Monday, April 22nd, was the day my life officially ended. It was the day that I found out that my mother got remarried to, get this, Mr Stotch. Way to start the week off, right? I could barely keep from screaming and jumping out the window when they told me, I mean having Butters as a step brother had to be a sentence worse than death.

Instead of being known as the Jewish kid in school, I would now be known as Butters' brother, can you think of anything worse? Well, I suppose being related to Cartman might be worse but now isn't the time to be thinking about the apocalypse!

"You better get off to school now; you don't want to be late." My mother called.

"I'm going." I groaned; most kids get woken up in the morning by a warm breakfast, not with a new father and brother!

When I arrived at the bus stop, I was surprised to see Craig and Clyde over with my usual gang.

"What are they doing here?" I asked Stan.

"The health teacher is making us do some lame project, we have to measure all the boys in the school and then put them in order from tallest to shortest." Craig muttered rolling his eyes.

"Uh, why?" I asked curiously.

"Budget cuts, they can't afford a doctor to take your physicals this year so we get to do it, Bebe and Wendy are doing the girls, Craig gets to measure you, I get to weigh you." Clyde said.

"We have to do it right now?" I asked.

"The sooner the better, I don't like this anymore than you do." Craig said pulling out a measuring tape.

"Don't we have to have our parents' permission or something?" Stan asked.

"No, now just do it, I am getting cold out here." Craig grumbled. Before we could get started, Butters came running up to us.
"Oh hey fellas." He said in his usual cheerful demeanour.

"Oh good, you can get weighed and measured too." Clyde said.

"Oh boy! That sure sounds exciting." Butters exclaimed stepping onto the scale.

"Two hundred thirty-two pounds, you sure have been packing on the weight there." Clyde muttered.

"Whatever, you guys are the same height and you weigh twelve pounds more." Craig said.

"Well, my weight is muscle!" Clyde retorted.

"Can we just get this over with? The bus will be here any minute." Stan grumbled.

"You're next Marsh." Craig said.

"Five foot eleven, go to Clyde to get weighed, McCormick, you're up next!"

"Six foot one, go to Clyde to get weighed, fat ass, you're next!"

"He obviously means you Kahl." Cartman said shoving me forward.

"I meant you, fat ass, but I guess I will do Kyle first." Craig muttered with a glare at Cartman.

"Four foot eight, cute, go to Clyde to get weighed." Craig said with a smirk.

Cute? Did he just call me cute? I shook my head and walked over to Clyde while I heard Craig tell Cartman that he was five foot nine.

"Do you eat?" Clyde asked.

"Yes, why?" I responded with my eyebrow raised.

"You're nine pounds underweight, have you considered seeing a nutritionist?"

"Thank you Doctor Clyde, but I must be going now, the bus is here." I grumbled.

When I sat down on the bus beside Stan, Butters came running over and sat in the seat in front of me.

"Guess what Kyle, I'm five foot ten; I'm an inch taller than I was last year!" Butters exclaimed with glee.

"That's nice." I muttered even though I didn't care, I hadn't grown an inch in over three years. To make matters worse, I weighed less than I did six years ago.

School went by pretty quickly, that was probably because I didn't want it to end; I wasn't looking forward to seeing Mr Stotch who was moving into my house with Butters.

"Isn't this so cool, we get to walk home together every day!" Butters exclaimed.

"Awesome." I groaned. As I was walking, I felt someone grab my arm.

"What do you want?" I asked, glaring slightly at Clyde.

"I was wondering if you needed a ride, I mean, it can't be safe for a pretty little boy like yourself to be walking this far." He replied.

"I walk this far all the time, and I can take care of myself." I replied with a glare.

"Would you rather ride with me or walk four miles with Butters chattering beside you the whole way?" Clyde whispered harshly into my ear.

When I got into Clyde's car, I was surprised to see Craig in the driver's seat.

"What are you doing driving Clyde's car?" I asked.

"First of all, this is my car; second of all, I am the only one here who is old enough to have their license." Craig replied. That was true; Craig is a year older than everyone else.

"Oh hey fellas! Can I get a ride home too? Kyle and I are going to the same place." Butters said bounding up to the car.

"There isn't any room." Craig muttered before peeling out of the school parking lot.

"What's wrong?" Clyde asked when I let out a light sigh.

"I feel kind of bad for Butters I guess." I muttered.

"I wouldn't if I were you; his cheerful niceness around you is a total act." Craig said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm not that big on gossip, maybe you should tell him, Clyde." Craig replied.

"Okay, Butters, Craig, and I were in History together and Butters was talking to his friends and he said, quote, I can't believe I have to have that midget loser as a step brother, it is totally going to ruin my reputation, if I wasn't afraid of what his mother would do I would have ditched him by now, even worse is that he keeps following me around, unquote."

"He is the one who keeps following me around." I protested.

"We know." Craig and Clyde said in unison.

When I got to my front door, my mother and Mr Stotch were standing there looking livid.
"You are grounded, Mister!" Mr S yelled.

"Why? What did I do?" I asked.

"Poor Butters called us from the payphone telling us how you beat him up and refused to walk home with him." My mother said.

