Disclaimer: Of course none of these brilliant characters and settings belong to me. Would I be writing fan-fiction if I did? No of course not :P
Author's Note: This ended up being a continuation of an idea I had ages ago and it finally came into being after inspiration struck. Inspiration provided by the song "Apologise" by Timbaland (feat One Republic).
Thanks to the bestest friend a girl could ever have: Narcissa B Malfoy. Thanks for being my ever faithful editor -taps chest-
It's Too Late
Dark clouds rumbled ominously overhead as Lily Evans walked the grounds, in the evening of their Defence against the Dark Arts OWL exam. Tears stained her face, her eyes puffy and red.
I cannot believe what Severus did today… she mused painfully. I thought he was past all that kinds of talk. A sob caught in her throat as the final most hurtful thought of all hit her: I thought he really cared about me
Lily fell to the ground besides a large oak tree as the tears broke free and tumbled down her normally pale face which was now flushed pink. She felt humiliated; she had put up with a lot to be Severus' friend and she had never regretted it. Despite what everyone else would tell her about him, she held true in her heart that she knew the real Severus and that he was nothing like what James Potter would have everyone believe. He was a good person.
However, today changed everything. The hateful words that spilled from his mouth destroyed every good thing she thought about him. Her hopes that he cared enough about her not to give in to the torture and teasing from the Marauders were cruelly dashed. Lily buried her face in her arms and cried despairingly, her voice lost in the wild whistle of the winds tumbling through the trees.
A twig snapped behind her, alerting her to someone else's presence.
"Lily!" the voice cried out over the winds.
"Leave me alone, Severus!" You are the last person I want to see right now!" she screamed, her back facing him. Severus, either not hearing or not listening to what she said ran forwards and fell at her feet, desperation in his eyes.
"Lily! Please! I am so sorry!" he choked, tears falling uninhibited down his face. Lily stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Why did you do it? I thought you were better than that!" Severus clamped his mouth with his hand as he sobbed harder and harder.
"I didn't mean it, it was an accident. Please, I need you, Lily, I really do!"
"You've said that before, then you went and let me down. It's too late, Severus."
"I'm sorry, Lily. Please believe me!" he reached out and clutched the hem of her robe.
"It's not as easy as that, Severus. I cannot forgive you this time, you humiliated me and now it's too late for your apologies." Lily replied, tears streaming down her face as she turned away from him. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she couldn't trust he wouldn't hurt her like that again.
The sight of Severus broken down and crying on the ground broke her heart, but he'd hurt her too much. She stood up walked away, stopping just as she past him.
"I loved you, Severus Snape." Lily then ran away back towards the castle before her resolve failed and she let his mistake slip past without him suffering the consequences.
Severus grasped at the grass tightly, pulling tufts clear out of the ground as he heard Lily say the words he had longed to hear, in any other context than this. Her words ripped through his heart as he knew he lost the only chance at happiness he was going to ever have. A friendship and even a love like hers was one of a kind, the only person he ever knew who liked him for who he was and didn't judge him on his blood or his appearance.
He lay there for what felt like hours, sobbing into the ground, ignoring the cold harsh rains which fell down from the tumultuous skies. It wasn't until Professor Dumbledore came across the grounds to help him inside, did he move. Severus, not caring that the Professor was his teacher; he turned to him and cried heart-wrenchingly into his robes.
"I've lost her. Because of my stupidity, I lost her." Dumbledore held the boy close in a comforting embrace as he led him inside the castle, his heart breaking at the sight of the normally cold and reserved Severus Snape in tears.
Lily stumbled through the castle as she slowly made her way up the staircases and through the portrait door to the Gryffindor common room, ignoring the frantic questions of the Fat Lady. The shocked face of James Potter greeted her as she closed the portrait behind her.
"Lily! What happened?" James asked concernedly as he stepped towards her.
"You! It's entirely your fault! Why did you have to provoke him! Why? He did nothing wrong to you!" Lily lunged for James and bashed her fists against his chest before falling, sobbing into his arms. "What did he do wrong?" she whispered desolately again as she clutched his jumper.
"He called you names I will never repeat. He can't do that." He replied solemnly as Lily recognised something in his tone of voice, something she didn't want to hear now. She shoved him away roughly, screaming.
"You ruined everything, James Potter! Everything!" and with that, she ran up the stairs to the girls dormitories.
As soon as he heard the door slam, James ran out of the common room and down the many flights of stairs to the Entrance Hall where he saw Professor Dumbledore leading a soaking wet Severus Snape in from the rain.
"Snape!" he shouted out across the hall, his voice cracking slightly. Severus and Professor Dumbledore stopped in their tracks and turned to James. "I hate you! I hate you for hurting Lily! She gave you a chance and was your friend when no one else in their right mind would have been and you ruined it! Good job, Snivellus! You deserve to be alone and have no one to care for you!" He made to move closer when Dumbledore held up his hand to stop him.
"Mr Potter, please go to your dormitory. This poor boy has suffered enough; he doesn't need to have it thrown back in his face."
"Lily didn't need to hear what he said about her today either, Sir." Severus looked up at the face of his enemy, James Potter and the expression in his eyes was unspeakably familiar; the look he had every time he thought or talked about Lily Evans. In that moment he knew he had lost her forever. It was too late.
