Behind the Bushes

By Spectra16 (Grabbed by the ankles)

A/N: I absolutely LOVE Lemony Snicket and I might be going to see him Nov. 2nd. I'm so excited! screams I'm so hardcore for him. My favorite of the Unfortunate Events is the Unauthorized Autobiography, which is what this song is loosely based on. Actually, this song hints sexual content, but only if you have a dirty mind. It's more of a punk rock song, as distasteful as punk rock is. But it fits. It's a spooky tune. Reminds me of My Chemical Romance or something. Keep that in mind. And some angry Vivaldi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Series of Unfortunate Events. Luff Lemony instead.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Behind the Bushes

Shh, the world is quiet here.

(A few moments of silence until guitar chord is loudly struck.)

Verse 1

What do all of these symbols mean?

L, I don't know who you are.

Your letters mean nothing to me.

It's a shame you got fired,

But it was your fault.

And such a lad dragged from your home,

Why would you remember that happening?

Pass the sugar bowl, please.

My hooks can grasp the handles.

Where have you put my costumes?

I'll dress up for you.

If they burned with the fire,

I'm going to think you're the liar.

Chorus

Punctilio, Prosper, whatever you prefer.

I just want to know your real name.

The world is quiet here.

The organization's pretty lame.

Why is there an eye on my ankle?

And why did this ship sink?

Let's hide behind the bushes.

It'll give us more time to think.

Verse 2

These ashes are memories from them.

Sent to us from M.

Don't bring that violin near me.

Put your ankles where we can see.

How many more notes shall we take

Before my brain starts to bake?

Leeches should never be in a film.

Oh no, they're coming from the helm.

Love conquers nearly everything.

Bridge

This is the bad beginning,

This is the inevitable end.

This is the series

Where bad things happen to good people.

This is one last warning to those

Who try to stand in my way.

(Chorus 1x)

Verse 3

Volunteer at the local FD,

And stay clear of O and E.

The emerald Victorian,

Theatrical draconian.

The schism was just weird.

If only we had a fake beard.

I know what indignant means!
And Justice is reserved for fiends.

The Bells toll for Hemingway,

When will we ever be safe?

Trouble appears to be coming this way.

Our best bet is behind the bushes.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Aw. I like this song. Huh. Thanks for reading. I think this is my favorite song I've written yet.