I don't believe it anymore Inspired by Cote de Pablo's "I don't believe it anymore."

Ziva was rescued from somalia three years ago, She is coping as best as possible under the circumstances, She has learnt to put a mask over her emotions but what happens when Ziva has a nightmare she can't forget? NCIS, English, mainly Z. David, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Loyalty (Bold is lyrics)

"I used to believe in love, I used to believe in fate, I used to believe that I could find my way, I used to believe in miracles, I used to believe in God (Elohim) above, but now I see my faith has been betrayed."

I was on the Damocles and the alarm had been raised, "Freighter hit, I repeat, Freighter hit." was all I made out when it was being broadcast (in hebrew) over the freighter's tannoy, barely an hour after the alarm, the ship went down, killing most of the crew; I was taken prisoner by hostiles on the somali coast and taken to one of the prison camps and became their hostage, torture after torture, a nightmare...one I could wake up from- it was horrendous...

"As I get closer to the truth, I can finally see my destiny, and if I can find a way to make it all seem right...you would still be gone and I'd be here alone."

Any type of torture you can name, I guarantee I was subject to it; mind games, beating, burning, whipping, dislocating, waterboarding (dry drowning), rape...You name it.

Eventually I just caved, gave up, too weak to fight back, too hurt to even try, broken bones? Huh, that's nothing compared to what happened to me, it was agonising- at the same time, every night, one of Saleem's doosies (dim men) would and straddle me, I would instantly close my eyes, wait for it to be over before I opened them...or until I was punched or slapped, after the doosy left my legs would feel like jelly and would ache, no end to it until Tony found my location and drew up a plan of action

A/N: Tony's point of view next, Please review, let me know if you want me to carry on or not

it would be appreciated :)