Author's note: this is not gonna be some cheesy romance fic. It has a heart, but the main point of it is Stan's investigation of Wendy's new boyfriend and Cartman and Wendy as a new couple. Those two have a great comic potential together, so let's fucking exploit this "beauty and the beast on drugs" type of thing
Chapter one: Hippie and the Beast
Wendy laid beside the fat boy, head in his chest, after some a-fucking-mazing sex. It was rather strange being in love with Cartman. He got in her nerves like no one else did. When they fought, too often to count, he would never back down and let her have her way. Unless she blackmailed him in some way
At the same time, all that fire he used to fight also drived her crazy. He was a bad boy. Sociopath, nazi, sadist, torturer, creep, bastard, manipulator were only a few of the worlds she used to describe him. Yet, it was mesmerizing. The more she tried to deny it, the more she was in love with him.
To lie beside him in bed like that was rather comforting. Some hidden sweetness he had and no one else saw. Like he was saying "Here, hippie bitch. I can be nice when I want to. Let me get some fucking rest from being the evil bastard I know you love"
"That was kewl!" Eric said, breaking the silence
Wendy giggled "It was. Did you lose weight?"
"I did, how did you know?" Eric asked confused
"You felt a bit lighter than last time. Thanks for that, by the way" she said, kissing his neck
She was still dating Stan. Although she knew he cheated on her. Not sure with who, and she also didn't care. She stopped liking Stan years ago. She had been in love with Eric for some time now. Since third grade to be exact. 8 years fighting it back. They were now 16 and shagging like rabbits to overcompensate the lost time
"I'm gonna dump Stan" Wendy said. She was thinking about it since she and Cartman fucked for the first time 2 months ago. She wasn't sure if he liked her or was just looking for sex,
But all the hugging, the conversations, and the way he looked at her…
He loved her. Wouldn't say it for the life of him, but he did
"Finally, hippie!" Eric said, calling her by the 'pet name' "What took you so long?"
"I wanted to see if you were 'for seriouslay'" she imitated his voice on that last part. He laughed "in this. Well, you are so I'm gonna be seriously too" she hugged him even tighter
"I'm seriously! You might be a dumb hippie ho, but goddamn it, be MY dumb hippie ho"
"Is that your twisted way of asking me to be your girlfriend?" she giggled
"Yeah" He answered with his classic grin
"Good" she kissed him "We're just gonna have to keep it a secret for a while"
"I know" Cartman said, a bit disappointed "Stan's gonna freak out when he finds out. I don't want him going back to those fucking goths"
"Yeah, that would suck" She said "but we can tell everyone someday. Just wait a bit"
She kissed him "Just know that from now on, I'm your girlfriend and you WILL respect my Authoritah" She loved his catchphrases. For some reason
"Ey! Don't steal my catchphrases, bitch, respect my authoritah!" he said
"Tale as old as time,
Song as old as rime...
Hippie and the beast" She sung before kissing him again
"