Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

"Mmm...Suzu-chan...why does C.C. taste so good...?" Lelouch mumbled in his sleep, rubbing up against his life-sized Kallen pillow. At the foot of his bed was a baby crib, where Shirlee was in a peaceful deep slumber. Since Nina had continuously denied giving birth to the child (she looked rather nervous when questioned, though), it ended up becoming Lelouch's full responsibility to raise the baby. If anything, he planned on making her become a master masseuse before she reached 10.

Suddenly, just as his dream was reaching its climax, his cellphone began to ring.

Holding the phone up to his ear, Lelouch grumbled, "...Wazzup, Smokey the Bear?"

"Ah, I'm glad you finally picked up, Lelouchebag!!" exclaimed Charles zi Britannia's gruff voice over the phone.

"Daaaaaad...I already told you to stop calling me that!!!"

"...What?"

"STOP CALLING ME 'LELOUCHEBAG'!! It's getting old...LIKE YOU!!!"

Charles let out a small whimper. "You...you don't have to be so blunt about it..."

"Ugh...dad, don't cry..."

"Wah...wah...wah..."

"GODDAMMIT, DAD, YOU'RE...YOU'RE...I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE, BUT YOU'RE DAMN OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW TO ACT MATURE, UNLIKE ME, BECAUSE I'M STIL A CHILD AT HEART!!...Now why the hell did you call me in the middle of the night?"

Charles sniffled a little, and then replied, "Well, I just wanted to tell you I found a new wife to replace that useless bisexual slut Marianne!!"

"DAD, I TOLD YOU THAT NO ONE COULD EVER REPLACE MY MOTHER - Did you just say she's bisexual?!"

"Yeah...didn't C.C. tell you about it?"

Lelouch furrowed his brow. "No...no, she didn't..."

"She was an evil bitch, too...I found that out after reading it on the Code Geass wiki..."

"...Huh?"

Charles sighed. "Never mind...do you wanna know who your new momma's gonna be?"

Lelouch sighed as well, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whatever. Just...just tell me..."

"HER NAME...IS SHIRLEY FENETTE..."

"..."

"...Lelouchebag?"

"..."

"Lelouchebag?! You still there?!"

Lelouch crushed the phone in his hands with sheer strength alone, and then, he stood up. Slowly, he opened the bedroom door, and stepped out into the hallway. His face remained devoid of emotion as he walked through the dark halls, moonlight shining in through the large glass windows. When he reached Nunnally's bedroom, he knocked once on the door.

After a few seconds, Nunnally's voice spoke up, "...Dad's getting married to another over-eager tween idol-wannabe again, isn't he?"

"...Yes," Lelouch replied.

"That sucks," Nunnally muttered.

"Yup..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Can I draw that porn doujin of you now?"

"NO, BROTHER!!!"

Lelouch cursed under his breath, and walked away...only to slip and crash to the ground, and then his hair caught on fire, but he just laid there and took it...

...LIKE A MAN!!!!!!