A Glimpse Forward
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I would be in a car, alone, with the man that was currently sitting next to me. But here I found myself, on my way to a beautiful lake, with my History teacher; Mr. Masen. I half expected him to lecture me about some war along the way. One that he knew way too much about, and that I cared too little for.
This wasn't the case. Instead, our trip was filled with silence. I don't blame him, though. This isn't exactly a school function. He doesn't owe me an impromptu lesson. As it is, I hardly pay attention in his class. Not because of him- he's a wonderful teacher. Clearly passionate about the subject, a self-proclaimed "History Nerd." That being said, I've just never been so interested in history. I understand the importance of the past, but I can't bring myself to invest so much time on it.
Once again, I realize I'm caught up in my thoughts. The reality of the situation strikes again. I wonder if he feels as awkward about this silence as I do. I study him out of the corner of my eye. If he does, he's not showing any signs. His eyes are fixed on the road in front of him. I have to break the silence. I try to think of an appropriate topic, but it's more difficult than I expect.
"Did your mom make you bring me?" I finally blurted. Smooth Bella, I sarcastically think to myself.
"Wha-.." He shot a quick glance at me before continuing, "No Bella, I'm an adult. My mother does not make me do anything." His tone seeming slightly amused and annoyed at the same time.
"Well, yes, but…" I began to replay the morning in my mind. I remembered how he followed his mother out of the kitchen. How he leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, looking defeated, as his mother announced that he would be taking me to the lake today. "You just didn't seem so thrilled about this." I said, a little too sincerely.
He let out a sigh, confirming my suspicion. It was clear that I had made him feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't help myself. The small space of his car began to feel constrictive as silence took over again. I wanted to ease the tension. I hoped I could make this more comfortable, by pointing out the absurdity of the moment. "I mean, I understand. It is a strange situation we've found ourselves in-"
"Bella," he interrupted, "maybe we should just listen to music." Another sigh escaped him.
"Oh, ok." I felt relieved, knowing that music would fill the space. Ridding us of any awkward silence- ridding me of the need to fill that silence with conversation that he clearly didn't want to take part in. In all honestly, if we were in my car, I would have played music the second we began the drive. Not my car, not my call.
He reached over to the dash and with the push of a button, our conversation ended just as it began.