"Terra, you can't." His voice was quiet, as though even he knew that she was already gone.

"Watch me." Her eyes began to glow a bright yellow as a devious smile formed on her face.

"Terra, no!" The crack in the ground closed, sealing the green changeling within forever.

So she thought.

Terra couldn't quite comprehend what was going on in her life. She never could, in fact. Her whole existence was sometimes too much to grasp. So many places, so many people, and so few friends. There wasn't any control-everything just went too fast. All of it was a blur; from the moment she met the titans to how she had annihilated them. Terra hadn't meant for any of it to happen, so why had it? They were supposed to have been her friends, one of them maybe more than a friend. Now, it was all gone. She had nothing but Slade left. With him, she had to be devoid of friendship, emotions, and disobedience. Terra didn't like it, and she didn't want to be a part of it anymore, but how could she say no?

Just this morning, Terra had sworn to stay by Slade's side: to fight by him forever. Yet, as she recalled the scene, it was hard remembering the words coming out of her mouth. Had she really said yes? Had she really agreed to destroy a town she had grown to love? It was too late now. It was too late to go back, to make things right. And it was all her fault.

"Slade," she called out hoarsely. Her voice was dry from lack of conversation.

She could still remember how Beast Boy had used to make her laugh all the time.

"Yes, apprentice?" She stiffened in alarm as his head morphed from the shadows, his voice slowly slithering into her ear.

There was something about Slade's voice. He slurred his words together in such a way that they became languid, velvet strings of sound. He had such an immense jurisdiction over the silky tones, and somehow could always keep his feelings hidden. The only time Terra had heard it otherwise was when he was furious, and she didn't want to be the poor soul hanging around if that was the case.

Terra opened her mouth to reply, but the words were gone. What had she been going to say? Nothing. It had merely been an expression. Terra had been unconsciously letting her growing obsession with Slade get the better of her.

"It's late," she finally spoke, searching for an excuse to get out of sight. "I'm going to bed."

She expected him to stop her, to force her into more training, or to simply tell her no; just something to satisfy her attention wants, no, her needs. But he just stepped back, becoming once again cloaked in darkness.

Terra shuddered as she stepped through Slade's lair, her lonely footsteps echoing loudly and unpleasantly. Her room consisted of thick, iron walls, a small bed with brown sheets, a closet holding three outfits at the most, and a large mirror on the right side. It was the closest she had to a home.

Except for the Titans Tower.

She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and pulled off her silver armor. Surprisingly, it seemed harder to pry off than the last time, but she managed to do so with minor difficulties. She pulled off the gloves and white wrappings, staring at her reflection as it mimicked her movements. Her long, blonde hair swept in front of her right eye as she finished shoving the rest of her costume into the wardrobe. Only now, Terra realized how similar her single blue eye related to the way Slade wore his mask. She shivered again and moved closer to the mirror. She was a mess.

Huge, black semi-circles hung underneath her eyes, reminding her of a zombie. She was a zombie, a mindless zombie. Terra ran her hands through her hair, wincing at the countless times she got caught in a tangle. It was pointless to try and straighten out the haystack on her head now, so she moved on to observing the rest of her body. Slade only provided her with very little, just adequate enough food, and she was growing skinnier by the day. Her elbows jutted out at odd angles, her waist resembling a pencil, and her tiny knee knobs were just big enough to support her stick of a body. At this rate, she'd grow thinner than Robin, and the undernourishment was not helping her reach any growth spurts at all.

Her fingers lingered at the blue bra she was wearing, also noting that her chest was not very big either. It didn't necessarily matter, but Terra felt the need to show off something to Slade. She ached for him to interest in more intimate things between him and her, only because she had nothing else to do. With the city taken over, why couldn't she want to focus on something else besides training?

"What is it that troubles you, Terra?"

Terra gasped, cheeks flushing red as she saw Slade's reflection behind her. He didn't seem to care that she was hardly wearing anything. What did that mean?

"I'm fine," she lied.

He walked up to her, casually running a finger down her shoulder blades, looking at and communicating to her through the mirror. "You worry about your looks?"

She almost moaned at the contact he was bestowing upon her and stared imploringly at the blue eye showing through his mask. The question had not made its way to her mind clearly enough, at least, with the bubbling emotions noisily rolling through her stomach at the moment.

Slade could tell, but he wasn't interested in Terra's body. Girls weren't really his thing.

"I can help you, Terra, with whatever you need. Today, you have made me very proud indeed. Get a good night's sleep, because tomorrow will be different."

He removed his hand from her back and quietly closed the door behind him. Terra felt complete, utter disappointment that he had not taken anything further. She was frightened with herself for desiring for such things…with Slade, of all people! But it was impossible to shake the feeling that she had missed out on a big opportunity.

She had.

She had lost the chance to have friends.

She had lost the chance to be good.

And she had lost the chance to go back.

In hopes that Slade might return later that night, Terra didn't slip into her pale, blue nightgown. She didn't like the small traces of frills left in the collar anyway, and the summer heat was sure to get to her sooner or later. But Slade's lair never felt warm, despite whatever the weather was outside, so she crept under the covers gratefully.

Terra saw a flash of green in her mind, the pointed ears, and the dorky but cute smile. Beast Boy again. Sighing, knowing she couldn't shake away the past, she reached under her pillow, retrieving a silver, glittering box. She had gone back to the tower without Slade knowing (she hoped) and fetched it from her old room. And as a secret to everyone, she had placed a picture of Beast Boy inside the container. It was her way of apologizing, but also a keepsake to help her remember everything. It was still hard, but Terra knew that she had always had a soft spot for that little shape-shifter. She also knew that no matter what Slade said, she had loved being a Teen Titan.

She opened the lid, astonished to find that her picture had been torn in half. Her hands trembled uncontrollably, clutching at the two halves with her mouth hanging open in dismay. Terra would never have ripped such an important memoir, even with all the stress built upon her and her sometimes fatal lack of self-control. Slade had done it, she knew it. Tears welled in the very corners of her eyes, and though she held her breath and used all her strength to hold it back, they came spilling down her cheeks.

Clenching the box tight in her fist, she stood up, fury causing her shoulders to shake. She glared at her reflection, who in turn, glared back at her. Terra screamed loud and long, the shrill sound seeming to explode through the whole town; then threw the hoary heart at the mirror with all her might.

Everything shattered.

Slade had heard the thunderous crash of breaking glass from his quarters, and had rushed to Terra's room quickly but stealthily. Her whole mirror had been close enough to obliterated, and there was something else metallic that glinted in pieces on the floor. When he saw a shredded corner of the photo of Beast Boy, he guessed what it was. Terra was in bed, sleeping. Slade pulled off the blankets to see if she had hurt herself. Her hair was more knotted than ever, as if she had raked her hands through it in panic. There were a number of small cuts all over her: on her legs, arms, hands, face, stomach, and back. Only lesser wounds though, undoubtedly from the glass wreckage. Dried tears stained her cheeks, and she was perpetually sobbing, even in her sleep.

Slade dropped the sheets back over the sorry sight and paced back to his throne. He stared at the screens replaying Terra's many steps in the extermination of the titans, noting that her eyes were cold and her posture confident. How very different this girl was from the one in his possession right now.

Seven years of bad luck, he thought absentmindedly. How troublesome.

There was a lot of work to be done.