Disclaimer: "So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"

(An: Couple things: I know that Kurama is actually older than Hiei, but as Shuichi, he's much younger, so I decided to go with that, even though I stuck with his normal name... and I have no idea about Japanese colleges or apartments, I just assume they're different than American ones. -sweatdrop-)

"Good God, I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"You say that even though words fail to describe how much you annoy me."

Kurama set down his cup and smiled at me. "Why, Hiei, such flowery language." Still smiling that smile, he took a sip of coffee. My coffee. He cocked his head and swilled the drink around in his mouth, raising an eyebrow. "Frankly, I can't understand why you like something so sweet. You look like you'd take it black and call anyone who didn't a girl's name."

I made a face at him and grabbed for the cup. He just stepped out of reach and took another sip. To admit that I loathed black coffee because of an overpowering sweet tooth would be to lose face. I settled for scowling at him. "If you're going to steal my coffee, at the very least buy me another one."

"Are we dating now? I hadn't realized we were so close," drawled Kurama, taking another sip. "What is this, caramel?" He took a third and made a face. "Ugh, it's making my teeth hurt."

I ignored that, paying more attention to his real point. We weren't close. We just lived in the same apartment and did laundry on the same day. Laundry. Yeah, that was why he had my coffee. I had put in my quarters and started the machine, and when I turned around, I saw him gingerly sniffing it. "If you don't like it, then give it back."

"Oh, I'm not saying I don't like it. It's just different, that's all." He drank deeply this time, still grinning that evil grin. Oh, I wanted to murder him. Which was odd, since, as I said, I barely knew him. I was surprised he even knew my name; we didn't live on the same floor, and we rarely spoke. I only knew him because he was friends with my sister's boyfriend.

"Jerk." Before I could think of a good follow-up, the washing machine behind me made a terrible groaning noise, and the top flew open. I jumped; Kurama didn't even twitch.

"It'll do that," he shrugged. "Close the lid and sit on it for a few minutes this time. That should help."

I took his advice, glad that I didn't have to put in more money. It wasn't like I had much of it, after all. That was what pissed me off most- I looked forward to my caramel lattes all week. As dumb as it was, I always left room in my budget for a few of those on Saturdays. I loved them. They kept me sane. Insult to injury, that's what this was.

"Is the washing machine still acting up?" Kurama asked after a moment. "You're suddenly glaring at me like I tripped your grandmother as opposed to kicking your dog."

"Those aren't cheap."

Kurama looked at the styrofoam cup, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Somehow, I figured you made these in the basement and put the logo on the side to make yourself feel better."

"You're buying me another one," I growled, hopping to the floor.

"It's amazing how you can sound so menacing about a caramel latte." He drank the rest and shrugged. "It is rather satisfying, though."

And that was how I found myself in a coffee shop about a half-hour later, waiting in line with the redhead. "Quit looking at me like that. This was your idea."

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"What are you mad at me for? Are you afraid people will think we are on a date?" He grinned at me, fingering a strand of his red hair. "I know that I get mistaken for a girl all the time." It really was a gorgeous shade... He snapped his fingers in my face. "It's your call, Hiei, since you were the one who invited me." He fished around in his pocket for his wallet. "Even though I am the one paying..."

I couldn't think of a good comeback; I was too busy wondering why I had been so fascinated by his hair, even if it had only lasted a moment. "For that, I'm making you get a large."

"For what? The date comment? It's what people are going to think." Kurama shrugged. "It's certainly happened to me before."

"You mean you make it a routine to buy random men coffee?"

He shrugged again. "No, but people have the oddest habit of assuming I'm gay. It's the impeccable smart-casual wardrobe." He grinned at me oddly- almost nervously...?

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Oh, gods, I'm on a date with a crazy guy... It took me a second to realize I'd actually thought of it like that. I facepalmed. This was getting ridiculous.

A gentle hand met my back and pushed me forward, and I realized that we were next in line. Kurama beamed at me. "Now tell the nice lady what you want," he said, beaming at me.

Vowing dirty, bloody, maybe even kinky revenge- no, definitely no kinkiness, since that would confirm this was a date, and it most certainly WAS NOT- I rattled off my order. Kurama, looking mildly impressed, paid, and we stepped aside to wait.

My coffee came soon, so we didn't have to stand around looking like idiots for too long. The woman behind the counter handed Kurama a cinnamon roll with a smirk and a wink, which he returned. She looked at me. "That's a tall order for such a young boy. Wouldn't you prefer a booster seat?"

