Disclaimer: I do not own Camp Rock or "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. I have had to listen to my sister and best friend complain about the lack of actual irony in the examples in that song, though, which in itself is sort of ironic.
A/N: Thank you to MissNata13 for reading an early draft of this. She is kind enough to help me battle my insecurities about my writing.
Caitlyn looked up and noticed Nate hovered in the doorway, a clear indication that something was wrong.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" She asked knowingly.
He hesitated before responding. "My aunt just called, and she wants one of my cousins to some stay with us for awhile."
Nate had three cousins – a ten year old who was fantastic with the girls, a fourteen year old who reminded Caitlyn of Nate as a teenager, and a seventeen year old drama queen. She could tell by her husband's body language it wasn't going to be one of the good options.
"So how long is Brittany staying?" Caitlyn asked flatly.
"How did you know it was Brittany?"
"Cause you look like you think you're going to get yelled at." Caitlyn stated.
Nate entered the room and sat next to his wife before saying, "Yeah, my poker face sucks. That's probably why Shane always beats me at cards."
"So why is your aunt sending Brittany to visit?" Caitlyn asked.
"Apparently Brittany and her new boyfriend are getting too serious too quickly," Nate said.
Caitlyn looked incredulous. "So she's sending her here? That's a little ironic don't you think?"
Nate wasn't exactly sure what his wife was talking about, but he did know exactly how to respond to get his wife worked up. "Ironic? Like rain on your wedding day?"
"No, Nate. Ironic as in actual irony. Cause I passed high school English, unlike whoever wrote that stupid song you always insist on quoting." Nate grinned. She knew he was goading her, and yet she couldn't help herself. "Cause unless you concoct an elaborate back story, there is nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day. It might be unfortunate, disappointing, even upsetting. But not ironic."
Nate had heard this rant hundreds of times, and yet it still amused him.
"Stupid song," Caitlyn grumbled.
"Okay, so how is my cousin visiting actually ironic?" he asked.
Caitlyn raised her eyebrow at her husband, clearly communicating that she thought he was being an idiot, but she answered. "She thinks her teenage daughter's relationship is too serious, so she sends her to stay with the poster children for teen romance?"
Nate still looked confused.
"Come on Nate. Every love struck teenager thinks that they've found their soul mate and it will last forever, but most high school relationships barely make it to the next period. Then there's us. We started dating as teenagers, overcame seemingly insurmountable odds like distance and fame, got married, had children and lived happily ever after. It's what they all think will happen, but it almost never does."
Nate looked thoughtful. "So you think sending her to stay with us will reinforce Brittany's belief that she and this guy are meant to be together?"
Caitlyn shrugged. "It could. And we're not exactly in a place to tell Brittany that she shouldn't get too serious with her boyfriend because we had already been dating for awhile when we were her age."
"You're probably right," Nate said with a sigh. "But I don't think my aunt wants us to talk her out of it or anything. I think we're just convenient because were far enough away that they can't see each other."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Caitlyn quipped.
"I think my aunt was going for out of sight, out of mind."
Caitlyn smirked. "I think that only works when you give them something more interesting to think about."
Nate looked offended. "We're interesting. Hell, there are entire websites devoted to how fascinating I am." Caitlyn stared at her husband and saw the exact moment he realized what he had just said. Wincing, he said. "Is there any way you could not tell Shane I said that?"
"I might be able to forget this entire conversation took place if you made the bed and put out clean towels in the guest bedroom."
"I can do that," Nate assured her. "In fact, I'm going to go do that right now."
"Good idea," Caitlyn deadpanned.
Brittany had been there a week, but it felt like much longer than that. Even Melody, who got along with everyone, had asked when she was leaving. Annabelle had just take to pretending that the sullen older girl was not there.
"Mom, can we go to the park?"
"Annabelle, your cousin is still asleep," Caitlyn told her daughter.
The little girl shrugged. "That's okay. I don't want her to come anyway."
"I know, sweetheart," Caitlyn said. "But she's only here for a little while so we just have to try."
"Okay, Mommy," she sighed. "But it's hard. She's boring and cranky."
Caitlyn gave her daughter a look.
"I know I'm not supposed to say boring, Mommy, but she is."
"Just be nice, Annabelle. And your dad said he would take us all to Disneyland when she wakes up, and even Brittany can't make that boring." Hearing her mother say the forbidden word made Annabelle giggle.
Turned out Caitlyn was wrong; Brittany could even suck all the joy out of the happiest place on earth. She sulked and spent the entire time texting her boyfriend. On the walk back to the car, Melody tugged on her mom's hand.
"Please sit in the back with us, Mommy," the little girl begged.
Caitlyn glanced down at her daughter, who looked tired and pale. "Of course, Mel. That'll be fun."
Melody smiled at her mom.
Once everyone was settled in the car and Nate had pulled out of the parking lot, Brittany turned and asked her cousin a question. "You and Caitlyn have been together for a long time, right?"
Nate nodded. "Since we were teenagers. We've pretty much been together since the night I met her." He looked in his rearview mirror and smiled at his wife.
"Did you ever break up or anything?" his cousin asked.
"No." Caitlyn answered for her husband.
"We almost broke up that one time when I was in Europe," Nate said.
Caitlyn shook her head. "Not really. It was just a misunderstanding."
Nate glanced at his cousin before adding, "We got engaged instead."
Before Brittany could ask any more questions, Melody moaned, "Mommy, I don't feel good."
Before Caitlyn could even respond, the little girl turned her head and threw up all over her mom. Caitlyn dropped her purse on the floor and reached out to help her daughter, who started to cry as her stomach continued heaving. Caitlyn was vaguely aware of Brittany making a face in the front seat as the teenager stuck her head out the window, but she was too focused on her daughter to really process anything else.
"I'm sorry, Mommy," Melody sobbed.
"Oh, honey, don't be sorry. You didn't do it on purpose. We'll take care of it when we get home." Caitlyn said soothingly.
"How can she just sit back there?" Brittany muttered. "It smells so bad, and she's covered in it."
Nate looked at his wife lovingly. "She's used to it; this isn't the first time one of the girls has thrown up on her."
Caitlyn wiped her hands on one of the few clean places on her shirt before reaching out to stroke her daughter's hair. "It's okay, Mel. We'll get you all cleaned up when we get home and then we'll watch a video. Does that sound good?"
Melody gave a watery smile and nodded.
A week later, Nate strolled into the family room smirking. "My aunt just called to thank us," he said.
"She'd better be grateful," Caitlyn grumbled. "Her daughter is a total brat."
"Yeah, apparently we are so boring and having children is totally gross, and Brittany was so scared of turning into us that she broke up with her boyfriend as soon as she got home."
Caitlyn sat stunned.
"How's that for irony?" Nate asked.
"It's defiantly ironic," Caitlyn agreed. "And pretty insulting."
Nate nodded. "I know. We aren't boring. I mean I'm a rock star and you've got a Grammy."
"And our kids aren't gross!"
"I think she was referring to Melody throwing up," Nate explained.
"Whatever. Like she's never vomited. I'm still insulted."
He joined his wife on the couch before asking, "So what should we do tonight?"
Caitlyn shook her head. "I don't know. How about seeing what's on television."
As he reached for the remote, Caitlyn looked at her husband. After all they had been through together, she could honestly say she still loved him. She leaned her head onto his shoulder. "Okay, maybe we might be a little boring," she said. "But she should be so lucky to be like us."