I read a story that used direct quotes like this ("The End of the Day", by Karen. Great story, check it out!) and liked it. I think quotes really add effect...

Disclaimer: No I don't own this one either...geez...

The sun had just begun to set when they had boarded Kaiba's aircraft for the Battle City finals. Everyone had been excited to see who the constants would be, who they would duel, who would win. But none of that mattered anymore. The excited feeling had gone, as though someone had pulled a plug somewhere.

"Don't try to be a hero Joey! Get out of here!"

"No! I'm staying right here!"

Mai lay on the dueling arena floor among her scattered cards. She had been helpless, pinned down like a rodent in a trap. Waiting for Marik to take the final blow. Everyone knelt around her, the same worried look written across their faces.

"She's not coming to."

Tea's words were sharp in the deadened silence, but Joey didn't need to hear them. They would only confirm what he refused to believe.

"Winged Dragon of Ra, direct attack!"

"Get out of here Joey! Save yourself!"

"No. I'm staying right here."

Those horrid words. They rang in his ears, sharp and piercing, fastening themselves in his mind and refusing to let go. They brought tears to his eyes, tears of horrible frustration. He had been there, he could have stopped it. But he didn't. He'd just stood by and allowed Marik to deal out his power. Stood by and allowed Marik to destroy the woman he loved.

"All right you geeks, clear the field for the next duel." Seto's voice jarred him painfully back to the present.

"Kaiba…"

"I said clear the field. I'm dueling next and have to prepare the field."

Kaiba didn't understand. He could never know what it was like to have friends, friends who depended on him. Friends who trusted him enough to protect them. But maybe he could have. Maybe Seto could have saved them.

Joey moved slowly, as though in a trance. He gently lifted Mai's limp form from the ground, weightless with the absence of her soul. Her eyes were glassy, the usual gleam that always shone in them gone.

"Why?" He thought miserably. "Why couldn't it have been someone else, me even? Why did Marik have to destroy her?"

He was alone as he descended to the lower levels of the blimp. The others had remained on the sky level, waiting for the final duel to play out. They cared who won the duel. They weren't worried about what Marik had done. Not like he was.

"I'm so sorry Mai. I should have done something."

Joey slowly slipped Mai's door key from her pocket and opened the door to her room. It was dark and cheerless inside, as though to confirm the fact that it's occupant was gone. The darkness reminded him of what had happened only moments ago. Joey saw Marik's evil gaze clearly, as though he was standing in front of him.

"You will be swallowed by the shadows!"

"I don't think so tough guy. I'm not scared of you, so take your best shot."

"You'll regret those words."

"No! Get out of my head!" He shook his head, trying to rid it of the horrible vision. It had been real enough the first time. Marik didn't have to make it any worse.

Tears crept to Joey's eyes as he laid Mai on her bed. He blinked hard and tried not to fear what would happen if Marik wasn't defeated.

"You have 24 hours to defeat me. If I cannot be defeated in that time, her mind will be lost to the Shadow Realm forever!"

"That spiteful jerk. He knows Yugi could kick his butt in a duel, so he cheats to get ahead."

He buried his face in the sheets of Mai's bed as tears rolled down his cheeks. The horrible memories floated through his mind freely, each playing itself over and over again.

"Mai wanted to feel like your friend, but you were too immature to let her."

"Notice her lifeless form. Her mind is in the Shadow Realm!"

"Winged Dragon of Ra, let us attack now!"

"Don't try to be a hero Joey! Get out of here! Save yourself!"

"No. I'm staying right here."

"If I cannot be defeated in that time, her mind will be lost to the Shadow Realm forever!"

"Her mind is but a shadow of its former self, and its growing dimmer. Every second she loses more; her family, her friends, everything she holds in her heart."

And there was his voice, promising she would be okay, promising she would be able to defeat Marik.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise Mai. And I never break a promise to a friend."

"I'll always be here for you Mai."

"I promised her she would be okay. I promised Marik wouldn't be able to hurt her. But I was wrong."

Joey curled up alongside Mai's bed and cried.

"Joey! It's our duel now! It's time to fulfill our promise."

That voice. It seemed so familiar. Could it be…

"Another person dissapeared from this world and became a sacrifice to the darkness. Who will be the next sacrifice?"

Joey was floating, floating in a world of darkness. No light penetrated the dark walls of this new realm. It was nothingness itself. Something Marik had once said resurfaced in his mind.

"The darkness of the Shadow Realm is taking everything."

The Shadow Realm…could this be that place Marik described so frequently. If that were true, Mai would be there as well.

Faint voices echoed through the darkness, trying to reach out to him. They sounded distant and faint, as though they were being purposely blocked out.

"The darkness of the Shadow Realm is taking everything."

"You will be swallowed by the shadows."

Marik had defeated him.

I actually like this one, despite being from my days as a beginner author. Do you know how many times I had to watch that episode to get the quotes!