All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
But now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it's hard to believing the words you've heard before
But darling, you must trust them just once more.
"Come on, Evans. Just think about it." Not for the first time that day, James found himself practically on his knees in the common room, asking Lily for just a chance. He could hear Sirius sniggering behind him. He resisted the urge to tell him to shut up. He didn't think that would help his cause at all.
"Why should I?" Lily said halfheartedly. He couldn't blame her for her lack of enthusiasm, she had after all answered this question for the hundred time only this morning, but hopefully she would become bored enough to mix things up by saying yes.
"Because," James said slowly, stalling for time. There was only one real answer to her question, but he did not want to give it. Not only would it give her more ammo to use against him, but it would also give Sirius the prove that he was fully lost. "If you–"
"Oh please," She saying, rolling her eyes. "Do not give me another speech about how great my life would be you. God, sometimes I don't think your ego can get any bigger, and then–"
"That's not it." James said quickly, shaking his head. She ignored him.
"And you know fully well that I was just in a relationship, and I'm not really looking forward to another one after that one."
James winced, remembering all too clearly the way her relationship had ended, with a giant blowup fight in the middle of the Great Hall; and the way he had attacked her only a day afterwards, cheerfully stating that she was now free to go out with him. He still had a bump on his head where Lily had thrown her History of Magic book at him.
"It's just–" James cut off, shaking his head again.
"Just what?" Lily asked, her tone sharp.
"I…." He took a deep breathe. It was now or never. He lowered his voice so that no one, other then Lily, could hear him. "I think I might love you."
To his surprise, Lily laughed.
"Good one Potter." She said, closing the book she was reading, and standing up. "Really original."
He stared at her as she walked up to her dormitory, without even looking back at him.
Because baby goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there I won't be long away
Cause the things you do, my goodbye girl, will bring me back to you
James could hear calling Remus calling his name from the train, but he ignored it. The Marauders were all staying at Peter's for Christmas break, a decision made before James had found out that Lily had canceled her plans to go home for break. He wanted to cancel his too, but Remus wouldn't hear of it, preaching to him about how he had already promised them that he would go, and that he couldn't cancel on them for a girl who wasn't even his girlfriend, and who didn't even tolerate him. James had responded by saying that Remus was to moral for his own good, but had reluctantly agreed. He knew Remus was right, but that didn't stop him from hoping he would miss the train.
Which was the whole reason that James was still hovering along the road near the station. He had seen Lily disappear into the train to say goodbye to one of her friends that was leaving, and rather then stalk her down, he preferred to wait for her to come out. There had been a moment, however, where he had left his post to go help Peter put his trunk in the luggage rack, but that was only a few minutes after Lily had gone into the train; she couldn't have come out so quickly.
Now Sirius was calling his too, he could hear the irritation in their voices. He knew he didn't have long, but something in him told him to wait. And then he saw her….
She jumped off the train, shouting a last goodbye at the train, before looking around at the road. He saw her stop slightly as she saw him. He waved to her, and after a few seconds pause, she waved back. Giving him a strange look, she continued walking.
Grinning, James ran to the train, which was beginning to blow it's whistle to single its' departure. Just managing to jump onto the train before it started moving, he ignored his friends, who were rolling their eyes at him. Pushing past them, he glanced over his shoulder, looking out the window, where Lily was standing, watching the train leave.
I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me, instead of giving in
But I can wait forever, a-helping you to see
That I was meant for you, and you for me
A faint sobbing was coming from a armchair in the darkened common room. James wondered who else could possibly be up at this hour, the only reason he was down here was because he had woken up five minutes earlier from a dream in which the some first years had gotten a hold of his entire supply of dung bombs, and were attacking the common room with them, only to realize when he woke up that he had indeed left a bag of them downstairs.
Of course, it would be easy to sneak around the chair, grab the bag, and hurry upstairs. In fact, that was what James had planned to do until the person stopped crying and stood up.
Which left James face to face with Lily Evans.
He barely heard her sharp intake of breath; he was too focused at memorizing how pretty she looked with the faint moonlight shining through the window, the way her puffy eyes only brought out the shocking green in them….
"Sorry," she whispered, wiping her eyes. Her voice snapped James out of his thoughts.
"You okay?" James was surprised to find that he was whispering too. He fought the urge to cringe, he hoped Lily wouldn't think he was mocking her.
"Yeah," she said. "I'm fine."
"Really?" James couldn't help but asking, it was obvious she was lying. Why would she be crying?
"Yes," She said, her voice harsh. "I'm just a little stressed out."
"Okay," James said slowly, still not believing her.
She smiled shyly at him, before walking towards her dormitory door. She paused, before turning back to him.
"Thank you, though." She said quietly. She turned around again quickly, and hurried upstairs.
"Your welcome." James whispered.
So remember goodbye, doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart, you still will have my heart
So forget your past, my goodbye girl, cause now you're home at last.
"Take Harry and go, Lily!" James said roughly, pushing her towards the stairs. "Go and hide!"
He could see the desperation in her eyes, and he knew she didn't want to leave. But he had to protect them, he had long ago promised himself that he would do anything for Lily, even if it meant he had to die for her.
"I love you," she whispered, her voice cracking. Maybe she knew what was in store for him, maybe even her too, and Harry. His beautiful child with the eyes of the first and only girl he'd ever loved….
But he didn't have time to get emotional. Voldemort was here, coming into the house at the very moment they stood here and wasted time. Time, the thing he had never worried Lily and him wouldn't have enough of–
He nodded his head firmly, pushing her again towards the stairs, fighting the urge to kiss her one last time.
She left this time without a word, not a moment too soon, as Voldemort appeared at his shoulder, flicking his wand to push him out of the way. James clutched desperately at his empty pocket, where his wand should have been, if he had not been foolish enough to leave it upstairs. He threw himself in front of the stairway again, praying to God that he was giving Lily and Harry the few seconds they needed to escape….
And he knew that it was goodbye for him, goodbye to his sweet Lily, goodbye to the world. He was going to die, he could feel it with every fiber in his being. And as Voldemort raised his wand to him one last time, James hoped selfishly that he wouldn't be the only one going home; that Lily was going to go with him.
He hoped selfishly that this goodbye wasn't forever.
