved each other despite everything going against them.
Cam didn't want to lose Hunter. He knew that. Hunter was the best thing about his life, hands down. Sure, his life might be easier without the blonde biker, but it would definitely be less interesting.
If he just walked away right there, and didn't say anything, what would Hunter do about it? Would it always be Cam going after Hunter? Would Hunter ever come after him if he decided he wanted to leave? He had his doubts. Hunter was almost as stubborn as he was, and that's what made their fights so deadly.
Cam knew he couldn't change the way Hunter felt about anything. He knew they wouldn't always agree, and there were some wounds that would never heal no matter how hard they tried. They could try to fix each other for the rest of their lives, and it wouldn't matter.
What Cam knew for certain is that everything about his life would be different if it weren't for Hunter. If he had never met the blonde ninja, he probably wouldn't have made it this far. Because life was hard. And Cam didn't always know what to do. But he didn't always have to. Sometimes, just being there was enough, and even when it wasn't, having Hunter there made a difference.
That was what it came down to. Hunter was the difference in his life. Hunter was his reason.
After what seemed like an eternity, Hunter finally pulled off the track and headed towards him. He rode right past Cam to his trailer, and Cam took a deep breathe.
Hunter got down off his bike and took his helmet off without even glancing at Cam. Cam stepped towards him and waited. Hunter began getting his bike ready to load. He wasn't paying much attention to what he was doing and he was doing it way to fast. Predictably, Hunter smashed his hand on some protruding part, and let fly a couple of colorful curses.
He threw his helmet at the trailer, where it made a very loud banging noise and clattered to the ground unceremoniously. Cam suppressed a smile.
Very slowly, he walked over to his aggravated boyfriend and took his injured hand away from him. Hunter didn't look at him, but he didn't take his hand away. Cam rubbed the inured knuckles gently with his thumbs, and he heard Hunter sigh. Cam brought Hunters hand up to his lips and kissed it.
That seemed to be the last straw for Hunter, because he pulled his hand away and turned towards Cam with a bemused look.
"Why do you do this? Why do you keep coming after me? I'm never going to change, Cam. I'm always going to be like this!" Hunter told him gently. There was suppressed anger in his voice, and maybe it wasn't for Cam and that's why he tried to suppress it.
Cam sighed and crossed his arms. "I know. But I'm not giving up on you yet."
Hunter threw his hands out to the side and let them drop tiredly. "Why?"
"Because I chose this. I chose you. And all your messes. I'm not ready to throw that away because it gets hard sometimes." Cam answered firmly.
"You're a better man than I." Hunter mumbled as he leaned back against his bike.
"No. I'm better because of you." Cam admitted quietly. Hunter looked at him strangely, but when Cam reached out to wrap his arms around the distraught blonde he didn't resist. After a few moments he felt Hunter let out a long breath, and then he wrapped his arms around Cam's waist.
"Thank you." Hunter mumbled into his shoulder.
"For what?" Cam wanted to know as he hugged Hunter tighter.
Hunter pulled away and gently pressed his lips to Cams. It was chaste, and simple, and easy, and loving.
"For loving me." Hunter whispered when he pulled away.
Cam pressed his forehead against Hunter's as they held each other. "Always will."
