Rumors in Tirion
Summary: Miriel is beginning to Fade, as the Elves in Middle Earth often did when the strain became too much for them, and her fading unleashes a fell doom upon Middle Earth in the form of an anguished son.
Author Note: In this story I am using the version where Feanor was older when his mother Miriel went to Lorien and "died". In "The Shibboleth of Feanor" he was a grown adult when she passed away, that is the version I am tampering with now. In this story he IS a child, but has seemingly matured faster then other Quendi. This is because his Father's time, being King, often had him divided. On one hand he tried to stay with Miriel to help her... on the otherhand he had to do his duties. As such, Feanor as a child tended to her and stayed with her... in many ways acting like the adult and caretaker.
PROLOGUE
"Nanneth," Feanor said softly, "You must eat."
Miriel Serinde sighed and gave him; consenting to eat a couple bites of the food... although it tasted like ashes in her mouth. She had little desire to do anything now and, were it not for her son's constant presence, she would do nothing... neither eat, nor drink, nor rouse up to dress.
Feanor was here though. He was determined to see her grow stronger again and take her place in life once more.
So young... so naïve to the fact that there are those things in life that can cripple one. She thought sadly.
Truly was he her Spirit of Fire, for he did all he could with a passion. He never settled for doing things half way. He threw himself at any challenge seemingly without fear for his well being. When he began to strive to learn something new he completely immersed himself to the point that she feared he'd do himself some harm.
He is both a danger and boon to himself and others, Miriel mused as she watched her small Feanoro concentrating so hard on cleaning up the dirty dishes.
His silvery eyes focused on the task; determined to leave not a single crumb on the dish. He moved with such speed and procision that she knew he'd be done much quicker then she would have been.
Ah, She thought, but I would be speaking with friends as I was doing so.
In her youth she had befriended so many people. She would invite them over and they'd cook together as they gossiped about this and that. It was a impromptu social gathering in which much was spoken about; some of the information being of little value and others ranging up to information concerning politics.
It was watching Feanor when he brooded that she, lamentingly, knew that he would not share that same blessing she had. All would be attracted to him, his personality was too charismatic for people not to be drawn to him... but none would be truly friends with him or people he would easily share his thoughts with and accept advice from.
She knew that she had not been strong enough as of late to show him via modeling and his father, being King of the Noldor, would be unable to show him anything save people using other people to gain advantage over another.
He will need good, strong, solid, and sensible advice in the future. She knew this as she knew her own right hand.
Her dreams had been haunted while she slept, as if some strange shadow of a doom lurked just out of her sight.
In the dream she saw the two trees, they receded from her vision until they seemed no more then a glow of radiance, then the world went black, a red river ran as the glowing light twinkled out, and then she heard Feanor crying out and saw a dark flame that filled her heart with terror... and she knew, with her whole being, that many people had died within a short span of time.
"Ada!" Feanor's voice had first wailed in the dream... then came the heart-wrenching, "Nana!"
Perhaps, though, if she left now... before her exhaustion some how grew worse... she could avert these horrible visions and keep them from ever occuring. She had to try...
It was that desperate hope for recovery, for a chance at healing, that drove her to enter physically into Lorien.
Feanor pleaded with her desperately not to go. He swore that he could help her. He could do just as good a job as a Vala.
She laughed softly and touched her dear son's raven locks of hair as Finwe hovered near her, watching worriedly to be sure she'd not suddenly collapse.
"That Valar are much greater then any Quendi, Feanoro. If any can help me, it is a Vala who can save my life if they choose so." She assured him; trying to remind him that he was not all powerful. He was only an Elf, and an Elfling at that... he was not fully come into his skills and strength.
With gentle assistance, Finwe and Lorien helped her to lay down. With a sigh of relief she closed her eyes, listened to the birds sing, the wind whisper... and then... she was gone from the Gardens of Lorien, her soul entering the Halls of Mandos.
Ch.1: Gossips
Feanoro never forgot his mother. How could he forget her? She had given him life, had given him her life so that he could live.
Feanor remembered what some of his mother's friends had gossiped about... for they had gossiped about her fate. It made him have difficulty in accepting their presence lightly, but hunger for their knowledge of the woman who had been Miriel before she gave birth to him had driven him to listen.
Miriel, they claimed, had chosen to not return. Allegedly it was what the Valar had informed Finwe of. His father had not spoken of it, had never told Feanor that it was true... but Feanor knew it had to be true. Otherwise Finwe, like Feanor, would still go to where Miriel's body slept within Lorien. An beautiful lady, noble of face, beautiful to be hold, with hands so thin and skilled... and so very empty. Her bright soul long fled...
He knew he should cease going. He knew she was not going to return to him. He knew that the Valar must have informed his father of his mother's decision... he did not know why Finwe had finally asked them for her decision.
