A/N: This is a one-shot that came out after watching that superb piece of TV that was RedTeam, BlueTeam. It's very experimental in the sense that I don't know if I managed to convey my idea. So to make things clearer, all the quotes in italic except for the first and the last one are what Will said with his eyes, in my opinion, during this episode. I have always believed that Josh Charles does a lot of acting with his eyes and so this was born. The other two quotes are from Jane Eyre. I apologize to the Kings (God Bless the Kings should be a new anthem!) and to all of you fans that feel that this piece of writing is just ruining an excellent episode.
"The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter - often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter - in the eye."
His eyes were one of the first things that she had been attracted to when she was at Georgetown.
Back in high school, Alicia Cavenaugh had scoffed at all the metaphors that had been concocted about green and blue eyes. Color was nothing more than a roulette draw, a genetic accident. Bright eyes, on the other hand, those that shined with personality were right up her alley. They revealed a craft in handling emotions that Alicia considered essential in many situations.
Will's eyes had always fascinated her. They were capable of speaking a language of their own and she had felt so privileged to be able to share with him that secret connection. Not everyone was able to read Will behind his boisterous exterior but those initiated found him a much more interesting character than one would ever imagine.
Ever since she had been working at Lockhart/Gardner, she had undergone of process of rediscovery. Will had become a much better actor and her interpretation skills that concerned him were not well-honed. But it hadn't taken much to breach his defenses and understand the words that his eyes were speaking. Those words that revealed the real him. She still was fooled at times but often he was an open book. The problem was that one had to have the courage to read those pages and to face that reality.
During the mock trial, Alicia wanted nothing more than to close that masterpiece of thriller, romance and adventure that was Will Gardner because watching his emotions play out was adding massive blame to her already clogged pile.
It had begun easily, a childish pastime disguised as work.
"Game on!" he had said.
"I remember that competitive streak, Alicia. Let's see if we can still have fun as all those years ago" he had implied.
But the always sinister David Lee had changed the stakes with a conversation. This was no game anymore. Not when they had been dangling the partnership in front of her eyes just to take it away when it was convenient to do so.
"Watch it, you two!" he had hissed
"Stop it! This isn't fun anymore" he had meant.
"Wait! I had nothing to do with that decision. I wasn't even in the meeting" he had explained.
"You have to know that I wouldn't do this to you. To anyone else maybe, if necessary, but never to you." his eyes had begged.
"Alicia! You think the name partners control everything? We are as much subject to the equity partners as you and Cary. They can outvote us" he had continued.
"Do you really think that if I had the power I wouldn't have stopped it? Don't you trust me, after everything that we have been through? Don't you know me better than this?" he had pleaded.
She had believed him at that point. Will was not an unjust person per se. The law had made him flexible on his moral standards and he had walked the line towards the gray area more than once but to deliberately dangle the partnership in front of her eyes just to take it back? This was not Will Gardner, the person and she wanted to imagine that this was not even Will Gardner, the name partner.
Her anger, though, was not waning. She felt betrayed, humiliated by the job, the new partner in her life after Peter had proven unreliable. She had an outing for her rage in mock-court and she was not powerful enough to give it up.
When Will arrived in her office, he was royally pissed. His eyes, she noticed, were brimming with the passion that she admired after all these years practicing law. The same passion he already had at Georgetown. In the deserted office his voice resounded with more violence than intended.
"You got a problem, you bring it to me. You don't take it to court" he had almost yelled.
"Hasn't my door always been open for you?" his eyes had added.
"What? I am a lawyer. You asked us."
"We asked you to take this seriously!"
"I am taking this seriously!"
"You are losing us a client" he kept raging.
"Why? Don't you believe me? Are you punishing me?" he silently wondered.
"That's not my fault"
"It damn well is your fault"
"Don't take me for a fool, Alicia. You knew what seriously meant when we assigned you the case!" his inaudible, but visible undertone had communicated.
"Well, then take us off of it. Fire us, get rid of us"
"That's what you want. That's what these meeting with the clients... Is that what this is about?"
"Please, don't tell me I was wrong. Don't tell me that this isn't just a smart scare tactic. Don't tell me that you really want to leave me" he implored.
"Oh my God! Listen to yourself, Will. You are not the injured party here"
"Oh, And you are?"
"Are you that hurt? Am I a part of it, even if it all happened without my control?" he caved.
"I am, yes"
In a few brief seconds he had used his look to compose an epic saga that spoke of apologies, love, lust and passion. Then he had his lips talk for him. Those lips that drugged her, that made her lose control, that freed the woman inside the good wife. Those lips that made her abandon the safe harbor of her rationality. She could not stay in the aftermath of the kiss. She was afraid to see again that steadfast feeling of love in his eyes that she could not accept. Not at the moment, maybe not ever.
When David Lee came to her to reoffer her partnership, the whole affair seemed tainted. Was it Will that had pushed the others to give it to her? Was she not better than Peter's prostitute rewarded for services given or out of guilt.
"I was offered the sole equity partnership."
"I know, I heard" he spoke quietly, almost apologetically.
"This didn't have anything to do with..."
"No, no"
"You sure, because I..."
"Alicia, pat yourself on the back. You're good. This is because you're good" he reassured her
"I am not that kind of person. I like you also because you're so amazing, don't you see? You earned the promotion with your hard work and greatness. I am just collateral damage."
"Ok. What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know. It was a weak moment" he contributed, noncommittally.
"I am letting you take the lead, Alicia, as always. You hold the power to decide everything between us. You hold the power to give the final interpretation on what happened" was the message she understood loud and clear.
"I know"
"We should avoid being alone together" he suggested.
"Surprise me, Alicia. Tell me it's not what you want. Tell me you want to be alone together more. Tell me that I'm not a deluded romantic that just won't quit loving you" he was imploring.
"Yeah"
"Ok" he sounded defeated.
"I'm sorry Will"
"About what?" he asked, almost surprised.
"It's not your fault if your life is complicated. Mostly, it's not your fault if you don't love me enough to work through those complications. Don't blame yourself" he finished silently.
"Oh, I don't know. What am I not sorry about?"
"It's life. We are in constant danger of running off the road" he said while moving away
"Breathe, Alicia. You're off the hook. I am going to make things easy for you, as per usual. No awkwardness necessary. This is my gift, now and in the future" her Will-reading skills translated.
Being welcomed into the ranks of equity partners felt like a bittersweet victory. Cary wasn't there to share the spotlight and she felt alone on the opposite side of the glass. But the real moment in which loneliness took hold of her was when Will shook her hand:
"Congratulations!" she heard.
"I would like to do much more than just offer you a formal handshake. I would like to celebrate rehashing all your secret fantasies. I would like to whisper in your ears in those seconds before your sleep that I am proud of you, of the lawyer you've become, of the lawyer you could always be. And even though you decided that I was a complication not worth exploring, I am smiling because I am still so proud of you. So, please, understand that I am much more ecstatic for you than what a simple shook of hand can convey." was what she saw.
"You would say you don't see it: at least I flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware, by-the-by, what you express with that organ, I am quick at interpreting its language)."