"That's not true! Clyde and Craig gave me a ride, I didn't even touch him!" I protested.

"Go to your room Mister! No supper for you tonight." Mr S shouted pointing his index finger to the stairs.

"You can't tell me what to do." I hissed, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Listen to your step father Kyle." My mother said in her warning tone. I groaned and ran upstairs to my room, my bad mood got worse when I saw Butters lying on my bed playing with my laptop.

"What are you doing with my laptop?" I asked angrily.

"Oh hey Kyle, your mom said I could use it, isn't that cool?" Butters replied with a big cheerful smile.

"You know, you can take your fake little nice guy act and shove it up your ass!" I said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not the one who has things shoved up my ass." Butters retorted with his cheerful smile being replaced with a malicious smirk.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I know all about you and Stan."

"Stan is with Wendy." I muttered rolling my eyes.

"I know you had sex with Craig and Clyde when they drove you home."

"Was that before or after I beat you up?" I asked warily, I didn't know when Butters' personality change had happened but I didn't like it.

Before Butters could reply, my mother called him down for supper. After he left, I signed on my chat and not even a minute later, I got an IM from Stan.

StanxThexMan: How's it going having Butters as a brother?

Kyle: Horrible! He lied to get me in trouble and he made a crack at my sexuality.

StanxThexMan: That doesn't sound like Butters, btw, why is your sn just your name?

Kyle: I couldn't think of anything else, and it's totally true dude, Craig and Clyde even heard him talking smack about me in History.

StanxThexMan: Are you really going to believe what those jerks say? Maybe you're overreacting a little bit, maybe your resistance to having Butters as a bro is making you look through a shit coloured lens.

Kyle: When did you get so philosophical?

StanxThexMan: I'm just saying, but I have to go, supper's ready.

After Stan signed off, I contemplated whether I should do my homework or not, I usually did it right when I got home but I didn't want Butters to copy off me or something.

"Might as well do it while he's eating." I muttered to myself pulling my Algebra book out of my bag. Just as I was about to open the book, I got an IM from Clyde.

HotBoy69: Hey! What's up?

Kyle: Hi, just starting homework, you?

Craig: Hi.

Kyle: Craig?

HotBoy69: Yep, we're having a threesome, me, you and Craig. ;)

Craig: I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who just uses their name as their sn.

Kyle: Me too!

Kyle: So, why are you guys IM'ing me?

Craig: Is there a problem with that?

HotBoy69: Yea : (

Kyle: No, there's not a problem, I was just curious that's all.

I rubbed my chin, I didn't see any reason why they would IM or even give me a ride for that matter, in fact, that have been acting weird all day.

Kyle: Actually, I was wondering, why have you guys been acting weird around me all day? First calling me cute and then offering me a ride, I thought you guys hated me.

HotBoy69: I've always liked you.

Craig: I tolerated you; it was Marsh and Cartman who I couldn't stand.

Kyle: What about now? What changed?

HotBoy69: Well, Craig and I

Craig: We both are well

HotBoy69: We both have a major crush on you!

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, April Fools was like, nearly a month ago and they were trying to play this joke on me.

Kyle: Very funny guys, maybe you should try this trick on Tweek; I heard he's pretty gullible.

HotBoy69: This isn't a trick! We're best friends so we decided that if you didn't want to date both of us then we would support whoever you chose.

Kyle: What if I pick neither one of you?

HotBoy69: Please just give us a chance; we really like you, pleaseeee.

Craig: Yea, you can date both of us for a week and then decide whether both of us, one of us, or neither of us.

Kyle: Let me think about it, I need to do my homework now.

When I signed off, I couldn't help but to smile, not just one, but two people wanted to date me, two pretty attractive people if I do say so myself.

"What are you smiling about?" Butters asked. I couldn't help but to give him a disgusted look when I saw that he had a bit of BBQ sauce on the left side of his mouth.

"I just have two guys who want to date me." I said in a sing song voice.

"Yea right, who would date you?" Butters snorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"You're girly, bitchy, ugly, stuck up, annoying, and just so ugh!"

"Excuse me, but I'm not the one who dressed up like a girl and enjoyed it!"

"I only dressed up like a girl because you and your stupid friends made me!"

"My friends aren't stupid! Well, Cartman is but he doesn't count!"

"You're a stupid ugly slut!" Butters yelled angrily. Before I could think of a comeback, Mr Stotch came bounding up the stairs.

"Stop fighting or you will both be grounded!" He screamed.

"You already grounded me!" I yelled back.
"Well now you're double grounded!"

I rolled my eyes and sat on my bed, trying to ignore Butters who was smirking at me.

"What?" I finally asked after he kept staring at me.

"I'm just enjoying not being the one getting grounded all the time, now someone who really deserves it is getting grounded." He replied with his smirk growing more malicious.

"I don't know what happened to make you such a jerk, maybe it was my friends always making fun of you and making you do things you didn't want to do, maybe it was your parents always grounding you. I really liked the old you, I liked you a lot, but now, I can't even stand you." I whispered harshly before turning around to face the wall. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was the sound of Butters sniffling.