For so many years Finwe had seemed content to journey to Lorien with Feanor to stand watch over her. Then after visiting the Vanyar King for a period of time, his father had decided to inquire of Miriel's fate.
"When will Miriel return from Mandos?"
"Her answer to your question is that she will not return from Mandos."
A couple seasons turns later Finwe had visited the Valar again. Feanor, indifferent to what they would speak of had not attended. However, he learned to his chagrin, disdain, and anguish what they had spoken of.
On of the servants had gossiped about it when they did not know Feanor was nearby reading quietly.
"Did you hear?"
"Hear what?"
"Finwe has asked for Indis to become his betrothed."
"How is that possible, is not Miriel his wife? One cannot have two wives! It is against all customs and laws!"
"The Valar told Finwe that he could only have one wife among the living. They told him that if Miriel was willing to remain in Mandos then he may marry Indis."
"So it is true, what they say, Lady Miriel really has decided to not return to life... after all, Quendi are immortal. We cannot die; not unless we share her bizarre fate or meet with mischance. Indis could, and very well might, live forever."
Feanor had silently withdrawn from his area where he read; careful to let none see him... and he spoke to none for weeks after; not even Finwe when his father sought him out.
He ceased to visit Miriel's resting place; knowing it for what it now was. That place did not hold his sleeping mother. It merely held her body; Miriel's soul would not be returning to it.
"Oh Sweet Eru," Feanor sobbed, "What has Atar done?"
...and yet he could not blame Finwe; he loved him too much...
...so he chose to blame Indis.
Ch.2:
Feanor stood in anguish when he saw Finwe's body; slain upon his very door. A childish voice in his gibbered that the Valar might be able to bring him back to life.
Yet a voice whispered in the back of his mind... all the rumors of how the Valar schemed against him and his House. How they favored Nolofinwe, over him, for Kingship. How they conspired to make Nolofinwe King.
Was it not true? Did not Nolofinwe sit upon the Noldor's throne while Finwe had lived? Now that Finwe was dead Feanor did not doubt that Nolofinwe would become the next King. The Valar would probably help him become King.
Does it really matter? Perhaps, if I ask... they will bring Atar back to life. Feanor mused.
He knew his father had loved life, had wanted many children. That was why he'd married Indis and left Miriel to dwell forever in Mandos.
"...it is a Vala who can save my life if they choose so." His mother's words echoed back to him from the past.
They had not chosen to save her, because they did not his Father longed for more children, because he wanted more children he married Indis, because he married Indis Feanor could never have his mother and father again... and perhaps they had done this knowingly and had schemed against him. Maybe all this had occurred for the sole sake of being sure that Feanor never ruled and could not influence the King.
Finwe would never be unable to be influenced by Feanor; they were too close. But Nolofinwe... now he was a different matter. In that case, so was Arafinwe. He did not put it against the Valar to put one of those to on the throne and make him dispossessed.
Melkor, now dubbed Morgoth, always had a kernal of truth in his lies. That is what made him such a great deciever. In this the truth was that Fingolfin would, indeed, become the King. The Valar would not stop it, no they would probably help... after all, they were Morgoth's brethren. Morgoth sought to dominate the Elves and Middle Earth, so then did the Valar.
I will not bide by Morgoth's or the Valar's rule. He thought rebelliously. He would not stay here like a good little boy. He would leave this place... he would get revenge on Morgoth.
But the Quendi will probably not follow just because Finwe is dead. After all, many would claim that he could easily return to life. They would believe the Valar would bring him back or, barring his return, that he CHOSE to stay in Mandos. So... no... what will have them assist me, will bring the Noldor out of Aman?
His eyes fell to the open box that had house the Silmarills that laid broken open near where his father fell. He knew Finwe had died trying to keep those from Morgoth's vile clutches... and a fell smile came to his lips.
The Silmarills invoked the desire in all people's hearts to have them. He knew this for he'd seen Quendi and Vala alike gaze with longing on the jewels. If anything would draw the Quendi to Arda it would be the Silmarills.
With that he returned to Tirion, marching in despite the fact that the Valar had not lifted his exile from him. There he spoke, he wove the best tale that he ever had... so determined to have them believe his words that even he came to believe them. So much so that he convinced himself that he truly did only wish to return the Silmarills to Valinor... so much so that he, and his sons, swore the Oath that none should take and none should break.
END
Author note: This is my take on the tale. I cannot believe that he went after Morgoth solely out of greed and pride. In my opinion his father was the root of it. After writing his suspicion that the Valar chose to not help Miriel return to life and get better, I could not resist using the facts from canon that he was suspicious that Nolofinwe would usurp him... and decided to make him believe that perhaps the Valar orchestrated it all? Who knows? Maybe they did or maybe they did not. Still, half way through writing Feanor's POV, Feanor seemed to suddenly be speaking for himself. So I had to put his logic, no matter how flawed it may be, into the tale.