So "Moments" by One Direction wouldn't get out of my head…
"Jade, you lied to me again! How can I trust you if you won't even tell me who you're going to be alone with for a project?!" Jade keeps an expression of cold steel as her girlfriend's voice rises in anger, brown eyes flaming and alight with hurt and fury.
"Because I didn't want you to get all jealous and freak like you're doing now." Jade's voice holds a near snarl; it's been difficult keeping herself from exploding as the argument escalated. Rage was not an emotion Jade West held in well. Jade's partner on said school project was a girl with an obvious crush on Jade and she definitely wasn't ugly or a bad singer. Tori had already disliked the girl beforehand, having clashed with her over only God knows what before. And Jade had told Tori that her partner wasn't someone that Tori knew, hoping to save her girlfriend the emotions that she was presently having.
"I wouldn't be freaking out if you had just told me the truth!"
Jade snaps.
"No; you would have freaked anyway because you're just so damn clingy and insecure!"
The dark-haired girl's anger quickly dissolves as the harsh notes of her words cut through the air and her throat feels like something sharp has been lodged in it.
Tori opens her mouth, but only a broken whimper makes its way out before her shoulders tremble, and then she's out the door with tears thick in her eyes.
Jade swears out loud, her own shoulders beginning to quiver.
Dammit, she knows Tori is insecure because she's been cheated on and used so many times before. The walls around her heart were almost as thick and guarded as Jade's. The two were no different; Tori just handled it better. Sometimes.
Jade wants to run after her, tell her she loves her and she's sorry, but her knees are weak and now she's the one whimpering in broken fragments, on the verge of breaking.
Shut the door,
Turn the light off; I wanna be with you,
I wanna feel your love,
I wanna lay beside you, I cannot hide this, even though I try
She falls numbly on the couch, body aching for the feel of Tori, aching to show love, aching to give a heartfelt apology that only Tori will hear. The sunlight filtering through the windows begins to dim, dying softly.
Heart beats harder, time escapes me,
Trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder,
And the tears stream down my face
She's crying.
Tori is the only person that can make Jade cry for someone other than herself, she's the only one that can make Jade truly hurt, and yet it makes the raven-haired girl long for her more. The only thing Jade knows is that this kind of pain is somewhere between the good kind and the bad kind.
If we could only have this life for one more day,
If we could only turn back time,
You know I'll be, your life, your voice, your reason to be,
My love, my heart, is breathing for this, moment in time,
I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today
She knows she can think of a heartfelt apology, it's just hard to think of one when Tori's left her jacket, her purse, even her phone, everything except her keys. Her jacket smells like her, tricks her senses into believing she's there if she closes her eyes. Tori's been cheated, used, beaten down verbally by her own sister, ignored by her parents, there's a reason Tori tries to make herself seem untouchable.
If she's untouchable, no one can hurt her.
Close the door, throw the key,
Don't wanna be reminded, don't wanna be seen,
Don't wanna be without you, my judgment's clouded, like tonight's sky
Jade goes to the only room that Tori hasn't touched in her house; her parents' empty room. The thoughts in her head blur.
Hands are silent, voices numb,
Tried to scream out my lungs,
It makes this harder, and the tears stream down my face,
Crying out, expressing your feelings are supposed to make you feel better isn't it? But Jade's throat is hoarse from the screaming and the crying, eyes red from the tears. She can feel her old habits trying to arise and her hands twitch, as if they remembered as well and wanted to curl their nails into her skin till she bled.
If we could only have this life for one more day,
If we could only turn back time,
You know I'll be, your life, your voice, your reason to be,
My love, my heart, is breathing for this, moment in time,
I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today
When did she first meet Tori Vega? The girl was the first to stand up to her openly in such a long time. But she was soft too, as well as resilient. She was gentle with Jade, touched her as if she was something priceless. To Beck, Jade had been little more than a status symbol.
Flashing lights in my mind, going back to the time,
Playing games in the street, kicking balls at my feet,
Dancing on with my toes, standing close to the edge,
There's a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed,
As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all,
No. Jade shook her head and tried to force herself back together. She wasn't going to sit here and feel sorry for herself when she was the one who caused this pain to befall the both of them in the first place.
You know I'll be, your life, your voice, your reason to be,
My love, my heart, is breathing for this, moment in time,
I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today
Tori was hers, and Jade was Tori's. They were tightly intertwined, they had to chafe one another at some point.
You know I'll be, your life, your voice, your reason to be,
My love, my heart, is breathing for this, moment in time,
I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today
She was going to apologize before anything else went wrong.
Seemed a little off to me, but whatever, ya' know?