A/N: First go at the pairing combo I'm trying, so please be gentle?
----- ---------- -------
Sirius was never enough for Remus.
They would lie awake beside each other, dozing in the after-glow of that moment, and Sirius would smile that lazy grin under puppy-dog eyes. Those were the moments Remus should have been happy with his lover, but instead he wasw always struck by the sense that he was not yet full with emotion. Sirius Black was energetic, vibrant, even after being stuck in Azkaban. yet he was not enough for Remus Lupin.
It had only begun shortly after the start of the Order of the Phoenix. Sure when they were children there were glances, more-so when they grew older, but neither had been willing to act on the urges. Remus had been sure Sirius was a womanizer, and Sirius had felt the mild-mannered Lupin could not handle his affection. Both were very wrong...
Yet it was not enough.
When Tonks began to flirt with him, Remus was taken aback. He had been quiet about his relationship with Sirius, but was sure that Black had explained things to his favorite cousin's daughter; apparently, Tonks either ignored it or felt it inconsequential if she in fact knew. And Sirius looked at the metamorphmagus with curious eyes all too often, eyes that made Remus wonder about his bed mate's habits.
By the time the Order had to pick up Harry for the first time as an organization, Remus had begun to talk with the auror and become highly impressed with her personality. She had more vigor than Sirius, and let herself be bubbly while still being deadly. She was the perfect woman, and a very competant soldier. When she fought, truly fought, she let her form change to that of a teenaged girl: slim, petite, and very dexterous. Remus enjoyed watching her work.
It wasn't until shortly after Christmas that the the shy professor felt comfortable bringing this up to his lover, the ever-childish Sirius Black. Sirius was not surprised, and in fact made the suggestion of adding her company first. Remus blushed but did not contradict.
Perhaps Sirius understood that he could not be enough for Remus. Perhaps Remus was not enough for him. For whatever reason, Tonks found the question amusing and decided to give the "together" thing a try.
The trio met almost nightly. Tonks moved in to Grimmauld Place to be with Sirius and Remus; this had not been on purpose at first, but turned into the reality of the situation. They shared everything, and the glow from face to face could not be ignored. The rest of the Order certainly didn't miss that SOMETHING was going on under this roof when meetings were not in session. Few could pinpoint precisely what...perhaps, in fact, only Dumbledore and Molly.
And for once, Remus found himself feeling complete.
Sirius' death shocked everyone, but affected nobody more than Remus and Tonks. They worked together for months, hoping to keep each other from depression. Instead, the idea back-fired as Tonks fell too in love with Remus; her entire world fell flat when he expressed his unwillingness to share his world with her. With any one person, in fact; it was different when there were two, he explained. Alone, Remus was not able to be what she needed. He was old, poor, and dangerous. He could not be there for her all the time, like he should have been. No matter how many times Tonks professed she didn't care, his lines refused to change.
In fact, there was no one event that changed the facts. It was a hunch, and a feeling of regret when he thought of Tonks. So very different from when he had began with Sirius.
Sirius had never been enough for Remus.
Once Albus Dumbledore had perished, the werewolf stopped to think about his relationship with Tonks and how it felt. The differences were astounding.
Because Tonks, with her bubblegum hair and clumsy gait, WAS enough. So Remus did the only thing he could.
He gave in.
Not until Teddy did it feel right. And not until he walked in on Bellatrix finishing her work, using the cruciatus on her own niece until the former auror passed out and into death, did Remus realize he truly had come to see Tonks as his entire world. From there, death came naturally to him.
Because without Tonks, nothing else would ever be enough again.
