Chapter One
You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?
Stiles POV:
I love him. There are no ifs, buts or maybes about it. I love Derek Hale. I think I knew from the moment I held him up in a pool for two hours during the Kanima incident but with everything else going I was just too afraid to let myself admit it and with living in Beacon Hills and his seemingly endless parade of gorgeous bed mates and girlfriends it just never seemed like the right time to say anything or do anything about it. So I tried to move passed it and after Mexico when he left with Braeden without so much as a goodbye, I genuinely thought that I may never see him again and that physically hurt.
It had been six months since Mexico and I was at Derek's loft just doing my usual check on the place. I had just opened the door to leave and walked straight into a solid body. I just about bounced back and would have fell back on my ass if it wasn't for two strong arms grabbing me and stopping mere inches from the ground. "Derek?" I said in almost a whisper as he pulled me back up into a standing position. "Stiles? What are you doing here?" He asks me, looking confused as to why I am in his loft in the first place. "You're back." I say more to myself then to him before I gather my thoughts and finally answer his question. "I was just checking on the place, I've sort of been looking after it while you were gone on the odd chance that you were coming back not that anyone of us knew if you were coming back seeing as you never said goodbye and we haven't heard from you in six months." I took a breath. I knew I was rambling and I was trying to keep the hurt from my voice but I continued anyway, I just needed to get out of there and fast. I was just making a fool of myself now. "But you're back now so I'll be going, see you around Derek." I said as I went to grab my backpack from near the loft door and went to step around him to leave when he spoke. "Stiles wait." He sounded almost sad, not used to hearing that tone in his voice I halt in my movements and turn to face him. He looks at me and looks as though he wants to say something important, his mouth opens and closes a few times while he considers what to say before he finally settles on it. "Thank you. For taking of the loft." If I was a betting man I could have sworn that he was going to say something else and I can't say I wasn't disappointed so I just nodded and left. I can't believe he's back.
It was only a matter of days before I would see him again and it was at the next pack meeting, which we had taken to having at the McCall house in his absence. I was late getting there as Dad caught me on my way out of the house on his way back in from a double shift at the station and wanted to know if I had decided on any colleges yet. He seemed keen for me to get out of Beacon Hills for some reason, but he had gotten more protective of me, as if there were possible, since he finally learnt the truth about the supernatural going ons in Beacon Hills. I quickly shot him a reply and left for Scott's. As I let myself in and yelled my apologies from the front door, it didn't even cross my mind that he might be there but sure enough sitting on one of the two seat couches was the man that only a few days earlier had caught me in his arms and the man whom which I have had serious feelings for a very long time. Nobody but Derek seemed to notice my hesitation as I took the only remaining seat left in the room which was of course right next to him on the couch. Edging myself as close to the opposite end of the couch as I could I caught him glance at me with a puzzled look out of the corner of my eye. A look that quickly became one of sadness and before anyone else could notice it was gone, replaced by his same old stoic, emotionless expression. As the meeting wound on I could only obtain bits and pieces as my ADHD-addled mind was running a hundred miles an hour with all these different thoughts. Thoughts about Derek. I really needed to get out of here and finally my prayers were answered and the meeting drew to a close. We usually have a pack hang out session following a meeting but I made my excuses and got the hell out of there and away from Derek as quickly as I could. I had just reached the door to the jeep when I felt a hand on my shoulder turn me around and the cause of my distraction was staring back at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "Why are you avoiding me, Stiles?" The question sounded simple but the answer was anything but. Because I love you and when you left it hurt me. Because how could you ever have feelings for me the same way I have feelings for you. Because you're straight and have never shown any interest in guys, well at least not this one. Is what I wanted to say but I just couldn't why? Because I'm a coward so instead I just replied with a half truth, "You make me nervous." "I always make you nervous, what's different?" He had me there, so I decided to throw caution to the wind, it was either now or never. So I placed my hand behind his neck and pulled him towards me and kissed him. At first I was sure he was going to push me away, as he didn't kiss me back but then something changed. It was if a switch had been flicked and suddenly he pushed me back against the side of the jeep and deepened the kiss, forcing me to groan into his mouth as I could feel myself harden against him and him harden against me. All too soon however, breathing became an issue and we slowly pulled apart just far enough so that our foreheads were leaning against each other and that I was still pinned between his firm, well-muscled body. "Come back to mine." He said it more as a statement then as a question but that was fine with me. Still slightly out of breath from the passionate embrace only moments ago I nod and he takes a step back to allow me to get into the jeep before hurriedly getting in the Camaro.
I don't even remember the drive to the loft, the next thing I do remember is Derek dragging me inside and pushing me against the now closed door for another passionate kiss before dragging me towards his bedroom. What followed once we were in there was nothing short of spectacular. Once we had stripped each other he had me in a moaning mess in next to no time and it wasn't until I started begging did he finally start opening me up with his fingers and tongue in preparation for his massive, hard cock that was absolutely drool worthy. Before long I practically levitating, my back was arched off the bed that much when without warning he removed his fingers and let out low laugh in response to my whimper at the action before brutally thrusting into me. The preparation he carried out did little to really prepare me for the size of his monster cock and as he fully sheathed himself inside me I released a silent scream in pain. As I opened my eyes I was met by his and from the blue hue they had taken on and the claws that had extended from his fingertips that were wrapped around my thighs that he held over his shoulders I knew he was fighting a losing battle to keep to wolf at bay. "Derek its ok, don't hold back. Fuck me." I said almost in whisper but it was enough. Without further delay he pulled nearly the whole way out before slamming back into me at an inhuman pace. With every thrust he was hitting my prostate and I knew it wouldn't be long before I came. I could feel myself beginning to tighten around his cock and after a few more expert strokes I came screaming his name and that was enough to force him over the edge as well as I felt him fill me with his hot seed and collapse on top of me. We stayed that way for a few minutes before he eased out of me and headed to the bathroom to retrieve a washcloth with which he cleaned me. If I wasn't so amazingly blissed out from the orgasm I had just received I probably would have been embarrassed by this act but I just couldn't care less in my current state. After wiping himself over he climbed back into bed with me and spoke, "I like you too Stiles but this is all it could ever be between us. Sex. I came back from Mexico because Braeden said she needed some time to think about our relationship and our future together and whether that's here in Beacon Hills or elsewhere, one thing is for certain its together. Are you going to be okay with that? With just being friends with benefits?" I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. We had just shared this, well I thought it was, amazing moment and he tells me all it was, all it could ever be is sex and that he basically is just here until Braeden decides where they are going to live and start their lives together. What could I say to that? On the one hand, I did not want to be just his bit on the side until something better came along. But on the other, now I had had a taste of him like this I don't think I could give it up so easily so I made a decision that I knew I would one day regret. "I think I can handle it." He looked at me with a smile, that made him look genuinely happy and replied "Well that's settled then. How about we have a nap and then round 2?" I just nodded sleepily as I turned on my side, my back facing him and curled up for a rest, the last thing I remember before sleep over took me was the warmth of him pulling me against him to spoon while we slept. And so it began, our friends with benefits relationship. Basically whenever he got horny I got a text message and me being the push over was usually at the loft within half an hour engaging in or getting sucked, fucked or rimmed but I still has this pit in my stomach because I knew I loved him and all I was to him was a way to waste away his days and relieve his sexual frustration and that made me somewhat depressed.