"I'm twenty-five!" I said, just barely keeping my voice level.

"…Oh," said the woman, fiddling with her apron. "Would you like a cinnamon roll?"

"How about my dignity?" I snapped, walking away. I walked outside, shifting the hot coffee from hand to hand. "The annoyances of being beautiful versus the perks of being short. Jesus!"

"You think I'm beautiful?" said Kurama. "Oh, Hiei, really?" He fluttered his eyelashes and beamed at me.

"Gah!" I swore, just now realizing I'd said that aloud. It was true- those green eyes and that red hair brought to mind "pretty boy". Then I recovered my cool, brushing a nonexistant speck of dust off my shoulder. "Yes, you're attractive. Even if I were blind, I could tell that by the way all the girls keep pawing at you."

Kurama tapped his lips with a finger. "I guess you've got a point about the annoyances," he sighed. Then he shrugged. "Well, if you complimented me, then it must be a date."

"It's not. You just owe me, that's all." The damn coffee was still too hot to drink. I love sweetness, but there was no way I could take it scalding. I sat down at one of the outside tables and wistfully set the cup down. I'd have to wait, prolonging this whole encounter.

Kurama shrugged again and started picking apart the cinnamon roll. After a few moments of silence, he said, "I guess asking you what you do for fun is pointless, since I know you collect the severed heads of your enemies…"

"Actually, I prefer to take their eyes. It's a fetish… I know you like to garden," I commented, and then I instantly wondered why I was attempting to make small talk. I never said anything unless it had a point. Was I actually trying to befriend this boy?

And then I was staring at his mouth, coiled in a small smirk.

Hell's bells, was I attracted to him?

No, no, that was just ridiculous… even if he did look like he'd taste even better than my coffee. It was finally cool enough, so I took a sip and forced myself to focus on his reply, not just the lips that were shaping it.

O-o-O-o-O

I wonder if I'm being too transparent… I paused, pretending to be thinking of something more to say, but really, I was considering him. After a moment, I decided, Nah. I'd have to hit him with a brick to get him to notice. "I know that your sister loves my roses."

Hiei's free hand jerked; his answer was a clipped, "Yes."

Ok, I probably shouldn't mention Yukina again… I fumbled for a subject and found nothing as fascinating as the hair that fell in his eyes.

He seemed to sense my disorientation, since he murmured, "You look young to be living on your own."

"I'm nineteen… almost." I resisted the urge to pout and finished off my pastry. "And I don't have anywhere else to go. My parents are both dead."

Hiei didn't seem surprised by my bluntness, which really was to be expected. He sipped his coffee and replied, "So are mine. That's why Yukina's living with me. Otherwise, she wouldn't even know I existed."

I cocked my head. Well, I guess it's ok to talk about her if he brought it up… He said it so casually too, even though his affections for his sister clearly ran deep. "Really?"

Hiei nodded, studying the air just over my shoulder. "My parents got divorced when we were young. She was too small to remember, and my parents had little contact afterward. Nevertheless, she was foisted on me when my father died." He shrugged. "I don't mind, though." His tone was offhand and dismissive, but his eyes told another story.

"So you lived with your mother?"

Hiei nodded. "She died a few years ago, a little before I graduated. My father was in a car accident."

"You must worry about your sister, then."

Hiei nodded. "She hated me for a while, but she tried to hide it. It didn't bother me- I'd hate me, too. I already hate me." He blinked, rewinding what he'd said, and cursed softly again, taking a long draught of his coffee.

"Freudian slips run amuck, eh?"

He made a face. "I think that lady drugged my coffee. This word vomit is getting annoying."

"Maybe you just trust me," I suggested. "Either that, or you'll start seeing pink elephants everywhere soon." Hiei frowned, eyeing me skeptically. He doubts my motives. How amusing. "Hey, if you don't want to explain it, don't. I'm usually not fond of soul-spilling on a first date, either."

"It's not a date!" Hiei hissed, nearly spilling his coffee in his agitation.

I shrugged, keeping my face mild. "Like I said, your call."

"You keep saying that. Do you want it to be a date?"

I propped my chin on my fist. After a minute, I took a deep breath. On the exhale, "Yes, I do. I want that very much. You are the most intriguing person I've ever met."

Hiei didn't look up for a long moment. Then he shrugged. "I guess it's a date, then." And he smiled, almost nervously, as he finished his coffee.

(I wish I could round that out to a nice, even 2,000, but that's about as far as the idea'll take me… ah, such is life. Review!)