Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Oh, but I do have an original character. Go ahead and steal it. I don't give a rat's ass.
Nightmare Pierre
By Diana Moon Glampers
Binky was having that dream again, the dream that he was on a landscape made out of meat and buns, Hamburger Hill. This dream always started off happy, with the child gorging himself on hamburgers, until a huge hamburger monster emerged and devoured him. He was very cautious, because in this dream the monster had not appeared yet. "Come out, hamburger monster!" Binky said, trying to be sure that his mind was not playing tricks on him. He assumed that the monster was not there. "I'm in the clear!" Binky said to himself. He began shoveling hamburgers into his mouth and eating them fast.
Then, as Binky expected, a huge hamburger monster emerged from the hill. It stood on eight gigantic spider legs and opened its buns to reveal huge teeth, dripping with ketchup and mustard saliva. "What are you doing, boy?" The hamburger monster growled. "Uhh… I was hungry?" Binky said, scared out of his mind. Binky started to run, until more hamburger monsters emerged from Hamburger Hill. They all growled at Binky as they surrounded him. Binky felt a strange sensation in his pants. He had wet the bed. "Oh, darn it all! Darn! Darn! Darn! Darn! Darn!" Binky shouted. He woke up and sure enough, his pajamas and bed sheets were covered in urine. He checked to see if his night light was one. It was, which was very disheartening for Binky. He knew that something had to be done about his recurring nightmares.
What Binky did not know was that his nightmares were being caused by Nightmare Pierre, a wizard that lived in Elwood City. He cast magic spells on people to give them horrible nightmares, just because he enjoyed the thought of other people suffering. Nightmare Pierre lived in an apartment all by himself, surviving off of Ramen Noodles he bought from a convenience store and his lifetime supply of Ding Dongs that he bought before Hostess went out of business. Nightmare Pierre was also unemployed. He received checks from the government in the mail that he used to buy food and pay for his internet connection. Nightmare Pierre loved looking at dirty pictures on the internet because it meant that he was not interacting with other people.
The day after Binky had his nightmare that caused him to wet the bed, he went to school to talk to his friends about his problems. The first person he turned to was Muffy, the resident rich kid in his class. "Muffy, I've been having these really bad dreams." Binky said. His voice was quiet and monotone, like he truly had seen something horrific. Muffy was genuinely concerned with this. Normally Binky was an energetic buffoon, but all of his energy was gone and in its place was a traumatized little boy. "Nightmares? I don't have any nightmares." Muffy said. "You don't? How?" Binky asked. "My parents bought me a dream catcher. I used to have these horrible nightmares about babies ripping out my insides, but now I never have them, thanks to my dream catcher!" Muffy bragged. Normally, Binky took Muffy's "rich girl who can buy her way out of anything" shtick with a grain of salt, but this time, he truly thought that she was onto something. "Thanks, Muffy. I'll try a dream catcher!" Binky said, with regained energy and hope.
Binky went to a new-age hippy store and spent all of his allowance money on a dream catcher. Dream catchers are very expensive for being simply just some wire, beads, and feathers arranged in a simple pattern. He bought one anyway. That night when he went to sleep, he found himself in the exact same dream scenario, where he was on top of Hamburger Hill. There was no ominous feeling of a hamburger monster looming in the air, only an empty nightmare devoid of any terror.
Nightmare Pierre appeared in Binky's dream. "You stupid kid! I hate you and your stupid dream catcher!" The wizard said. Binky laughed at the old man's anger. "You're the one giving me nightmares?" He said between laughter. "Yes! Now I'm going to kill you!" Nightmare Pierre said. He tried to cast a magic spell on Binky, but it did not work. Nightmare Pierre started to cry. "Oh, cheer up, man. It's not that bad." Binky said. He started to touch Nightmare Pierre, until the wizard jumped back. "Don't touch me!"
"What's your name?" Binky asked. "I'm Nightmare Pierre. I give stupid kiddies nightmares." Nightare Pierre said. "Why would you do that? That's mean." Binky said. "Because I hate people. I hate everyone." Nightmare Pierre said. "Well that's not very nice!" Binky said. "Well, maybe the world wasn't too nice to me. Kids made fun of me when I was in school and my parents both died hundreds of years ago. My life stinks." Nightmare Pierre said. "Well, it doesn't have to stink. You could make it better." Binky said. "No I can't." Nightmare Pierre said. "Well, you won't if you have a loser attitude." Binky said.
Nightmare Pierre started to think about Binky's words. "You know, maybe it is me. Maybe I'm only miserable because I want to be miserable. I don't want to be miserable anymore." The wizard said. "Now you're talking!" Binky said, standing up. "I'm going to go get a job and stop being the unmotivated piece of poop I am! From now on, Nightmare Pierre will only give nightmares to people who won't face their problems, just like how nightmares used to work in the old days!" Nightmare Pierre said. "Yeah! Wait, what?" Binky said, confused about that last part. "Oh, don't you know how nightmares work, Binky? Every nightmare has a true meaning behind it. It's your own mind telling you that you aren't facing your problems and that you need to face them at some point. Don't you think you're on Hamburger Hill for a reason?" Nightmare Pierre said.
With that, Nightmare Pierre disappeared. Binky saw the hamburger monster appear before him again. It rose from the depths of Hamburger Hill and showed its teeth to Binky. "Nothing can save you now, Binky! Not even your mother!" The hamburger monster said. It lunged toward Binky, dragging him into its mouth by the child's ankle. Binky awakened in a cold sweat. His dream catcher had disappeared and he finally knew the true meaning of his recurring nightmares. The true meaning swept over him like a chilling wind in a storm. He heard Nightmare Pierre's voice whispering to him through the wind.
"You're getting fat."
The End