A/N: Hello everyone! I'm not dead! Sorry I haven't been updating lately, finals are coming up and after those are over updates will be back to normal. Honestly, I have no idea why I wrote this. The general idea came up when I was talking with a friend over Skype and he misspelled 'Thomas the Train' as 'Thomas the Tank'. This is just a one-shot to prove I'm… Still Alive!

…that was a horrible pun… and I don't own Thomas the Train or TF2

"MEN! I WILL NOT TOLLERATE FAILURE!" Thomas the Tank shouted across the dusty battlefield to his fellow tanks and mercenaries. Opposing the team of nine blue tanks was a gang of nine dinosaurs, who were wearing red armor and bore no riders. The team of tanks were sent on a mission to destroy a portal through time and television stations, which was creating dinosaurs that were… educating children!

Unfortunately, each time a tank or mercenary killed a dinosaur, a new one came from the portal to replace it. The blue fighters knew it was a losing battle, but they were the only thing standing between the dinosaurs and humanity. Fighting alongside Thomas was a man clad in a flame-retardant suit, wielding a flame thrower, shotgun, and axe, and the duo were fighting off a giant purple and green t-rex, who was loudly commanding his own troops.

Above the battle was a helicopter with a man leaning out the side. The man in question as brandishing a long sniper rifle, picking off dinosaurs with lethal headshots. This man, called the Sniper by his fellow mercenaries, whispered something in an Australian accent before blowing the head off another the fallen dinosaur were two other men, connected by a thin blue beam that emerged from a gun-like machine held by one of the men. The larger of the two, bearing a Gatling gun and shotgun, was laughing crazily while filling dinosaurs with custom-tooled bullets at ten thousand rounds per minute. This man was the Heavy Weapons Guy, and the man behind him was the Medic, who kept a steady stream of healing on the Heavy.

Just behind the Heavy and Medic stood another man with an automated mounted gun, which was locked in combat with a significantly larger dinosaur. Aiding this man was a second, green and blue tank who was known as Percy. Although Percy lacked a large rotating turret most other tanks had, he was equipped with multiple machine guns that fired incendiary rounds.

The battle that day was a bloody one, but the man clearly carrying the team to victory was the beeyotiful man called the Scout. He was pretty much the best, like, shooting giant dinosaurs left and right. Kinda a big deal. This guy, man, he's a force a nature, like, he's a real-

"Uncle Scout, that doesn't answer my question. I just wanna know why Barney isn't on TV anymore." Scout facepalmed at his nephew's comment.

"Look kid, I was there. Us and them tanks fought off Barney and his forces in a freakin' epic battle. It was all thanks to yours truly though, which is what I was just gettin to." Scout tried to continue. Alas, he was cut off.

"Uncle Scout, I think my mommy knows. Imam go ask her real fastly." The six-year-old decided as he ducked out of Uncle Scout's absurd story. Little did that six-year-old know, but for once in his life, Uncle Scout was telling the truth…

A/N: Well? Was it funny? I kinda cut it off so I could post this early. Also, I just saw the new Avengers movie for those who are reading from the good ol' US of A. Has anyone else seen it yet? You don't really have to review on this, but if you want this to become a full story (somehow?) then say so. Only 3 more days of school for me, then updates will return to normal!